shout help: I’m here. - Help.com

Are you feeling ok?

Right here, princess.

Talk.

What’s going on? We can take it one at a time.

What did he tell them?

So, he told your boss, your mother and your brother that you are a hooker and of those three, only your boss will talk to you?

Sweetheart, I can promise you there is no NY attitude coming at you right now. I only want to understand what happened and it is difficult for me to do so when you chop up your sentences and avoid answering questions directly.

So he knows that you are unhappy and that you want out and read all the emails you’ve been writing to C. I get it now.

Did he say anything to you directly?

Hey. I’m here. How about setting up a temp email?

Okay, girl, deep breath. My personal opinion is that he is angry, possibly dangerous and completely full of ****. On what basis, may I ask, does he assume that he has rights to sell you? Forgive me if I’ve missed something. And did he not tell you that if you were having an affair (no, I am not saying you are) he would be more than happy to let you out? You don’t need him - I will do everything I possibly can to try and prove that to you.

Me? 13? Ooooh, if that’s to me, well I know it’s supposed to be insulting but that’s a nice thing to hear when you’re a 32-year-old Mommy :)

Darn, Oster always gets those!

Depends on the lawyer.

Oh, yeah I’m actually 15.

Sure is a vindictive. As far as legal matters, make a record, at least write down what’s happening in a journal.

Well, if you wanted to get into technical legality issues about the hacking, you would need a lawyer. Then he would get a lawyer and they would fight it out.

15 is totally overated anyway,

.

(instead of that random comma up there)

Who’s “they”?

And 15 is fine — you’re just jealous, A.

Your boss?! How’s your boss involved in your personal life?

And your boss asked you not to email him?

I am sooooo not jealous.

Girl, you must stop allowing people to make decisions for you. You know what you want and you can get it. I’m about to get nasty so just slap me if I get carried away. But I know what it’s like to be the suffering martyr who takes the “easy” way out and I see you falling into there. It’s not a good place at all.

Don’t know. I sent an email with the thread url.

Do you have friends you can go to?

I refuse to sit back and allow a friend of mine to get hit and not fight back. Get a grip girl. He is an absolute *******, had no right to do what he did and your family and boss have reactions with much to be desired.

No one is standing up for you because they don’t see you standing up for yourself.

Hiding from him and drowing in the pain will not end it. You need to get up and tell him to f*** himself. Were you right in doing what you did? That doesn’t really matter right now. What matters is that you both are not happy and it’s an absolute waste to be staying together just to hurt each other. I am not saying that you will get to that point tonight. I know it is hard. For now you need to get somewhere safe where you can be away from him and have time to collect your thoughts. In my opinion, the next time he hears from you should be through your lawyer anyway.

Can you give me one good reason why not?

And the rats won’t be around long.

Ok, what he’s doing is over-the-top, and he’s excusing his behavior by saying it’s because he cares. Sheesh.

It’s a farily simple abuse pattern, actually. Isolate the woman, turn her family against her and play the wounded husband. I’ve seen it so many times and it kills me to think that he is getting away with it.

You deserve so much better and you **** well know it. Why are you continuing to punish yourself?

What I was saying is that you file for divorce.

For tonight I want you to try and think of anyone you trust that you can go to. If not, then figure if a hotel is possible.

You cannot go back to him because he is only going to make you feel worse. You need to spend time away from his manipulating behaviour so you can think clearly.

Giiiirl, find a cheap one. A motel, something, anything. Climb in through someone’s window and pretend you’re Goldilocks :)

But you are not sleeping in that office and you cannnot go home.

*sigh* It will be worse if you go home. He’ll expect you to be more obedient now that he’s properly punished you for the bad little girl you are. Ugh! He probably saw from the start you’d have a difficult time leaving him. Is he SL as well?

You can file for divorce in whatever state you are legally living in. Is there a women’s shelter you can go to?

