friends help: How do I handle him? - Help.com

if it were me, i would act like his friend. i am very non-confrontational.

is it painful to be around him

Just act so casual & try not to be alone with him , make him always make the first step but also don’t be rude with him , show him how confident & classy .He might try to upset you by his current girlfriend but don’t let him get you & remember you are there to have fun so whenever you feel that you will lose your nerve just breath ten time & you will be fine. Believe me this will work … GO ON girl & have fun :)

I think since it is a visit and he is not the person you are visiting, then you do not need to care for him, you can be formal to him, try to avoid him.

If it really bothers you a lot after your visit, you can try to arrange a meeting with him to finally have a closure, if you are able to meet him on a separate occasion and tell him how you feel, that might help you formulate a solution based on his reaction and your feelings. Good luck dear.

Crackhacky is right. Be yourself, be friendly, but try not to get into a big hassle or anything. If a moment comes up when you two can speak to one another nicely, try to get the closure that you need. But for your sake, just try so hard to keep it light. Good luck…..
Moonmaiden

er, i’ve never broken up with anyone (actually, i’ve never had a boyfriend either, but i digress) but, i would reccomend that if he seems uncomfortable around you or iffy, then just apologize about what happened and admit that you are uncomfortable too. if he is cool with you being over, then enjoy yourself. if he is being all like “i got a NEW BETTER girlfriend who KICKS YOUR LITTLE SISSY BUTT!!” then brush him off. unless you think he is trying to make you jealous. then resort to method A (talk it over with him) sorry if this is waaaaay too confusing, but maybe it’ll work

Keeping it bottle up inside, it’s going to make it come out sooner or later. There are things that you just can’t help.

What would be good closure for you?

I’ll be direct.

Sounds like you’re trying to relieve your own guilt. If that’s the case, sit right there and imagine talking to him. Picture a scene where you’re together with him, then start off by saying, “I feel guilty because…”

What you imagine isn’t necessarily what you would say to him, you’re just feeling out your emotions.

If and when you do talk to him, avoid saying relationship-continuation statements like, “I never stopped loving you.” If that’s really true, then you’re still in love with him, and we should be having a different conversation.

Generally speaking, it’s a good idea to be to-the-point. “I hope we can be friends and not have this awkwardness between us,” is to the point. That’s a good one. Are you being honest with yourself about what you want?

I was in a relationship where I didn’t particularly like myself and my b/f got so frustrated with me when ever I brought it up. He dumped me and I’m pretty sure it’s because we had lots of arguments over my self esteem. After that we fought a lot for the next few weeks and I kept on saying bad **** about myself to make him feel bad. Eventually we stopped talking for a while and it was so weird whenever we were around each other and we could still kinda feel the hate we felt from when we fought.

Now, I have a new and wonderful b/f who makes me feel great! Sure, I’m still a little awkward around my ex, but I don’t care about what he did anymore, because of b/f. Because he makes me feels good and I don’t care about what happened anymore.

Maybe, just ask him if he still cares first, about the break up. If he still does after all this time, then he is denying himself something! You can’t be bitter for 2 years and not be in denial about something. Maybe there’s a reason why his g/f gets uptight whenever youtwo are around each other?

Gotcha.

One woman, only one, out of at least six who ditched me in ugly ways, ever apologized to me about how she broke up with me. We went to the same university, and she stopped her car as she was driving by about 2 weeks after she left a bar with another man (an old flame). She waved me over, looked me in the eye and sincerely said, “I’m sorry.”

That’s all she had to say, we both know why she was sorry.

I immediately felt respected, and respected her for that. My feelings mattered. I smiled, nodded, and said sincerely back, “Thank you.”

I went my way, she went hers, no regrets, no hanging on.

Instant closure.

Hey just chill out and let everything flow, don’t sit and waste your time with trying to deal with him, have fun with your friend and relax. :)