Love help: my friend wrote this poem..tell me what yall think - Help.com

my friend wrote this poem..tell me what yall think

…………………………………………………………
my heart is yours
to hold or break
i really hope
this loves not fake
the feelings inside
are the best i’ve felt
with every sweet word
my heart just melts
you made me happier
then i ever thought i could be
but now its time for me
to face reality
you played me like a game
and left me to feel a fool
yet i choose to move on with life
knowing im still a jewel
i hope one day you know
the pain you made me feel
but i guess i must realize
life is like an ever-spinning wheel
its like a cycle
that never changes
until you find the one
to fill your empty pages
so here i write
to every girl
let the wheel spin
and your feelings unfurl
stand strong to the end
you can get through the pain
that some boy may have caused
you WILL make it through this rain
take shelter in your friends
and always know
that they will forever love you
and never let you go
so now all has been said
its time for us to part
remember these words
this window to my heart

This open post was written 2 years, 4 months ago | V/U/S: 781, 12, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post notme may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. notme is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 9 months and has 18 posts and 389 replies to their name.

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Replies (12)

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Hannah Quagmire offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Abilene, TX, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Beutiful. But what if your best friends are almost all boys?

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notme offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 4 months ago (5 minutes after post)

idk…

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Hannah Quagmire offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Abilene, TX, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (12 minutes after post)

Post a replyhat Hannah loves it :D

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Hannah Quagmire offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Abilene, TX, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (12 minutes after post)

oops, what i meant was: I love it, tell her that Hannah loves it :D

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seperfiv offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
San Rafael, CA, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (43 minutes after post)

work on your diction, better words could be used to sustain the mood

stop using first person

never use it

too long

15/20
C

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Hope offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 4 months ago (2 hours, 23 minutes after post)

I really liked it.

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lilmomma_nick offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Chicago, IL, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (2 hours, 32 minutes after post)

It was really good and you can write

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2FAMILY1KIRSCH offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 4 months ago (2 hours, 48 minutes after post)

It’s GREAT, great job

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Nine is alive offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
CA | 2 years, 4 months ago (14 hours, 44 minutes after post)

Started well… but then it just lost it.

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rocio._m offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
Glendale, CA, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (4 days, 20 hours after post)

oh thats so nice..so beautiful
i loved it!!
great job
oh i love it so much

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lambkat offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Mandeville, LA, US | 2 years, 4 months ago (3 weeks, 2 days after post)

use whatever voicec and diction you want. great petry comes from the soul not from a text book. the whole point is to express your deepest feelings, to make your audience feel the pain, sorrow, or even the joy that you felt. Your friend did it here.

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babygurlines offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 year, 2 months after post)

i like the poem

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