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Im similar too, i cant wait to know what its like and what will happen, but what tends to keep me going so to speak is the fact that one day i will deffinetly find out as we don’t live forever, its just the wait
Well it is a little odd but I guess not
It’s not un-normal. Don’t worry. I’m almost like that, but I only dream about my own death… I don’t have the guts to kill myself, though =/
apt, everyone has a purpose in life and this may be your purpose in some way, perhaps how all the different cultures of the world handled the concept of death. It is a topic that intrigues you and you handle it in a positive way by learning more and more about it. Good Luck in your journey.
it is normal many people are interested to know if there is life after death, like Electronic voice phenomenon (EVP) .
i personally don’t see anything wrong in a fascination for death, u just need an equal fascination for life so you don’t end up bumping yourself off. I f you’re really that curious about death, try and find out a bit more then bump yourself off at maybe the age of 65 coz knowing what it feels like will be the last thing you know
I am the same way.. but i also am the ‘murderer’ type. i mean i never would harm anyone.. ever. but i get these strange daydreams in which i have. i think it is a power thing. I look myself in the mirror, smile, and say “I’m going to kill you”
So i guess i am as weird as you :)
well i never have any homicidal thoughts when i’m going through another one of my curiosity phases, that really only happens when i’m angry. i usually have enough self control, though, to prevent myself from doing anything brash
crackhacky might actually be on some crack.
that might be a legitimate possibility…
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i have never had crack :)
i know exactly what you’re talking about, apt. i wouldn’t think it to be unhealthy at all.
as silverwings says, we are created for life, so i believe it is only human nature to be drawn towards the mysteries of death. it’s the one things we can never be sure about. some people fear he unknown, others embrace it. you are the latter.
i’ve grown up basically the same way you have, because my parents always encouraged me to research anything and everything that interested me. if one of that interests is death, then so be it.
yes, here in today’s culture a fascination with death is rather taboo, but that doesn’t mean that it has never happened before. ever since the dawn of time people have been fascinated with the concept of death and the afterlife. that’s one of the main reasons why religions were created in the first place.
as long as this interest isn’t hurting anybody, i can see no reason as to why you should curb your curiosity at all whatsoever.
I didn’t read any other peoples comments but i read your story and honestly i have had the exact same thoughts, reading that was like reading something i would write. i think we may very well be the same person haha
No. i was a fan of Steven King for a while and started reading his books, but, though he is a good writer, i’m not too fond of his style, which is very close to a romance novelist. i prefer H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe.
I love stephen king! Gunslinger….
Pet Sematary is very enlightening about death. The only downside is after reading it you can never spell sematary correctly ever again. The S gets into your mind and stays there…
oh, i’d go for Lovecraft and Poe over King any day! that’s for stuff that disturbs, it’s the greatest dread and macabre :)
apt edited this post 5 years, 7 months ago. Read the previous text »
I fantasize about death alot. I’m not suicidal, as far as i know, it’s just that the concept of death absolutely intrigues me. ever since i was five years old I’ve been drawn to morbid interests, going through phases of intense research at the local library. in elementary school i was into sharks (and other dangerous carnivorous animals), ghosts (i have an enormous collection of anthologies on my shelf), ancient mythologies and religion, mummies and the Egyptian version of the afterlife, and great tragedies (going through my titanic and holocaust phase).
in middle school i discovered the concept of suicide. it immediately became my newest interest and, like my other phases, i found everything i could on the subject: movies, short stories, poems, music, plays, texbooks, diaries, and so forth and so on.
i spent so much time thinking about death that i wondered just how it would feel. i remember thinking about the possibility of dying myself just to be able to know what it was. i know it sounds crazy, but my curiosity gets the better of me. it took alot of persuasion later to convince myself that it was a stupid idea, since as far as i know, we’ve only got one life ot live, and even if i discovered what death was like, it’s not like i could come back and share my discovery.
well, even now, this subject is what is nearly always on my mind, though i don’t like to speak about it to most people. i don’t want them to worry about me, think i might try to kill myself or someone else or something stupid like that. it’s simply the most interesting topic i’ve ever come across, unfortunately any real interest in it is viewed as rather taboo. i have a feeling that it may always be this way for me.
the question is, i guess, is, how much of this is “normal”? is it simply a different interest than most, or is this unhealthy?