Your family has been just as manipulated as you. I know it isn’t easy to think of it like that but for your peace of mind, it’s best that you do. Don’t waste energy hating them as well, try your best to give them the benifit of the doubt and be open to forgiving them if they ask for it. If they see the truth, and want to help you, I swear I will scream bloody murder if your stubborn pride gets in the way.

lol And at least you know you can come to ATL.

Yes, the beautiful rain…

Erf. The family thing is an issue as well. Very strict with gender-roles, from what I’ve heard. I get the feeling it’s like they were just waiting for something to go wrong so they could justify their own values and beliefs.

I won’t argue with you if you don’t want to hear but know that wherever you are in the world, you will probably hear my screaming soon. Oster, whatever zone you’re in, you will probably go deaf.

I HATE it! I hate that you can see the world for what it is, see how unfair discrimination has been to you, see how he has no reason to hurt you, see how you deserve so much more and still choose to fall back on the easy path. The path where “that’s just the way it is and I’ll live with it”.

You’re like one step forward, two steps back. You reach out for help and then convince yourself that you don’t really need it. Well guess what? You do.

Okay, okay, I promised you that I would shut up so shut up I will.

*earplugs* I’m with you all the way, A.

Here.

Siiiiiiighhhh.

(You deserve it, O, for being 15.)

I think maybe you’ve hit that point where you’ve accepted that all you’ve done to gain their approval, against what you’ve wanted for yourself, still does not gain their approval. Perhaps this is your kick into the western world?

Okay, I got my little girl awake now for her meds so I am going to take care of her. I don’t know that I will get back on here tonight but I will check again in the morning.

I love you girl and I wish you could see the amazing friend and woman that I see when I think of you.

Take care of yourself or You Know What.

G’night Oster, pleasant dreams.

Night, A. :-)

Yes. And it sure sounds more to your taste than SL.

Well, you’re physically in the west, but you’re bound to SL culture.

No friends around?

Can you report your own post to have it removed?

Click on the red flag thingee by your non-anonymous post and ask it be removed to preserve your anonymity?

I agree. I think this has been a long time coming, and SL culture is just a cage for you. You’ve a Western heart.

You can talk to whoever you want.

HART?

As in Homeless Animals Rescue Team?

Heart?

Ah. No word yet, and I wasn’t privy to much, so I can’t say.

It’s a possibility.

“Old hag” was a name used to try to make you think you had no choice — that you were lucky for what you had, and you should be grateful for the abuse.

Plan on leaving, but it doesn’t sound like your sure about the western heart.

Can you make it on your own?

You have your own money?

You still have to be smart about practical matters. Possibly play along until you have independent security. I think hart may be getting too much, too fast, so best not to count on that.

You do have the right to call 911, but security should be enough. Security will call police if necessary. Generally, call 911 if there is an immediate emergency, such as physical threat or violence.

How’s your thesis?

Ok, yes. That’s ok to call 911. Did you file a complaint with police?

Not sure. Did they write anything down?

Ok, sounds like something’s on file. Should the police be involved again, say you would like to file a complaint. There’s some obvious cultural differences with western law, but I believe precedence is given to the country you are in. Is hb a citizen?

http://www.canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps…

Better:

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf…

Click PDF link for H72-131/1995E (2006) (2nd publication in list).

“If you are the dependent of a refugee or a person in need
of protection who is in the process of applying for permanent
residence for both of you, he can withdraw the application. In
this case, you can apply for permanent residence on humanitarian
and compassionate grounds.”

What a day.

Hehe. I think you’ve been isolated way too long.

I’ll be up a while longer, and will otherwise check in tomorrow.

I’d shift everything; new email, account, etc. Isolation is a method of control used to abuse, no matter the cultural justification.

I don’t know how. Maybe browser history and saved login/passwords, maybe a keylogger.

Okay, don’t know where you are girl but I’ll be on and off if you need me.

Bushy tail? Moi?

Mon dieu :)

Hi all.

Stephen, yes.

Hey Oster. I think I must have missed something. Catch y’all later.

Hey girl, you out there?

Okay, as long as you are safe then I can breathe. Please let me know when you can talk again. Lots of love.

Talk to us.

What’s going on girl?