life help: I’m so tired of feeling good and then watching everything crash down around me. - Help.com

why do you shut down, what happened?

I don’t even really know why I shut down this time. I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I didn’t believe it at first, but now I think I do. I just got done being really high and happy and I feel like I’m crashing. I am trying to just be happy and ignore it and not let myself crash, but I don’t really know how. Today I was talking to my friends and I was trying to be happy but then they asked me about something that was not happy so I just tried to not talk about it but it just made them frustrated and angry and then when they got angry I just couldn’t talk anymore. I don’t handle anger well. It scares me.

1) are you following a medical treatment?

2) I think you need to see a counselor to help you manage to go thru those hard days.. I’m sure they have exercises and experience about it. Are you doing that?

also regarding your friends, if they treat you in that way when they notice that you are scared then they are not real friends, they are just idiots that you shouldn’t worry about.

Your health is the most important thing and your friends should be supportive when they see you down.. even if they don’t really know why it happens.

I am taking medication. I am taking a class to help me learn to control my emotions better. It helps some and at least I am not getting suicidal anymore or self harming, I just don’t handle relationships well when I start to crash. I think I am more sensitive then usual and I just don’t want to talk too much about serious stuff because I don’t want to cry about stupid stuff.

Oh my friends are awesome. They didn’t know I was scared or anything. They were just trying to help me deal with some stuff and I didn’t handle it well. They are the best friends a person could ask for. And I’m trying so hard to just stay happy, they don’t know that I am getting pretty down. My friends will be leaving town soon and I will miss them a lot and I think that plays into things, but it also is a reason I don’t want to screw things up since I don’t want their visit to end badly.

oh that’s really good then.. well I don’t know if it’s a good advice but since your friends seem to be really nice ppl, maybe you should consider telling them about it, if they have a little understanding, maybe they will help reducing the stress when you crash.. they will know how to handle it better.

Yeah, you are right. I just didn’t want to tell them because I don’t want to believe I am getting down. I guess I figure that if I say I am getting down, that might make me get even more down and I don’t want that. I want to pretend I am still happy.

Oh, that’s also true.. mmm .. well then maybe at least you should tell to your best best friend.. but make clear to him that when that happens you don’t want babysitters.. but you just preffer to just have a good time…

Additionally, I think it should be good to find useful new activities, like going to a Gym, or learning some martial arts, or just going out, getting a pet, learning to play the guitar.. things that will give you more and more reasons to feel happy, even when there’s no much ppl around..

maybe even you can fill your room with posters of movies you like, cartoons, you know positive stuff.. to help you cheer up since the moment you wake up

Other Anonymous-I think I will tell my friends why I was being so stupid. They are totally trustworthy and don’t treat me like an idiot or a baby and they always help me when I actually talk to them and tell them what is going on, I just have a hard time doing that. You are right that I need to find more activities, I have a few things going on, but having more would be good. I have the coolest, prettiest room ever, filled with arts and crafts and stuff so that does cheer me up. Thanks for your help :)

Cookies and Cream- You are so smart my friend. Time for me to work on getting back up now that I know I am down. I think you are right that people get uncomfortable because I am always on edge about driving them away. I’m always trying to figure out the right way to say things that wont get people upset and it just isn’t helpful because people want to know what I’m really thinking. Thanks for helping :)
I am 24

I have to get going but thank you both for all of your help. It really helped me clear my mind and think straight :)

Take care :D

Some people believe that pretending can make it real. One of my conselors told a fable of a man who pretended to be a prince. He pretended so well and so long that when some one who knew him before he was prince finally revealed the truth no one would believe him. The moral of that seems to be wear the mask that shows you are happy and one day you will be that mask.
That said I personally believe you must be honest, but choose carefully who gets the full picture. True friends will not enable a pity party but encourage you and support your efforts to be strong. They will not judge you as weak when you cry. They will try to help you find happiness when you are low. They will be with you when you can’t be alone. They will be happy to see you no matter how you feel. They will want you to achieve the best for yourself.
I don’t know you but from what I read you want to feel better for yourself. Just knowing you want that puts you on the path toward that. Every step you take toward that goal doesn’t just bring you closer. It actually brings that goal to you. Even if only for a moment.
It sounds like you are on the right path with your goals, treatment, friends, and counseling. Six months ago I began a habit of praying daily in conjunction with reading from a book entitled, “God Calling.” I have achieved several things in the past months that I avoided during the previous years. Perhaps talking with a minister could add a new dimension to your stability.
Also your physical health can affect you emotions. Having an exercise routine that you can stick with no matter how you feel might also add to your feelings of well being.

y do u think of it that way?
(give me a shout out!)

Sorry i don’t know how to control shouts too well. I don’t understand your question. I believe all I expressed reflects hopeful positive sentiment. We all deserve the best for ourselves. No matter what problems we have, what errors we make, no matter what is in our pasts we deserve the best for ourselves.
We can all enrich each other and in so doing ourselves. What ever good you put out there will come back to you.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice jmhms9. My friends are actually exactly what you described as true friends. Because of my past I tend to not trust people to stick around very long and my friends are such awesome people but I still tend to think they will give up on me as a friend after a while. They consistently reassure me that they aren’t going anywhere, but it’s pretty stuck in my head that they are going to leave. I even dream about it. It’s definitely something I need to work on. I do go to church and the pastor is awesome and we email back and forth talking about anything and he helps me a lot. I definitely need to work on my physical health. I am trying to get in a habit of actually getting exercise, but I am not very good at it lol You seem like a wonderful and wise person and I really appreciate your help.