I’ve been doing research on Wicca. I’ve found many portions of Wicca that are very close to the recounts in the Christian Bible. The major difference is that while Christianity teaches you to think mostly of the life you’re given now, Wicca teaches that it really doesn’t matter what you do in this life, because the next will be better if of course you follow the rules. If you’re that interested in death, a Wicca research session is probably a good thing.
No it doesn’t! What are you going on about?
I’m not judging you. Everyone has there own “thing” that excites them. I don’t think your wierd I just think your a litle wild and curious.All I’m asking of you is not to try the actual thing, like “KILLING” yourself lol. ’cause if you do, you know there is no turning back!!
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apt edited this post 5 years ago. Read the previous text »
I fantasize about death alot. I’m not suicidal, as far as i know, it’s just that the concept of death absolutely intrigues me. ever since i was five years old I’ve been drawn to morbid interests, going through phases of intense research at the local library. in elementary school i was into sharks (and other dangerous carnivorous animals), ghosts (i have an enormous collection of anthologies on my shelf), ancient mythologies and religion, mummies and the Egyptian version of the afterlife, and great tragedies (going through my titanic and holocaust phase).
in middle school i discovered the concept of suicide. it immediately became my newest interest and, like my other phases, i found everything i could on the subject: movies, short stories, poems, music, plays, texbooks, diaries, and so forth and so on.
i spent so much time thinking about death that i wondered just how it would feel. i remember thinking about the possibility of dying myself just to be able to know what it was. i know it sounds crazy, but my curiosity gets the better of me. it took alot of persuasion later to convince myself that it was a stupid idea, since as far as i know, we’ve only got one life ot live, and even if i discovered what death was like, it’s not like i could come back and share my discovery.
well, even now, this subject is what is nearly always on my mind, though i don’t like to speak about it to most people. i don’t want them to worry about me, think i might try to kill myself or someone else or something stupid like that. it’s simply the most interesting topic i’ve ever come across, unfortunately any real interest in it is viewed as rather taboo. i have a feeling that it may always be this way for me.
my question is, am i alone in this inquiry?
i don’t see why it’s a fascination that one needs to be freed from.
yeah, i’m beyond suicide, it just seemed like a pretty interesting thing at the time. it was very foolish of me, of course, to even consider it, but i was 13-14 at the time and had little control over how i satisfied my curiosity. it was **** near killing me.
death is an incredible subject and i sure as hell am in the same carnival ship as you. but you already know that.
you have just become my favorite crackhead :)
Eccedentesiast wrote:
death is an incredible subject and i sure as hell am in the same carnival ship as you. but you already know that.
carnival ship? what is this, a luxury vacation?
yes! i accept! we SHOULD goi on a vacation!
When thinking about death, I think about the concept of things occurring that results in me dying, and when I hit that aspect of the thought I am apathetic and accepting of the concept and almost relieved that I die in an straight forward and unpainful way. what context do you apply yourself in relation to the concept of death.
example: You walk out onto the roof of a really big building, do you:
1. think about what it would be like to fall off the building and die.
2. think about what it would be like if someone else fell off the building and died.
3. think about the concept of dying from falling off the height (discarding a protagonist)
and then, if you follow on from any of the three answers, do you feel:
1. relieved at the concept of you / a person dying
2. worried about the potential of it happening to you / someone else / the fact that is is possible.
ok, well in your example, i walk out on a building top i think:
1. what would it be like to fall
2. what would it be like if i watched another person fall
3. what would it be like if that person landed on a person below them
4. what would i do in any of the above situations
thinking about the concept of dying is almost always on my mind. it’s not a burden or anything, just a thought. nothing different than thinking about living.
but i do not feel ‘relieved’ at the idea of dying. i’m just curious, always have been.
i might feel worried only if it is an actually possibility and the person is in some way close to me.
the living are shunned for thinkning about the dead. i wonder if the dead are shunned for thinking about the living…
i would think that if anyone knew the answer to that question, ecce, you would be the one.
that is true. but then again, the dead are not the most sociable of beings, so that is one question that i do not hold the answer to :/
No, I think many of us think about things like that —- each of us for our own reasons. People wish to be free and death is the ultimate freedom from all things or people on earth that hurt us. For me i fantasize about my death but believe it is a sin and the fear of what I would live with if I “took the bus” is greater than what I have to live with here. But no I think your thoughts are just that questions and not something that is , for you, dangerous.
