Love help: the love of my life is getting married. - Help.com

I think that he will look towards his true feelings when the time comes. His pressure from others can only get him so far, then love will take over. If he truely loves you and you guys are meant to be together, it will happen….

Hi Dear,
Dont forget one thing if u r in love…
“Love Always Means Giving”

if he loves u he will return to his mind and choose the right way bu u should sure that he loves u that the important thing and if he go far of u u should forget him and go ahead dont see back

if he gets married to another girl,because his parents decide that is stupid and going back to the stoneage,for me he is a wimp and he doesnt deserve you, look for some else ….

This is an arranged marriage in the Middle East?

In rom coms you sit at home on the wedding day then you decide no ive got to do something and then you and your mate leg it to the church and burst in just at the right moment to stop the wedding and said love realises their mistake.

This rarely works in real life.

You should talk with him in honestly way . He should fight for his love & not give it up for friends & family because . You should took with him in a serious way . He have some issues with his personality .. sorry to say that but he need to fight for you because you love him so much & you worth fighting for

i’m 25. he says he has made up his mind and he will do what is the right thing to do(and that is getting married) even if he has to fight with the feelings for me. the thing is that i really don’t believe anymore that love will win finally because i know a lot of cases when people are really stupid and finally gave up their love.
i want to belive that if he really loves me he will do the right thing but i am so confused now. last time we talked he said he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore because it is only making us both suffer.
should i only wait to see and hope that our love is enough or should i do something, (but i don’t know what).

I don’t understand why he ‘has to get married’. But if you think he really loves you, then go to him and tell him not to get married. If it’s true that he loves you, then he won’t marry that other woman. If he does marry her, then he is not worthy of you. Go and find someone better than him. I know it’s not possible to let go of someone you love just like that, but it’s his fault for chosing someone else over you. You deserve someone better. You probably think that you will never be able to love someone other than him, but that is stupid because if you could fall in love with him in the first place, you can fall in love with someone else the same way.
So go and sort this out with him. Tell him to make up his mind, it really is that simple. If he still decides to marry, then forget about him. Go on a trip or something, meet someone new, and please don’t stop believing in love. (Please don’t think I’m preaching, because I am very unhappy in love but still I believe it will come some day). You deserve to be happy. Whatever he decides, at least you won’t be in suspense any more.

Got no comments on this because i am not the right person..u know what i am a guy and i am in a same situvation..but here the girl is getting married by her parents
and she just loves me madly…for her i am all…but for me ,my mind is swinging like hell..i never wanted to be a part of love mariiage as the family which i have bought is complety different…Unfortunatly we are from different religion,state and my parents are also very sad…what i will say is that he is not bold enough just like me…somthing is fearing him…may be its your backgorund,may be he is not able to be repsonbile and leave away whatever he is enjoyin,may be money problem,may be your phsical appearance..ask him why he is not intrested…if he says somthing try to releive him with what all you can tell him to wipe away his fears…
If u ask me do i love her ,i really dont know..but her tears are penetrating tru my heart…sometimes i hate myself…i wish i could madly in love with her so that i dont have to think twice to take her with me for my life…
if it doesn’t work,then he is not supposed to be yours…whatever i understood from my life is sometime you wont get what u really want..no matter what u try…all the best take care..everything wil be fine…

(email removed)

Well. All I can say is he is free to make his own decisions, even if it doesn’t look that way. If he is allowing something else to override his desire to be with you, than he desires that thing more than to be with you.

honestly, i’ve been here. there was someone i cared for for a long time, and he was in a relationship. he’d too tell me that he loved me and that it was only a matter of time before he broke up with this girl…next came the engagement, and more professions of his love for me and not for her. An actual excuse came from them buying furniture together and him not wanting to leave because he wouldn’t know what would belong to him!

