Everyone goes through some stage in their life when they don’t know what the hell they are doing or why and what to do next, its normal, and usualy does happen around your age when you feel pressured into finding the next stage when you leave school etc thats why alot of people tend to take a year off, they leave school get a job fora year to save extra cash and then after that year they usually figure out what they want to do for a more permanent situatuion as in uni and corses etc some even go traveling. You just need to do what you want and not what you feel pressured into, nothing is right and not alot is wrong and the future isn’t written in stone, just take your time and try to enjoy where your at and the fact that there are choices out there that you woudn’t even think of you just gotta get u and find them.
Try to stay possative
At 19 you don’t have to have your entire future mapped out in black ‘n white. What is it you like to do? A good sense of humor is good and I think you already possess that.
Talk to the school counselor. Look for places that you can show your creativity. If you paint, look for a group or club with a similar interest. Step out of your “comfort zone”. It will give your eyes a whole new perspective to see things differently.
i don’t known how are you but i can understand your position. if you saw this reply you will like to laugh at me as am also going through same delma.
What classes make you enthusiastic? What makes you enthusiastic in general? Most people I know didn’t even declare a major until 3-4 year. Maybe a break from college would even help.
I don’t know. As of now I am going for an Elementary Education Degree. I like the ‘idea’ of it I suppose, but people keep asking me why I chose that major and my only answer is: “I’ve wanted to do that my entire life” The truth is, however, that I have NO experience with children at’ll! Is that weird? Is that a bad thing? All my other friends in my major have tons of experience with kiddies–camps, church, daycare, babysitting (which I have done like 3 times) ect. But I am the youngest in my family and just have awkwardness with children from lack of experience. I love how when my family talks of me being a teacher (and everyone else who doesn’t really know me) they all say “you’ll make a great teacher”!! (that always makes me feel good. ) BUT IT”S ALL LIES!!!
Now, I have been in a classroom—once—and I did enjoy it. but I just am not sure still… plus, the teacher that I worked with said I wasn’t very enthusiastic… that hurt the little bit of feelings I have left.
I have thought about transferring colleges–but I have fear of the unknown. Besides, I LOVE my college… the reason I would transfer is because the college that I attend now doesn’t have my “other” choice major. ( I thought about becoming a draftsperson)
Taking a break college is not an option either. If I leave, I may never return.
*sigh* I love how I feel as if I ‘know’ everything (common teenage disease) and then realize just how stupid I really am…
What classes make me enthusiastic?
–well I really enjoyed sociology, but umm.. what would I do with that degree?! Become a professor… forget about it.
Take sociology because you love it. Trust me.
Talk to your friends about getting involved with camps, church, daycare or whatever else interests you.
College is a safe place to test your likes and dislikes. Experiment.
I wouldn’t so readily dismiss people’s comments that you would make a great teacher, either, even thought that may not be what you want to do. And that “lack of enthusiasm” comment might have come at a time when you were down about things, so don’t take that to heart — as if we were always on our game.
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I shall give you my best advice that comes from a lovely song by Baz Lurman:
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.”
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gordon bennett! i could’ve written this myself all those years ago (i’m 45 now) - but i dropped out of uni at 19 - my head was so confused - it still is sometimes. try and keep life ‘in the day’ - i’ve been in different jobs, had a decent career in the end - but i still smile and try and get through each day - i’m currently planning to jump out of my job and move off-grid - don’t worry too much - lifes a bit of an adventure- my only regret is that i fretted too much about stuff - most of which never happened! all the best to you :-)
@Nick
I too am a worrier. Good Luck with the ‘adventure’ I’d be too scared to leave a job–unless i was sure of greener pastures
Anonymous
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2 years, 5 months ago (6 hours, 40 minutes after post)
hey there!
im almost 19, heading to college this fall.
i had the same dilemma.
the college i was planning on going to took me in but then due to some technicality i realized i wont be able to do international relations over there and thats what i applied for. i wasnt interested in any other degree at tht college.
the college costed A LOT aswell.
it was NYU actually.
everyone went insane, telling me tht i should go to NYU even if i cant do international relations. but in the end, i decided tht wasting all tht money for a degree i dont wanna do is stupid.
so i didnt go to NYU in the end. it was my dream college but my dream of doing international relations was a bigger one. so now im going to another lesser known college but i am SO HAPPY.
so moral of the story is that its okay to be confused. sometimes you just need to sit back and find out what makes YOU happy. if elementary education degree isnt ur style, THEN LEAVE IT RIGHT NOW and decide on something else. even if u take a gap yr its alright. i think u sound responsible, you will come back after a year bk to college.
having a degree ure not interested in is like marrying a guy you dont really like. and that is just horrible you know.
