life help: I am going crazy it hurts so bad. - Help.com

Then cry.
Cry your heart and break things and scream.
Then have a glass of water, take a shower, go to bed, and try again the next day with all your heart to succeed.

Well, it’s a start that you are here.
Go on the chat section and just start talking to us.
Hell, you can shout me through this system and I’ll talk to you.

No one is born social, it all comes from the environment that surrounds us.
Of course, it’s easier to be social on the internet, but gradually, when you start feeling more confident about yourself you can take what you feel and go out to the real word.

But, let’s start small for now.

My name is Nic,
What about yours?

I’m Isabelle. =)
What’s up Kal?

No, but everyone has to start somewhere Kal.
I can’t really compare my situation to yours, but I’ve always been really shy up until 2 years ago.

Like I said, you need to start small.

Ok… so your goal is to be able to just start talking and interacting with anyone that approaches you, right? Whether at a party, work function, cute girl at the bar…
Well, guess what, you already have the opportunity, but you just never realized it.
Do you go out to restaurants sometimes, with friends, or do you do your own groceries? Or get coffee’s at coffee shops?
Then start talking to the people that serve you. Make small chat. Nothing intense. Talk about the weather quickly, current events. They will never not talk back to you… Want to know why? Because they are paid to be friendly to clients/customers, etc… Now, it might seem like they might be fake, but it will give you a boost in ego and start making you feel more at ease! Guaranteed!

Or, you can just start here….
well, mind you, I have to get to bed, but I’ll be on from work all day tomorrow, if you want to talk, kal. Ok?

It takes all your courage to say hi, but you got to do it even if you feel like a dumbass.
Then you won’t regret it.

Well that’s the only ******* way it’s gonna happen.
Otherwise you’re gonna be miserable.
You can’t learn it, you just got to do it.
That is the first step, deal with it.

Well Kal, I’m talking to you, so say something to me.
It’s social, and it’s over the internet so you have nothing to lose.

I’m not telling you just do it Kal.
I’m telling you that the opportunity is there. Only you will be ready to do that when you are ready.

For your own personal issues, I do not have a remedy for that. All I can tell you is that.. .look, what are you doing right now? Aren’t you talking to perfect strangers?
(Side note, confirm your email address so that we don’t loose you ;))

I honestly believe that there is good in everyone and that, and that we can all change the way we are if we truly want it.

But the fact that you are hear, you will meet a lot of people who will lend you a helping hand, gratefully, and without expecting anything in return. There is always someone that will care, even if you can’t see it right away ;)

See, then there is a start and there is hope for you.

I may be wrong, but, could it be that the environment that you grew up in has made you scared and fear rejection from others? Could it by those reasons that you feel that you can’t really talk or communicate with others?

It will take time. Time, effort, and practice.

There are really no set rules for making friends. Some of the best friendships can come out of the most unusual circumstances. One of the best ways to make a friend is to BE a friend. As for the love part that you are worried about, it will take time and effort as well, but it will come with time.

Are you seeing a therapist right now? Do you have a job (where you could possibly make some friends)?

Have you ever heard of Toastmasters? here is their website http://www.toastmasters.org/
You could also try www.meetup.com to help you find people near where you live that you may share similar interests with.

Why are you ok talking on the internet then? ‘Cus you can’t see a person’s face?

http://help.com/post/82755-this-is-ha…

Posted this a while back. Thought it might help.

Kal.
Well, as long as you know that you can’t expect changes from one day to the next, you will do fine.

Being emotional is not a bad trait to have. It is one that shows honesty.
You are on the right path, and you are doing more than you think to help yourself. The fact that you’ve reached out for help wherever you could find it and you are getting help back just shows that there is always someone that will believe in you.

As for the impatient part, well, that will change in time. like the saying goes :
“Rome wasn’t built in one day.”

well, if you are coming here, you do have hope for yourself. you do know something’s wrong, you do want to be help. you want to help yourself. many people endure life-crippling tragedies like you endure, and i’m not sure i can say anything different from the advice given above me, but all i can do is assure you, you haven’t lost your humanity. i’m no more human that you are. you are probably even more so than i because of what you’ve gone through and how you’ve still survived, still emerged with hope still intact, the desire to live, no matter how hopeless or deluded you might think yourself to be.

before trying to reach social butterfly, work on yourself first. find something you’re good at. drawing, painting, piano, photography, guitar, writing, dancing, sculpting, singing, whatever you can get your hands on. or find something you love, can truly enjoy, with every inch of your heart. music, theatre, nature, animals, you find it yourself. try pushing those dark thoughts not to the back of your mind, but FROM your mind, and focus on the little things that make you feel satisfied. observe other people and find what makes them happy. couples who go on walks together, musicians who play with their whole heart and soul, parents who dote on their children, owners who fawn over their pets, the dumpy old man who smiles as he feeds the pigeons, the artist who become absorbed in his or her work, the people who come to watch the fireworks or stars…

look for beauty. if you look for it, really search for it, you will find it.