girl help: Need a woman’s opinion here… I played my cards wrong with a girl I was crazy about and I don’t want it to happen again. - Help.com

well i guess it differs with girls, but my advice is that maybe you should have waited a while after the break up. She prolly just thought you wanted in her pants because she thinks that you thought she was just on the rebound and you good comfort her…and maybe if you give it time she might come back to you.

If you hate playing games, and BTW we do also, why would you cry over losing someone that likes playing games? Even if the two of you would have embarked in a relationship you would have tired quickly of the over taxing energy required to make a game player satisfied. Where would it leave you? Don’t make the mistake of treating all girls like game players. If you stumble upon one that does not like playing games and you play the game, you will lose her also.

I actually know no woman who would prefer having to guess someones feeling over being told you find them amazing. I am a woman myself, and it seems to me that the problem might not be a lack of a chase, but a incompatibility of paces. There is really no knowing whether a girl wants time after a breakup or not. There is no right pace of falling in love, but you have to be at the same pace or you’ll lose each other along the way. There are two things that might have occurred here, in my opinion.
1 She liked you. She showed you she liked you and you jumped in. You somehow forgot to read any other signs after the first positive one and went too quickly. Try (either in a second attempt or with another girl) to read her all the way during those first happy hours of being in love. You may not have been too much available, but too overpowering in your presence, it is difficult to tell. You might just ask her what you did wrong.
2 She kind of liked you. Than she got to know you a little better (enthousiasm, passion, sincerity etc). She found out that you had some characteristics that she thought wouldn’t work out on the long term or she decided you liked her more than she liked you. In this case, you don’t have to be too sad, it is probably for the best she was so quick in finding out.

Live and learn, my friend. Before you skip to the next reply because that was the last thing you wanted to hear, go back and re-read those first few words over and over again.

You seem like the kinda person who is very introspective, analyticle, and self-critical in a good way. If what you want do figure out is how to not let this happen again, just keep doing what you’re doing now. I bet you’re the kind of person who, by the simple act of writing down and submiting this post, have already accomplished what you’re asking for in the post.

Now, as far as the firld goes. If she is a good person, like you, I am forced to wonder if she is behaving the way she is because what she wants now is to be free and un-commited for a while. And she knew that she could easily fall for you. Give her time to be herself, let her live, let her get it out of her system.

Don’t play the game (I f****** hate that as well), instead pay close attention to what you feel she needs, rather than what you know you want.

I think so far you have received some great advice here. I would add that you have to make sure that over eagerness is not perceived as desperation. Also, is it possible you were the guy friend she was using to rebound from her relastionship and she told you she like you to keep you around.
She was not the right girl for you and even if you got together it does not seem like it would of worked out. We all are eager to fall in love and sometimes that allows are hearts to believe that substance is there when it is not. You sound like a good guy and if you hang in there I am sure the right girl will come along. The right girl will not want to play games, at least not mind games. You should analyze what it was that made you so smitten with this girl.

It was too soon after the break-up. She was probably on an emotional roller coaster anyway, and with all the confusion, couldn’t handle one more thing. She probably just wanted you to lend an ear for awhile so that she could sort out those emotions. Next time, just wait awhile. If you have known the person for so long anyway, a little more time is not going to hurt anything.

i agree with the others, too soon after the breakup. It depends on the girl thogh. sometimes they try to get a man as soon as possible to make the old one jelous. some weap for 6 months. Ayou cant really tell. Just be yourself, and sdo your best to read her amotions. Good luck!

i guess you shouldv given her a little time after her breakup…dont try go too fast..love takes time to develop(if it has to)…

Personally i don’t think it was anything YOU did. Maybe she did like you but then maybe she got scared off after being in a relationship. You didn’t scare her, but the prospect of another romance scared her.
Can you try to slowly be her friend again and then maybe if she wants to, then see where it might go?

you probably should have waited a bit after she broke up with her bf but i dont think youve done anything wrong.