THere are other things you can do with a Sociology degree. I thought the same thing. You can be a social worker, or a counsler, you need it to get a degree in Psych. too. After reading all of these answers to your problem, I only noticed one thing that noone asked. Is there someone pressuring you to do this? I am wondering this because you make it sound like you have no other options. GOD has a way of opening doors and closing them too. Just be aware of all of them.
Take everything one step at a time. First, decide if you want to go to college or not. Approach it logically: pros vs. cons, good vs. bad, etc. Second, you do not have to decide what you want to do in life right away. You can even go to college with an “undeclared” major. In other words, you just try different things until you find what you like. I was 19 at the beginning of college, and faced the exact same problem. I kept thinking that I had no future just as you do, but I was wrong. Just because you don’t know your future, it doesn’t mean you don’t have a future.
calm down its not that bad at youre age i hated my parents, my teacher,myself so i took my few belongings and immigrated to australia and made something of my life. Get a backpack grab youre passport and of you go learn something about real life .go and see the world,the real world not what you just see on tv.
do it
slim– I’d love to. I have no money and I’d hate to go alone. I try to get my friends to go on small trips (but we are all too poor and can’t even do that)
Look find jobs work in the night if you have to what are you a man or a mouse? before i came to australia 5 of my best friends wanted to come with me, not one did, make enough money for a air plain ticket and a couple of hundred bucks .In australia there is season work grape picking,cherry picking i see so many backpackers from usa ,canada, europe they work a month than back surfing on the beach once you get to know them Boys and Girls you help each other out and most of them did come by themself.Come on youre 19 ,the world is waiting
PLZ dont just run off to australia without any back up!
thats just insane!
oh, i would never. I would love to, however, I need money, more money, and a friend or two…
I made a mistake:
my mom’s friend has five kids. They are PERFECT kids. PERFECT. she asked if I wanted to babysit. and because i am working everyday (and i have only babysitted like 3 or 4 times in my life) i said no. WHAT was i thinking!? She is even a relatively close neighbor. This would be a great experience. and i said no.
I saved myself at the end (while she was talking about how her hubby wanted to go out randomly) I said she could always call to see if i am home. but i think that she won’t call because she’ll feel like she ‘guilt tripped’ me —which she didn’t–I had just realized my stupidity. UGH!
See i am SO stupid!
Oh, Crack. It’s ok to change your mind. Just call her and say you changed your mind and you’d be happy to babysit sometime. We’re all pretty much well-intentioned screw-ups.
” I don’t know what I want. When I look into my future, all I see is darkness. I don’t have a future. There is something wrong with me. I can’t SEE where I am going in my life.” I have been saying these wrds to myself since i don’t know how many ages.
i don’t know what i want from life. To top it all i don’t even know what this life is all about. I feel everything about life fictitious; like a dream world where u don’t have control on anything;i feel like an alien in my own body; unaware of whatz gonna happen next and despite whatever i may plan, something else happens making me feel more confused and messy.
So i thought probably the best thing is to live in the present. So i am trying that these days not thinking about what my future is gonna be like. that doesn’t make me feel very good but thatz ok.
I can’t tell you what u should do to feel better but i can certainly feel wht u are going through. And all i would say is that people who give thought to their lives will certainly to something great in life. A lot is in store 4 you and might come your way when you least expect it. last thing: whatever stage of life you are at or whatever mess your life is in, analyse what is the best you can do with what god gave you and do that.
Your well wisher…..
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I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was starting off to college. First I just took a few general courses so that I could find out what interested me the most. It’s very important to do what makes you happy in life. Not what others want you to do, or what society “expects” from you or what will earn you more money. You may not know right off what will make you happy, but try out a few different things you think you will like. You’re still very young and have plenty of time to sort these things out!