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google the zen of birthlessness
I don’t have much to comment.. but I think you should start writing novels.. seriously.
Personally I sometimes fantasize my own death; the thought of leaving everyone behind, even though nobody would really care (I’d be forgotten in a matter of weeks), letting everyone wondering WHY I would commit suicide fascinates me.
It’s.. intriguing.. I think I know how you feel.
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energy has no beginning or end, it just changes form. The only constant is change. I think it really narrows down to how we define “reality” and certain terms like transcendant concept of the self. limitless horizons both internally and externally. A myriad of transdimentional and transitional levels to the universe. have anyone really tried to just consider the eternal external universe not to mention the unknown possibilities. has anyone ever heard of nirvana and Im not talking about a ******* band from seatle. There is no way out of here . you have to go within. the kingdom of God is not external or just ephemeral. it’s essence is within you it’s actually who you really are. You are eternity and so am I. eternal life is not some pie in the sky something that happens after you die someday. real life in the spirit is right now…..eternally in the now…..yea I did some schrooms back in tha day…. so ******* what….A mind that is unused is a waist of 3 pounds of gray matter to say the least….yakisaki
I can reciprocate this fascination and want. I’ve can remember my first big introduction to death as a child, though I understood death before this incident it became a part of me after i went to my first funeral at age 7. I had the chance, as would call it, to go in the back of the parlor and see how the embalming process was conducted. From this point I became obsessed with anything related to death or anything that could somehow bring upon death. The same goes for animals such as sharks, or anything that could kill a human so easily as to make us seem insignificant to be snuffed so effortlessly. The year after this I had a nearly fatal car accident which caused a lot of health complications for the next decade or so into my late teens. I became severely ill at age fifteen and nearly died again. I don’t know if this is in part a reason why I became, as you said, morbidly obsessed with death but it didn’t help. I wanted to work in a funeral home to wishing I was a pathologist. I’ve been “diagnosed” with manic depression/bipolar disorder, but to me these things seem like a fictitious element. Yes depression runs in my family yes I’ve done things that were only meant to bring harm upon myself. But maybe I am just simply not “meant” ,for lack of a better word, to be capable of feeling genuine lasting happiness? What would the world be like if everyone was happy? This probably sounds crazy to most people, but in my world, it makes perfect sense.
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yeah, I’m dreaming of dying a lot too…I know its a sin coz life is a gift given by God…….I just cant help thinking on the other side of life…
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i am on the exact same page i was always so interested in the holocaust, slave trade, world wars, the deaths of family members, and particularily suacide, the other thing i do is fantasize about my funeral, all the time. what songs i want to be played, who i want to be there, the pictures they show. i am so anxious and excited for it and yet im nervous to do anything because woudl if there isnt an afterlife and i dont get to see my own funeral which i have dreamt about for years.
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my names katelyn, im completely in the same boat since i can remember i always been intrigued by death. In elementary school i would imagine the bus would run off a bridge and crash. i also found titanic and the holoucast huge things of interest to me. i would find books on them and read everthing i could on them. I also was very interested in the story of Anastasia and her family. i had to right back to your post b/c it really struck a chord with me. i felt the same way you did at that age. Im only 17 now but i can deffinitley relate. Now that im older i have discovered that i have had depression all my life. i really started egnolaging death when i was six and my friend was struck by lightning and killed. ive had depression my whole life and most my friends dont even know. i hope your read this and reply b/c its rare to find a girl you can relate to. —-katelyn
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