2 months before the wedding, he said he still loved me but was afraid that pulling out of the wedding would embarass his family, her family and friends, etc. and hurt her beyond measure, but that he knew if his marriage didn’t work it was because of his “love” for me…Let me tell you, when a man would rather hurt YOU beyond measure by telling you that although he “loves” you, he doesn’t want to hurt SOMEONE ELSE by being with you, that man DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Take it from someone who knows, get out of the situation fast because that guy is just messing with your emotions. If he truly loved you, he would have never proposed in the first place. And you bet he wouldn’t be getting married. He just wants to have his wedding cake and eat it too.

You are NOT a fall back. You will find someone who is worthy of your love, not some scared little boy who wants to make sure someone will be there for him if his marriage doesn’t work out.

i have to admit, i’ve become a bitter cynic when i hear of situations like this. as i’ve gotten older, i’ve been surprised at the number of people i’ve known who’ve gotten married to people they don’t really love. (i say these b/c these people actually are not happy, and have never really been satisfied, with the relationship/future spouse when they chose to marry). unfortunately, i’ve learned, life isn’t fair, love doesn’t always conquer all, and sh*t happens.

it’s difficult, i know. my parents taught me that it takes two people to make a marriage/relationship; and one to break it. this is out of your hands, and you should start trying to move on- occupy your mind w/ s/thing else other than this man and impending marriage.

whenever i see this situation now (people marrying b/c of parental expectations; b/c they’re in co-dependent relationships; b/c they want an empty, boring vessel of a spouse who will be easy to deal with; b/c they’re scared of dying alone, etc) -my attitude to this has become, “if you want to contract yourself into a miserable existence, that’s your fault and your problem- not mine.” in my experience, these people that i’ve known and kept in touch who have trapped themselves in these situations never seem truly happy with their relationships.

the only thing i think you should do is concentrate on yourself. if you really want to win him back, work on self improvement and that will make you more attractive to him.

what else could you possibly do? you can’t force him to be with you, nor should you want to. he knows how you feel - you’ve done all you reasonably can. anything more will either make him associate you with (a) making him feel guilty; (b) making him feel resentful; (c) being overwhelming and he’ll just not want to deal with you. work on yourself. if he wants to cancel the marriage- he knows you will be there waiting. good luck.

hi Tcarrot2
thank you for your answer. i understand you. i think that i will be exactly in your situation after cuple of years. i don’t have any hope right now that he won’t go on with the wedding. and i am sure that his relationship with that girl will not last because i know he doesn’t love her enough. but he doesn’t realize that doing this thing now, he will hurt me so bad that i don’t know if i will be able to get over it when he will be back.
i know that it’s only a piece of paper and you don’t have to stay married but after yi\ou do the step it will only be more complicated.
i believe that now this is a moment when you have to be really strong and to do what you want to do.
imagine that you will get married but you will never forget him and never be happy. maybe, eventually you both will find a way to get back together and meet. because your love in to strong to be over. so why complicate thins now even more with a marriage that will not make you happy. your kids will grow and in 10-15 years, after the time you have dedicated to your family, you will find youself unhapyy. i think life is too short. and you both already wasted a lot of precious time being scared of your feelings for each other and running away from your love.
i wish my love will realize that too, before its too late.

I think maybe this man may have learned that his wants and needs are to be sacrificed for those of others. He may not understand this, and may feel he “must” do this, even if he’s truly in love with you. If that’s the case, you might tell him he’s being an idiot, and let him know the relationship with him is important to you. I know, he’s engaged and all, but if he is the type of man I’ve described above, he may need a reason to question why he should sacrifice the relationship he wants. You know the situation better, so that’s your call.

If he is as I’ve speculated, forgive the idiot right now, and never forget that he was not born with a self-sacrificing nature, he was taught that. He may have no idea why he feels he “has” to do this, but he is likely to figure out one day, and he’ll be kicking himself for letting go of what he wanted.

Of course, I could be wrong about the situation, but I’ve heard enough to suggest this might be the case.