Love help: I’ve never been able to really “talk” about - Help.com

i don’t think that you being curious about this is going to hurt your ‘PARENTS’
at all. if they are caring parents then they would understand that its nothing against them and that you still love them,but it is a natural thing to want to know.i mean i kinda know how you feel. my mother died in a car accident when i was only nine and a half months old. i have always wondered what she was like and everything about her, but no one has ever told me anything. not my dad not my half brother, no one. all i have of her is aframed picture of her as a baby, and a metal box filled with some of her things. so i can empathize what your feeling. just slowly approach it with them, you might be suprised.

It sounds to me like, the parents that have adopted you are pretty great people; however if they know that much about your real mother, then they arn’t telling you everything. Do you know your mother’s last name? if so, you could look her up in public records etc. Good Luck.

I have a step daughter. She has never know her “sperm donor” (her term, not mine) and she rarely asks about him. I’m her Daddy and that is all that matters to her - at this time.

Speaking from experience, Daisey1974 you are wrong. It does hurt. Just thinking about my daughter wanting to get in touch with her “real” father hurts and its scary. But I love my daughter and if that is something she needs to do, I will help her do it.

Artic, the rest of what Daisey says is correct. Talk to your parents. But do it tactfully and slowly like she suggests. Your parents may be hurt and that’s a reasonable response for them to have. But I am sure that they will want to help you like I would want to help my daughter. Don’t forget to remind them that you love them and this won’t change that (parents need to hear it sometimes too).

Good luck.

silverwings, i agree. i’m one who always questions

i’ve sorta “talked” to them about it but i find myself slowly getting more and more curious but i want to find her sorta and it’s hard because i know so little and she has a pretty common last name.
i know that i was born in San Antonio, Texas and my mom’s name was Nicole Kelly but that’s all i know

(by the way this is Articmusic445 i just couldn’t access my post from my own username)

Sounds like the ones taking care of you now are great people. i don’t think it would hurt them if you would want to know about your biological parents esp your mom. i even think they have been preparing themselves to the day you will ask about it. so i think it is your right to know who she really is. by knowing your real roots, it would really help you with lots of things esp the ones dealing with emotions.

The people above have given good advice. I would also suggest just talking to your parents about it. I’m sure they will be supportive.

i’m only responding because i have an older “half-brother” who only met his biological father last year, after 23 years of never setting eyes on the man. i don’t think your parents will be upset with you or question your loyalty & love. actually i’m pretty sure they knew this day would come, or at least they’ve already considered the possibility. you seem very open-minded, and i’m sure they witness this fact more than i have just by reading your post. with that said, if you let them know how you’re feeling, then they, as your parents, should easily understand why. my mom felt like my brother had the right to know - had the right to choose whether or not to let his biological father into his life. and in my personal opinion, i think that you should never hold yourself back from something your heart presses so strongly about. if you feel like you’re headed in the right direction with something, it’s usually because you are..

peace & blessings..
soifua,
kiddo