life help: I want to be happy like I used to be.

scoobiedo1208

I want to be happy like I used to be.

I am doing not so good on coming out of my depression. It seems like no matter how hard I try there is a day that I have that always brings me down even futher than I was.
I mean like on Sunday my car broke down (fuel pump) but anyways my car is kinda like my baby. Well, my boyfriend is fixing it today, well the thing is he found all this stuff that is going to need to be fixed sometime in the future(its a ‘91 so kinda expected). So, I called my mom and told her and she was just started going off on me its not like I was asking her to pay for it I was just informing her. I can’t help it that i have a passion for older cars, and now i finally have one, so I want everything to be good on it. She started blaming everything on me. Everything that is wrong in her life is all my fault because she had me, or atleast that is what she said. So, now I feel as though everything that is wrong with everyone’s life is my fault in some way or another. I keep thinking that I only I would have done this differently, if only I had said this and not that. If I had be here and not there. I know that I can’t change the past and my future depends on my actions today. Am I just trying so hard to be happy that it is bring me down? I feel so guilty whenever I do something for myself, like buy a little treat or take a little time for myself, i could always be doing something else, making someone else happy. Sorry this is kinda long, i got a little carried away. Does anyone have any advise? My mom know she does this kinda thing and that it makes me more depressed everytime, but she still does it, I have talked to her about it several times.

This open post was written 2 years, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 290, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post scoobiedo1208 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. scoobiedo1208 is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 8 months and has 17 posts and 330 replies to their name.

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happiness, life, matter, Thought, mom, depression (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 2 years, 5 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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scoobiedo1208 changed the tags on this post: they were "automobile, happiness, life, Sunday, infant, Expected value, matter, Coming out, Pump, Thought, mom, depression" 2 years, 5 months ago.

Help me with: I just got accepted to a very accredited school of nursing, but I can’t decide if I want to go or not.

gertiegirl #
Lawrence, KS, US | 2 years, 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

Are you seeking medical help for your depression? That is very important to help yourself feel better. And as for your mother. You can’t let people’s bad and harmful words hurt. I know she is your mother, but if she was good to you she would never say those types of words to you. My favorite say in the world is “ain’t nobody going to hold me down!” and I mean it. Life is too wonderful to let people ruin it for you. And yeah, things happen that are uncontrolable, but there is one good thing, it will more than likely always work out somehow and you can control the way you view the situation. So your car broke down, its old. But now you will have all of this stuff done to it that will make it run like a champ and it should be awhile until you have to do more. Good luck and keep on a keepin’ on, its so worth it!!!

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gertiegirl #
Lawrence, KS, US | 2 years, 5 months ago (8 minutes after post)

PS I am in a BA nursing program and I love it!! Good luck!

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Richard Cor de Lyon 20 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 5 months ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

Sounds like you know what to expect from your mom. So, the question is, if you know she is going to berate you, make you feel like an idiot when you talk to her … why talk to her?! Ok… she’s your mom, and you want to be nice… ok… call and say hi, and when she starts to berate you like always, just say… ohhhh I’m sorry mom, I am cooking something on the stove … and I have to go get it before it burns… I’ll talk to you later … bye! The point… YOU are the one in control of you. You LET YOUR MOM BERATE YOU…why?!.

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brendanfreel 1 #
Istanbul, 34, TR | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 weeks after post)

Yes, I play the “if only” game with myself sometimes too, and I’ve come to think it’s really unhealthy and a waste of time. It’s part of a whole pattern of thinking that keeps me depressed when I’m in a depressed state. I’ve taught myself not to do that most of the time, but slip back into it sometimes. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself, look at the ways you’re telling yourself you’re depressed, and remember that all any of us have is this moment

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tworiversru 0 #
Winnetka, CA, US | 2 years, 3 months ago (1 month, 3 weeks after post)

look inward. not to other people..for your happiness or your misery. just check in with yourself, and feel around in there… if you’re bummed, try and isolate exactly what it is that is bothering you and deal with it and only it. like, one thing at a time.. like a check list. work on trying to heal it.. if you get stumped..its ok..we’re only human.. take a break and try again.. just dont lump everything in together. I was up tonight..confused on the brink of tears… pacing in a dark apt. with my child asleep. and i just cant figure stuff out.. i am stuck… but after much pacing.. and wild thoughts… i just opened up the computer and googled the word ‘help’ and lo and behold here I am! I dunno that I am any clearer on my dilemma.. but it’s not so intense now…and here I am trying to offer help and comfort to you. I guess what Im sayin is we all feel lost at moments..but maybe the key is just to acknowledge it and then try our darndest to to do something about it…even if its just asking for help. p.s. follow ur bliss.

Help me with: help, Please read my posts, I could really use some insight.

fojg #
Dallas, TX, US | 2 years, 3 months ago (2 months after post)

I have the same problem with my 3 sisters. Our mom has alzheimers. Recently, she was in the hospital and began getting really confused. One sis has just been in with her and her pat answer is ” Oh, she’s fine!” in an agitated voice. The other 2 blamed me for not taking her meds to the hospital. Well, DUH, I took her lists of meds to the ER and they dispense.
I think they are in denial, plain and simple. I don’t have time to deal with THEIR issues. I spend as little time as possible with them because I don’t need to be lectured or blamed for complications of her illness. Yes, People think it is sad, but I had to protect myself and my own health.

All you can do is take care of yourself and be your own best friend. If your own family cannot be supportive, find friends who can be.

This sounds corny, but love yourself and love will come to you.

Take care,
Maggie in Texas

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I want to be happy like I used to be.

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