I’m 19 (for 1 more day) and i did the opposite. i left school, went and did what I wanted, studied what I wanted to, worked when I wanted to, got what job I wanted to, basically lived for myself, yet I still find myself in the same position as you. I’m actually about to start studying thru distance education to get some qualifications while I’m still working full-time to make up for the fact I quit school and didnt go to college or uni. I would definitely get a degree or similar, ut in something you will enjoy and find fulfilling.
The best thing about being 19 - you have time on your side to experiment. And as Oster said - college is the best place for that.
I really like the idea of working at camps, etc. If you like the outdoors and helping kids, you could try being an outdoor counselor. They take a qroup of kids hiking/camping and teach them about life in the great outdoors, while building character, learning to take care of themselves and rely on others. Something to think about.
As for the botched babysitting job - call her back - tell her you would like the opportunity to watch her kids.
As for the teacher - that’s one person opinion - don’t take it to heart. She may very well have been having an off day herself and focused on the negative all around her. Let that one go.
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OK dear… shut up about being lost… at 19 you can not be lost… and I know you… you only THINK you are lost. In actuality you know exactly where you are going… you will be a train engineer and that is why you feel like you are in a long dark tunnel! Just kidding ;)
Have you taken the Meyers Briggs test? You generally have to pay to take a really verbose one… but there are several free ‘demo’ versions on the internet…. this is an interesting one:
http://www.similarminds.com/career.html
Lastly… I’m going to be 48… I returned to college at 46 because it was not until then when I got my “calling”. I’ve done, Retail (selling, office, cashiering, and management) Banking (research, management), High Tech Software (Tech support, management) and now I’m doing Info Security at a bank. But it’s only a job… I’ve done several things while I have been growing up… most people do, so don’t sweat it. I personally don’t think people should start college until they are 23 to 25… let them get some real world experience first. Oh… I am now studying to be a life coach (with degree in psych), seminar speaker, teacher and spiritual advisor (psychic)
Bright blessings~
Richard
a lot of people go to college to get a degree THEIR PARENTS want them to get. or if it was something they mentioned wanting to do when they were little and when asked about college their parents say well i always thought you wanted to do this; and then you’re afraid to disappoint them.
im not 19. not even close, and i have no idea what i want to study, so this might not mean much coming from a 15 year old. maybe you need a vacation. :)
Dear Confused,
You do have a HEART, if you did not you would not be looking for answers….:) I’ve been where you are MANY, many, many times in my life more than I care to remember but I’m still here and did ok so far. Still have a long, long way to go. Sound like your a bit depressed which happens if your just going into college or if it is after your first year. I learned a most important rule about people and myself LATE, however not so late that I could not change it. I did what your doing, doing what I am supposed to and what everybody thinks were supposed to, the problem with that is unhappiness and just going thru the motions of life. Been there done that, back there again but soon I’ll find another avenue. My Mom always said, when one door closes another will open. It may not be one you might expect. Ask yourself, “when am I at my happiest and most peaceful” when you can answer that—–find a way to follow that path. It’s a hard question to answer truthfully, yet an even harder one to find a way in which to follow and make it work for you in a way that you can support yourself. I’ve seen the end of my life seven times now, but avoided it with my will and a little help, I have two left, but I have found a way to not see it………I can’t tell you because it’s different for every one, it’s there, you just can’t see it yet. I promise the answer is staring you in the face like it has for me many times and is for others, just take the “BLINDERS” where all taught to have, once you do and look outside the box………the whole world will become bright and alot of fun. Just be yourself without hurting yourself or others………..:) Try this, next time your out at a store hold open a door for someone LOOK them in they eyes and say Hello with a smile…………You’ll be surprised what will happen???
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I went to college for an elementary education degree, and have been a pre-school teacher, but am now a stay at home mom. When I was your age, I had no idea what was to come. I had fun, I travelled a bit… I settled down when I was 23. You will find your way.
