friends help: Afraid to post this but…i need advice about depression - Help.com

Don’t be afraid.

I know what you mean; I felt like a burden at first, too. Especially because when I told my mom, she started complaining about how “Oh, I’m such a horrible mom, all my kids are depressed, this and that.”
Sure didn’t help.
And she didn’t take me to get help for another year and a half. She thought I was doing it for attention. But then, when I got in the way and started shoplifting and stuff, she was like “OH IT MUST BE DEPRESSION!” even though when I shoplifted it had nothing to do with that. But at least I got my point across some way or another.
It definitely runs in my family.
W/E, ANYWAY.
I’m sure things will go better for you because you probably don’t have older siblings with depression as well. Your parents might realize you need more immediate help.
Also, try 1-800-suicide. I know you’re not suicidal, but it’s a nice place to talk to someone impartial and supportive and just vent everything.

I kinda know what you are going through i was depressed because of school and work and living on my own. Be strong and hang in there. You need to try and find something that makes you happy wheither it be reading a book, taking a bubble bath, doing your nail, just anything that makes you alone feel special. It make take a while to find that special thing, but you will, give it time. I would let your parents know what is going on, just so if something happens you can go to them no matter what. Have you tried talking to a doctor, they can give you other options.

Everyone feels “depressed” throughout their lifetime. My advice is to try exercising, get some sun, and take vitamins as well as eating healthy if you do not want to rely on medication. Another alternative is something called St Johns Wort which you could get at your local grocery shops, GNC, and other vitamin stores. In my understanding GOD will always be there for you and love you no matter what. Ive had a rough time keeping faith, but it can be done. It was through the struggles that I realized GOD was the only one I could talk to and express my inner secrets and thoughts. Everybody gets scared when things seem overwhelming, its natural. I would not recommend keeping things bottled up bc, when I did and do this I just stress my self over by repeating the same issues in my head over and over again. It gets very tiring, so please speak with someone. Have you tried consulting your church counselors? Do not be afraid to ask for help, bc your friends and family are more than willing to help, I wouldnt consider helping someone I love as a burden bc I would be more than happy to do it. =) Look, go one step at a time. Break your problems into smaller ones and try not to take on too much at once. I understand you want to be successful in life, but your only going to beat your self up with overwhelming amounts of too much work. WE ARE HUMANS and need REST my friend. Do not worry so much and if you ever someone just give up a shout!

Try to find a hobby that makes you happy too. Watching your favourite film can help too. Just try to find stuff that keeps you happy and as everyones been saying….talk. Its your greatest weapon to combat depression. You nkow what they say, A problem shared is a problem solved…or something along those lines. And of course, you always have us :)

Good luck with this

I first noticed my depression when I was 18 y.o. I wanted to see a Dr. but I was too ashamed. So I ignored it. It got gradually worse as I went through my next nearly twenty years until I could take it no more. I was suicidal, worthless, hopeless, and helpless. I finally got help after several months of nearly giving up night after night after night. I needed medication and counseling.
Fifteen years since then I still fight for my self esteem, but I finally see myself improving.
I made the mistake of not correcting my problem when I first recognized it. As a result of that neglect I had many extra years of practice at unhealthy thinking. I think my recovery would have been quicker had I started working on it sooner.
I hope you share your struggle sooner than later with some one you know will respond positively. Clergy, