Different than other people…
…yep, that’s what I am, and it’s causing me problems!
Apparently I’ve always been a little too serious for my age. I went to school earlier than other kids. I was always the youngest one there, but I felt so much older. Today I hardly even hang out with people my age. My friends are about two or three years older, and I still feel much older and more serious than them. The normal topics that come up in conversation don’t interest me at all. I get irritated by how trivial things are that occupy most people. It’s getting harder and harder to talk to people since I find most of them BORING. Maybe my interests are just too specific. But I can’t seem to care about gossip, make-up, the news, ‘college stuff’, food, TV, basically 90% of conversation. And nobody wants to talk about more serious things. This is not fun. Sometimes I can’t believe that people can care about and enjoy in things that I find to be so stupid and worthless of my attention. Some people think I’m a snob and they might be right.
Is the problem in me or is it in the world? Or both? We might just be incompatible…
So help, I have no one to talk to! My ‘more serious’ friends left town to go to their homes. My friends from grade school are already a pain to hang out with even though I still love them. We just have no more interests in common. I also stopped hanging out with a bunch of other people last year that I used to spend every day with. Honestly, there is no one here that I feel comfortable around.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to do, it’s just that all my activities (all the things I enjoy in) are things I do alone. Someone might suggest a change of scenery. Well, I can’t move out of this town for at least a year now cause of college. And I don’t believe things would be better somewhere else. Any ideas?
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its good that your serious, but mayb you are to serious. try meditating or go ot a spa and relax. like clear your mind
Let loose and just have fun no matter how silly or pointless they are.
it’s good to be serious and mature- the world needs more people like that. however, you can’t be serious all the time. everyone needs to unwind and just generally have some fun. if you try not to think about how the trivial topics “don’t interest you”, and just go with the flow, you might find that simple conversations aren’t that bad.
It’s not that I’m incapable of having conversations (or having fun). I do have fun (sometimes, haha). I just need to find people to share the serious stuff with.
What we have here is another Albert Einstein! You don’t need other people to make you happy do you?
I’ve often felt the same way. Even around people near to my own age, those in their mid 20’s, I find we aren’t always on the same page. It can be a challenging situation in which to find oneself, but you are the type of person that the world certainly needs. It is all well and good for 90% of the world’s people to occupy themselves with trivialities, but it is the other 10% who are the the builders, the movers, the artists, the leaders, and the visionaries who provide the light by which all the others may see.
There are undoubtedly other such “serious” people in college, so perhaps you just need to find them. I often found that many of the most “motivated” persons were involved in student government or resident life; however, I assume this may vary from college to college. If you’re simply not finding them, perhaps try transferring to a bigger school or more bohemian community. I know it’s a year off, but at least that’ll give you some time to mull over your options. Good luck!
PS. I know that it’s a less attractive alternative than having actual coffee with a blue-eyed Japanese boy, but feel free to share some of your more “serious” thoughts on here. I’ve noticed that this site attracts a very diverse group of users, all of whom have unique perspectives, so perhaps it could provide a temporary outlet while you seek a real-world solution.
Kanna,
I can relate to this a little bit. I always called myself “not the typical girl” I hated conversations about boys, make up, fashion, stupid tv shows, etc. I remember putting up with all that just so I could get out of my house. And for some reason we always ended up at the mall :/
I always seem to have more fun with guys (umm, not in the bad way or the good way — however ya wanna look at it) but because even tho they were fun they didn’t seem to concentrate on trivial things.
My first year of college my roommate was a typical boy-crazed, make-up loving, annoying person who wanted to major in Spanish and move to LA to get involved with the Hollywood scene. That was fun when she introduced me to her friends (who had an off campus apartment) I had no desire to be around any of them.
I have about two close friends right now that have the same interests as me. One I met in High School and the other is a neighbor. Everyone else seems to be just acquaintances more then they are friends.
I don’t have a big bunch of advice for you except to say that in my opinion you are not too serious and you are just fine. It does suck when you just don’t seem to find people like yourself.
*hugs*
there is nothing wrong with you ,you are a indivisiual person and that is very rare, most people are followers,follow this,follow that,look at the great writers of
today,loners,they can have as many friends as they want, but they prefer to do things alone,musicians the same,but all it takes is discipline and thats what you have ,all you have to find out, what you want out of life and i guarantee you now on this page you will succeed ,may the great force be with you!!
To diff is my problem as well, I guess we grew up to fast you prob. been through things were you were required to mature. or been through bad things, opening a more serious outlook. I used to be mr. happy… not any more.
Third time is a charm.
The fingers I use to type with are outraged at the inability to post a reply. The General public are more or less sheep, doin what someone tells them to. I can see through them and get a better picture of what I am…(more so not). At times I have run into deep thinkers, who are not zombies, and those enchanted events are made even more blessed by the rarity of their occurance.
what gets me are the psuedo-dreamers, who poison those beautiful moments with lies and less-than-profound philosophies.
