Hi There,
Blunt and truthful: Sounds to me like he is having a diffiuclt time adjusting to life after college / balancing his world. He is being pulled in many directions and feels a responsiblity to each of them, this is a awfully draining exhausting place to be.
It doesn’t sound like it is you that he has a problem with. Sounds like he has himself spread too thin and is trying to cope.
I think it would be wise for him to re-evaluate what is important to him, where his priorities are. He sounds overwhelmed.
Wait, be patient and then when you have that talk with him. Be blunt and truthful with him. Let him know how you feel coming from a place of loving kindness.
Good Luck and Have a great day.
J~
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I agree with above, don’t make too much of it just yet, give him space. Let him know your there. It will mellow when he can get a handle on it again. Good luck.
Well they’ve both hit the nail on the head here, You could try asking him how you can help with his work, stress or fathers house, make him feel he’s not alone and you’re not on the outside of his problems. Best of luck! I’m sure you’re both strong enough to get through this!!
Thanks so much! It’s definately better than I expected! I was hoping no one would tell me I can do better…thanks so much!!
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“I need an answer!”
the Declaration of Independence.
Sorry I don’t understand…akslogistic
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Wow! Sounds like everyone is in agreement, myself included. I am just at the tail end of a similar story, except I was in your boyfriends shoes…
If he and the situation is, in fact, similar to mine, then I can tell you this. He misses you greatly, and feels terrible that he’s not seeing you more often. This may have led to a guilt that is preventing him from even looking you in the eyes, and might find it hard to face that guilt…which is why he’s not contacting you. What I hoped for was for my girlfriend to understand. To come to me, and just be there with me. To be able to rest my head on her lap and just relax. Unfortunately, I couldn’t ever ask her to pay more attention to my needs, relative to how much attention I knew I was able to give her. I didn’t feel I deserved to ask for that gift….But I always hoped that I recieved it.
I wouldn’t, just yet, tell him you’re lonely, or that you need more attention. Although that would be all he would love to do - pay attention to your needs - he will, unfortunately, just get more stressed out by that request.
So, just for a short while, be completely selfless, ask for nothing and give everything… Just for a short while, it will be the biggest gift you could give.
i was being silly..you asked for “an answer” so i gave an answer to a test i took in school back in the day.
the point..it won’t really matter what gets said here, you know inside yourself what to do,,or what you are gonna do, you just want someone else to say it for you, or to give permission.
hope you understand…and if not now, you will later.
here is what we call a contradictory statement..
“But why does he continue to throw our relationship away when he gets too busy or stressed! He really is a one of a kind guy”
you see, you see what you want when you want….
that is the blunt truth…if he really was one in a million, you would not be asking for relationship help on here, nor tellign us his flaws, cause he would not have any..see?
I agree with the majority of the posts here…to sum up, you have to be willing to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Work with him to determine what that means!
I think you are very fortunate to get Saggezza’s perspective. It is englightening. Pick from the garden of replies these answers which work for you.
Good luck.
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He is avoiding you, sweetheart. Find another. Sorry for being blunt, but read the writing on the wall.
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WOW…. if this guy is so “special” and “one of a kind”, then I am certainly going to look for someone a little bit less “unique” and more “genuine”.
C’mon girl….if you can’t SEE it certainly you must FEEL it….
REAL men won’t string ya along and hurt you.
And there are plenty of the REAL guys out there.
Just take off the blinders and have a see!
Hugs and Wishing You sooooo much Luck!!!
Moonmaiden
The last two responses where definately differing from mine. From you post, I really get the idea that your bf is making a transition into “adulthood” and is really struggling to figure it out.
When you are being pulled from too many sides, something has got to give. Working 60 + driving time a week, heck that alone takes up your time, doing anything else is almost impossible. Feeling responsible to succeed as a male . . . well I can only surmise what that means . . but I recognize it is a strong drive.
Seriously, sounds like you guys are close . . . talk to him when the time is right. Don’t stress him out further and re-read what Seggazza’a wrote. I think your situation is more like this.
J~
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Hmmmm…..okay, ya caught me in a weak moment….know what? I may have stuck my foot in my own mouth again…nothing new….and I believe that we lost the poster…so there is no way to take it back. Well, poster, if you are still around…I apologize sincerely to you…I let my mouth overide my heart.
Geeze, sorry……Absolutely—after sitting back and relaxing and thinking, I agree with Seggazza’s reply. It just makes sense. Once again, I apologize for my lack of thought.
sometimes we all just dont listen, we sometimes jump to our own conclusions and they can be totally wrong
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Yeah too true Cajun….I am often too quick to just not pay attention and to not listen. Often to disasterous ends. But we live and learn, hopefully.
I can think of a few times when that happened, but I know it was my action that caused the doubt to arise, so I know I was to blame for the whole situation and it caused me to loose a dear friend. For that I am sorry and feel bad about myself and lately I am starting to change my ways of interacting because of it.
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Oh my gosh. I am going to risk life and limb here….Cajun are you referring to our situation here?
If not, please do disregard……
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OK,first thing you have got to know is that you didn’t lose anything. Alot was happening at the same time, unfortunately, and you just got the bad end of it. And it is me who is sorry. Um, I have had a message to you in my tags on my profile. I didn’t know if you ever went to my profile or not….it has been there for quite some time. But anyway, Cajun, thank you. So much….No worries here, ever.
You will have to be more specific with the location of the message, I cany seem to find it. Send it in a shout maybe then I will understand.
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Look at Posts, replies and down to moonmaidens tags. It just wouldn’t be the same to see it in shout….
It doesnt show me the same thing that you see when you look at your own profile, so I still dont know what you are refering to. Please let me know.
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Ohhhh man….ok….cut and paste time….BRB
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hmmm didn’t get it all hehe hold on
you know, Who, You, are…, YOU ARE MY FRIEND FOREVER, no matter what, hope, Love
YAY! There it is….no big whoop but meant whole heartedly…
so does that mean I am still your friend
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Cajun, that is totally your decision. I would like for you to be. I never wanted anything else. Wow things just got sooo hairy. But you were never REALLY any less than a friend.
I will email you tommorrow when I get home, maybe we have things to talk about.
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Ok…hey wherever you are going, please be careful, ok???
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Have a nice evening and oh yeah morning and everything else, BabyLove…..
Wow, yeh, got to voyuer part of an intimate exchange. Glad the two of you worked it out.
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yours_dietcoke
pamark
- Fourthings™ -
bnielsen8
original AKS
Saggezza
gimli
Cajun
amoonmaiden