friends help: I think I just realized what friends are for!

Saggezza

I think I just realized what friends are for!

My sister called me today… She did a pretty good job at holding back her tears. But when I asked her if everything was OK, she started to cry. She is very pretty, very popular, just an incredible person… But lately, she’s been a bit depressed (job, finances, confidence, that kinda stuff) and she’s the kind of person that will withdraw, mainly because of a sense of embarrassment.

She was crying because she went to hang out with a few of her long-time friends, which has been rare lately… These particular few friends (one specifically) lean a bit towards the selfish b*tchy side when they’re in the mood. They more or less ignored her, didn’t show any excitement to see her for the first time in a while. They (one) made an effort to ignore my sister, and made sure my sister knew it. Basically the “you’re not gonna hang out with me, fine then, I don’t wanna hang out with you” type of attitude, even though they knew my sister is having a hard time right now, especially with self-confidence.

So, that got me thinking about what a true friend is, and why we have and need them. I contrasted what happened to my sister today with a similar situation I had when I was feeling very lost, unconfident, depressed. A few of my closest friends kept calling me to go out biking, rock-climbing, inlining, whatever. I often didn’t return their calls (in fact it got a bit annoying sometimes :-). But they never stopped, and most importantly, they never changed their demeanor or attitude towards me. They just left their hand there, with a smile, and waited until I was ready to grab hold so they could pull me up.

So, here is what I think true friends are for, and why we Need them (FYI… I tend to analyze behavior from an evolutionary perspective): Friends are needed during our lifetime to provide a means of escaping a psychological state of perpetual deterioration.

(I could have made that sound all lovey-dovey, but, well hey, if you’re a psychologist, maybe that is a lovey-dovey way of saying “loving support when times are tough” :-)

This open post was written 2 years, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 435, 13, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Saggezza may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Saggezza is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 5 months and has 41 posts and 1,416 replies to their name.

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friends, Bit, Today, Confidence, job, hang, Kind, True, Call, attitude (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (13)

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Saggezza 4 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 2 years, 4 months ago (33 minutes after post)

I gotta say, my sister is by far my best friend. No one can believe that we (bros. and sis) can have such a good friendship, she ROCKS.

Help me with: Is lying necessary?

shadylane 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 days, 6 hours after post)

my friends and i (i have no siblings) laugh that we use one another for solace.

Help me with: What do you do to make yourself (or your children) comfortable when you are suffering from the common cold?

bnielsen8 #
Minot, ND, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 days, 6 hours after post)

My brother and I are the same way, very close. I think it’s the greatest gift in the world! Enjoy her company to prove she is important to you, and she will feel the greatest self worth! Love the post!!

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grass 0 #
Cork, 04, IE | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 days, 8 hours after post)

I like to think that a friend is someone whom you can rely upon to support you, stand by you or assist you, even if the aforementioned are not deserved and if your friend’s actions are at a cost to himself/herself.

Help me with: Motivation for the study of crucial exams.

Kanna 3 #
Zagreb, 21, HR | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 days, 13 hours after post)

Awww that’s so cute about your sis being your best friend by far! (though I’m probably saying this just because I have a sister too). Plus you’re right about what makes a really good friend, the kind that keeps trying even when you reject their help, the kind that won’t leave you alone even when you tell them to because they know you better than that.

Help me with: Things, stuff, etc - consumerism meets living space.

Saggezza 4 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 days, 23 hours after post)

Kanna… Well put. Much more poetic than mine. :-)

Help me with: Is lying necessary?

Kanna 3 #
Zagreb, 21, HR | 2 years, 4 months ago (5 days, 3 hours after post)

I thought it was kind of clumsy (a run-on sentence). So is your sis feeling better?

Help me with: Things, stuff, etc - consumerism meets living space.

Saggezza 4 #
Vancouver, BC, CA | 2 years, 4 months ago (5 days, 21 hours after post)

Hmmm… That’s a tough one to answer! She’s better than she was that night, but overall she’s still struggling. She’s an incredibly happy person, and noone would think she was sad if they were to meet her. But…. I’m her brother :-)

Help me with: Is lying necessary?

crestfallen 3 #
Louisville, KY, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (1 week, 1 day after post)

Hehe…while reading this post I almost thought my own sibling had posted it. Granted, my sibling is a sister, so that was impossible, but it sounded familiar. I just moved back home after many years away, and I’ve had an extremely rough time with it. She has been there for me every moment she could, and I cannot tell you how much I’ve appreciated having her to lean on. It’s funny, because I’m the older one and I’m the one who’s been needing most of the help lately. When I avoid my friends’ calls because I’m feeling too worthless and down, she is there to keep me company whether I ask for it or not…trying to help take my mind off things, keep me from moping so hard, and generally help me in any way she can. As someone who is on the receiving end of this type of scenario, I can tell you–your support and love mean the world to her.

Help me with: What I’m working on lately…

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