Haha I doubt that I’ll be the next Einstein, I’m not that into physics… if anything I might be a writer but I have to sort out my life first. All of you have given me some great comments and I know I’ll be reading them again. Especially about growing up too fast and bad things happening that forced it. I forgot what else I was going to write.
No, I don’t need other people to make me happy but I’m not some beast that can live completely alone. I need people to share more complicated thoughts with, the kind that can understand them.
hello kanna….i am in your boots as im typing this….im 18 and ive been through ALOT of downs in my family. my parents divorced when i was 10 and i had to make the decision of who i was going to stay with, my mum, who lives an hour and a half away by plane, or was i going to stay with my father. i chose to stay with my father because i felt very sympathetic for him as my sisters chose to stay with my mum. four years later i had to live with my dad getting re-married with out him even consulting me. anyways, what im trying to say is that people are forced to outgrow themselves and continue growing with every new experience which unfolds. i personally believe that people like us are here for a true reason, to be leaders, and not followers. so consider yourself lucky becuase you are here for a reason, its your destiny to do something great..not sure if any of this makes sense, but its very late here in australia and im tired…
Yeah, it makes sense… although I didn’t go through things like you did. My ‘traumas’ were more internal because I’ve always kept to myself and my own thoughts until I ended up hating the world and people (ah, around the sweet age of 16) and thinking that everything is pointless, but now I’m trying every second of the day to fix that. Ideas are nice, but I need to be more in touch with the world. I don’t see myself as a leader because my life has no purpose (and I don’t mean this in the depressed/overly dramatic sense, I mean that I don’t have a goal or anything, I’m not like a soldier in an army, leading an expedition to the Amazon or such). I might lead if there was something I cared about. I would lead if there was somewhere to go, haha, I’m actually hoping for something like that some day…
kanna, sooner or later who will realise what your here for…but that goal will not come to you, you have to work it out, work out yourself, and dont be stupid…there is a point to everything, you are here for a reason, and u will do something…just be positive an have an open mind to everything…you will figure it out sooner or later…
PS. I have just figured out the next step in my life, career wise…although it took me almost a year to decide it came to me…so dont give up..
I’m exactly the same way. It’s why I’m an artist but it’s also why I’m depressed. I try to laugh and be carefree but I always find myself rolling my eyes or making catty remarks when friends are chatting. I’ve found that I might expect too much out of my friendships. It’s very hard for me to have simple small talk. I want to know everything about my friends. I want to get very close to them. The thing is…most people don’t like that. I’m an open book but most of my friends are not the same. I feel very different. I don’t usually feel very appreciated but I never have. I guess I’m used to this. I would say try to find one good friend. The only problem with that is…they kind of have to be the same way otherwise you seem clingy or something. I thought my boyfriend was the one I could be serious with but he doesn’t have as much knowledge or patience with deep conversation as say movies or music or film which is interesting but after a while he just seems arrogant. Now I’m alone most often so when I get the chance to be with people I suck it all up. I don’t care what people are talking about. I’m sorry that I probably talked more about myself than helped you but your post just really…opened me up not that it’s a hard thing to do.
Thanks I’m trying not to give up. I just don’t know where to start and I feel like I’m drifting away from reality and receding into myself. I should probably get out of the house more, but everywhere I go I get bored.
I’d like to help. You have seen my respones on the other post. I think it may go back to what I was saying about finding that inner happiness, then the people that you surround yourself with will not be such a pain for you to bear. Check out some Deepak Chopra, very interesting man. I just picked up his book, Power Freedom and Grace. Its a quick read, but in the last 12 hours I feel like a new person.
I can’t blame others for not being as deep as I would like them too be.
Wish I had your strength ;-)
Deepak Chopra? I thought that his books are those self-help thingies, and I am very suspicious towards anything like that. Although I think I did read something of his when I was much younger (13 or so), something about people turning into crows? Ah, memory is such an unreliable friend.
I’m sure this goes back to inner happiness. I’d just wish I wasn’t the one that needed to change, even if it is for my own sake. Am I making any sense at all?
Linda O - I just saw your post. Don’t be sorry for talking about yourself, it’s very reassuring to hear that I’m not the only one with this problem.
By the way I had a fight with a friend today. I sort of snapped at her and it turned out like I didn’t want to spend time with her (and 2 more friends) any more. She’s been my friend for the last 5 or 6 years but we’ve grown up differently and don’t have much in common any more. I feel like an ***hole. We’ll probably make up tomorrow but I kind of don’t want to because that’s like ignoring the problem and there really are problems in our ‘relationship’.
Tell you what, I am going to use myself as an example again.
My friend has done some rough stuff to himself. In the course of a year (8 months) he got his jaw broken by the ex of this girl he was seeing, then he drives home from the bar (drunk of course) and wraps his car around a tree, then not two months after that, his house burns down (noone cleaned the chimeny). Still after his life is starting to level out again, he calls me up and tells me he had been driving drunk again, complains his life how horrible it is, and I had to dig WAY down to not flat out cuss him for all he is worth. You know, I get sick and tired of people doing the same stupid crap all the time, then complain to ME about how bad they got it. But, inspite this, he is still my long time friend, and I still need to help him. It’s hard, I know it is, but people have to be themselves, and we have to accept them for that.