Hey Crackhappy(hackcrappy) it’s a thing I like to do with words. I am not preaching nor giving advice but can tell you a short story. A young girl 18 from a very small town and school who had no desire to further her education liker her younger sister(who went on to an ivy league school). She had a passion for her hobby she loved–Photography. From the earliest time I can remember I too loved photography and ALWAYS had a camera in my hand. I never had the best or even good, but it did not matter the fire to take pictures burned inside me. I did something this girl did not do, followed another dream to be a Police Officer(State Trooper), did so, but found a way to use my passion in photography in that profession.I eventually got injured and disabled and needed to find an alternative job although I did NOT need to because I still get pychk. So I took my hobby and made it into a THRIVING studio. NOW getting to the 18yr old girl. While at wedding I met a teacher he photography in HS. I said I hired a 20yr old who had a degree, I told him I have NO idea how she graduated and was letting her go. She was awkward, non personable, could not take a photo etc etc. I said jokingly if you know anybody let me know.I gave him a card and went back to work. A shy girl called, came in for interview and graduating from HS soon. She was very shy but a spark and a future in her I could see. She came to me living life the way taught, you save money in a bank,wear “BLINDERS”. from her father you NEVER look outside the “BOX”. Which is the way 90% of the population live. Did I mention she was very shy? When she left because I had to close business, serious health reasons which meant letting go all my other help. She left age of 24 n went to work for a Photography studio owned by a friend. She owned New car. I made her, YES MADE her buy a home, which her dad had hired an idiotic home inspector who could not find a switch to the furnace, he told her and insisted she NOT buy the home.I WENT BULLISTIC said you will buy the home, you will own it even if I have to buy a new furnace!!! I said if you don’t buy it don’t come back to work. Harsh absolutely because I knew she could own her own home at age 22, n no degree.when she was always told save your money get married, buy house etc. and live in your box happily ever after. All I did make her break down the walls, take off the blinders. She bought the house against her fathers will, she closed the appraisal came back $12k more than what she paid..!!! Even more interesting the land was 3acres, frontage rights and dock rights to a lake across the street. Even more amazing prior to this she lived in a 400sq ft loft apt paying or throwing $500 out the door each month, now she pays Principal, Interest, Taxes, Insurance….$475.00 mos..! Oh yeah, she was #1 sales person every year, she now photographs people, weddings etd on her own, won numerous awards and and did….stand up to me,tell me off when or if I needed to be told off! She learned that she could stand up to her Dad as well. She looked within and found changes she needed to make, she sees a 180% now she dropped the blinders, she still has a small corner of that box left. I guess that keeps her in check. All in 6 years,it took me alot longer. I’m a life student of human behavior, studying body language. LASTLY, I am the baby of my family(youngest), interesting the babies of families are USUALLY the ones who are the silliest, funniest, or most daring etc, because after one, two or three kids parents loosen the noose on each new child. The child is usually given a longer lead and usually lesser restrictions than the first kid. SO IF ANY OF THIS FITS U AND U LOVE SOCIOLOGY, a people person, A bit shy, better after people get to know you, and know how to have fun. THEN HAVE FUN IN LIFE, ESPECIALLY WHILE YOU WORK—CAN BE DONE & QUITE LUCRATIVLY AS WELL. Look around—-seek out those 10%percenters……you’ll find the ones who are the happiest at what they do and most likely incredibly WEALTHY financially and personally in life….Example: Bill Gates I did not make this stuff up, I learned secret of success, happiness,and don’t try to reinvent the wheel..! Look around you, look inside then apply it to yourself, take the blinders off, get out of the box. See the world around you as it is and make it into a way which fits you and your needs and happiness will follow. Bill Gates is a college drop out, other millionaires or billionaires never graduated HS….Abraham Lincoln never went to school, Good Fortunes will follow if you look inside yourself,break down barriers hold many back……..:)
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NBEAL
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NC, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)
You have to be one of the most shitest people on earth to go to a website trying to find help. You don’t need help you need jesus.
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lol, jesus is the person/thing/idea i need…
i meant to put a LAST in there…
lol, jesus is the LAST person/thing/idea i need… opps….
I got it anyway ;-)
Have you heard about Jesus, Cracky?
yeah, used to be a Christian.
I had problems with Christianity. It wasn’t so much Jesus’s teachings as it was his groupies.
I have lots of problems with…. organized religion. lol. i am trying to find something that works best for me, but… i dunno yet.
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