girl help: whenever i walk past the girl I like i get a very strong sad feeling because i don’t have enough courage to ask her out. - Help.com

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stop walking by girls.

seriously though… this sounds like a case of extra shyness??

You need to do something to help you deal with your shyness.

well… I am still a little shy (very little), but when I was your age, I would get myself almost feeling sick I was so shy. Then I got into acting… on stage. The stage requires you to be vulnerable… if you can be vulnerable to an audience of 100 people… you can be vulnerable to one girl.

well… this is something that has to come from deep inside you. You need to have the confidence to overcome your shyness. What is it that you are the very best at?

wow… I never heard of an athlete being that shy. I thought the girls all loved you guys. Anyway…. that is the source of your power.. your confidence. When you are out on the field, yes you have a team behind you, but your own power is what gets you through it. You have the power to indure what ever it is you need to do to win. Tap into that same power to bring yourself to talk to her. I know it’s not the same thing… you don’t want to attack her like she was the goal… but use the power that you use on the field… just tone it down to be a gentleman… not an athlete.

well… if it’s a school function…..like a school dance.. yes you could just ask her out… “hey you want to go with me to the dance?”

If it’s just you and her… friday night out… maybe a little subtle first. Yes … a group date is best at first to get to know her better, and she can get to know you. Depending on how that goes… a regular date is not too far behind.

a group date by the way… could be as small as a double date. But if it’s a double date… it has to be with one of HER girlfriends… not one of your buddies.

that’s for a couple of reasons… so she can feel more comfortable having a friend with her…AND you want to get to know her friends and be in good terms with them… they can be very valuable later :)

Excellent… have they told you anything??? About how she might feel?

ahhh ok…

Now I want to talk how you can do this… you are afraid of the rejection… the crash and burn is really a tough one… and that’s ok.. believe me all of us are. AND it never goes away. I’m 47, and still have to overcome it every time. Being divorced w/3 kids on the dating scene is no fun. Anyway… before you play a game to “play” that game in your mind? Or before you do something important… like have to talk to your parents… do you have that conversation in you mind first?

do you ever daydream about winning the game BEFORE you play it?

ok… that’s called visualization… and it works with anything… talking to your parents…. playing a game… asking a girl out on a date. SEE in your MIND yourself winning BEFORE you actually do it. It’s like running a practice on life!

yep

just like you might do for a game… the same principle works with EVERYTHING. Rehearse it in your mind first.

well… I think it might be easier for you if she is alone when you talk to her first (you wont have her friends hanging about, especially any of the ones that are not to be trusted)… but you also want to make it a public place, the the cafe. or something like that. If she’s with her friends, you can ask to talk with her alone… for a minute… and take her a few steps away from her friends.

well… I gotta go… 4:30am comes pretty quickly these days. gotta work tomorrow… thanks courtney, nice to know :)
~Richard

ok heres what you do. walk up to her but not from behind. never from behind. it makes it look like you have snuck up on her. say to her that your friend is a psychic and has taught you a trick and would it be ok if you tried it on her. hold out your hands and ask her to put hers in yours, then ask her to pick a number between 1 and 10, as she is thinking tell her she has nice hands, ask her if she has picked the number and then say something like; now look into my eyes and think only of that number, then say; im getting a strong feeling that it could be the number 7? its not always the number 7 but often is. if it is she will be amazed if not say oh well never mind atleast i got to hold your hand. :) rock on dude

redstar, I like it…I was gonna come in with a long discusion about the roots of shyness, and how it is actually a selfish thing, yada yada yada..but I think I really like this thing you have said..really like it, on a lot of levels…

St.P, everything Rich said is true, but if you do exactly what Red says, and you get no positive response, then you’ll know she is not for you.

Dammit, I love this suggestion.

You have 2 options,

#1. Walk on past and love her from a distance and risk someone else with courage taking her or…
#2 You can gather up your courage and talk to her. All she can say is yes or no. But if you don’t try, you will never know.

Practice makes perfect. Youi can do it. You are good enough, and if it don’t work out in your favor, then just know that you tried and it wasn’t meant to be.

Hope this helps encourage you to go for the gusto!

what can i say Akslogistic. im kind of good. lol. with this though you just have to be relaxed. shyness comes form the fear of failur but there is no such thing as failure. failure is the best way of learning and there for it is a learning tool and so not a failure at all. be the alpha male dude.

do it. do it within 3 seconds of seeing her as well other wise you will think about it too much and you wont do it.