I think you were in the right to tell your friend the truth. Even it is harsh. Maybe you do need alone time. I know I need more alone time than I get, which is about 3 or 4 hours a day. I love to stay up late, and sleep during the day, because I get that quiet time. I need it, and you do too, apparently. There is nothing wrong with that.
I did hang around older people and that’s how I got through the last year but now I sort of ‘broke up’ with all of them to use a very shallow metaphor. And age really doesn’t help that much, I’m gonna be 20 in less than a month, but I’ve been this serious for the last five or so years.
What would you like to talk about?
Hi Kanna,
You’re not different than other people, you just need to find some people that share your interests. If you’re in college then you could join a club based on your interests or try expanding your worldview by trying some new activity. Talking about relationships and makeup can be nice and even therapeutic from time to time (at least for me), but I do see how it will get boring. Don’t ditch your old friends, just try something new and you will be better off in no time:) good luck!
We of all people feel different from others. Everyone is an individual, we are all different people.
If you are in college your seriousness may be a symptom of your concentration on studying. Your just not connectiong with the stuff you used to think was fun anymore, I suspect that your keeping yourself(yourselves?) busy has taken priority over spending time with others.
Why do I suspect a multiples issue here, a kindred spirit(s) problem.
My other personalities tend to make me feel as if they are all I should spend time with, they do it constantly, playing on my emotions. Learn to ignore it. You are in charge of your life, and do need to get out there and be with other people.
I know, I know. I’m just tired of being disappointed in people. (Not saying that the problem is in them, I don’t think the problem is in anyone, it’s just hard for me to stand other people’s boring little trifles when I am always too preoccupied with my own oh-so-much-bigger problems). I think I just don’t fit into the society I’m in.
Lately I’ve stopped going out at all. It’s become too much of a strain to be around other people and pretend I’m happy and normal.
hey vereybody’s different than others. that’s a good thing 2 b unique, that’s wat i believe^^. even if i feel sad n depressed, i always have a smile on my face!!!! ppl can easily make me laugh with no sweat, i’m weird that way, but i’m happy with it. i’ll b more than happy 2 talk 2 u, just wonder if u like 2 talk 2 me, cuz i’m 13 n i might b chidlest haha
so i’ve read through the whole thing… is there any way you aren’t like me? bored with tedious conversation, feel the need to find friends of a higher inteligence, tired of disapointing people (a real people pleaser… always chivilrous and such?) but theres the deal… you aren’t normal… neither are they… but their abnormal in different ways (usualy similar amungst themselves) what you need to do is get over it… who cares if your different if things in life are boring or not quite up to the expectations of a brimming mind as your own, then curse the world for being so, come to terms with the fact that you can’t change the world… or even the people in it… but you can change the way you look at it… instead of seeing every day as a ruitine eyes open… stall for time… eyes close kinduf thing… make it more about meditation and enlightenment… pick a hobby and better yourself through it… who needs other people when you’ve got the world at your fingertips… anything can be in your future really… plan a distant future trip to europe or asia… do something that makes you feel like you have purpose… and screw everything else…
Perhaps you should try talking to an elderly member of the community.
I find sometimes I have more in common with someone decades older than me.
Or maybe the problem isn’t that you’re odd, it’s that you see things the way they really are and others just haven’t caught up yet.
Sometimes it feels like you’re farther away than everyone else’s thoughts, doesn’t it?
I just wanted to say, I’m different than other people too.. But in a different way, that I’m not sure how to explain. But all i can say to help you, is that you should be happy to be different. I am. But sometimes it gets me down. And other people tell me that they like me the most, because I’m different. Which makes me want to be more different than I already am.
Hope it helps.
[x]
Well if you think you have to pretend to be happy around them why bother. the problems lies not only on you but everyone. me you everyone. i used to be called a snob. and alot of other things.but you see the less you interact or the more you interact with poeple you get almost the same response.i hate talking about gossip, and alot of junk.i agree with you its not you the problem in that its your surrounding or teens and adults of today. their too busy watching paris going to jail than our economy going down. thats humans for you we are morons, idiots, smart and everything in that dictionary you can come up with.and you shouldn’t try to change because if most don’t accept you the way you are well pity why give a dam. that is my new way of thinking. you can make adjustment as in some flaws which you concider bad. but don’t change what you have spent most of your life to become. the person you are.with your values.
I feel the same way, and I’m not really sure what the answer is for this.
I thought about leaving town, but that might be a bit escapist.
The only thing I can think of is putting yourself out there and trying to meet more like-minded individuals.
How, I couldn’t tell you; I’m too shy to do it myself, but maybe you can.
Don’t even feel bad for resenting your friends; as you figure out more about who you are, it’s bound to happen even more.
I do hope you find what you’re looking for.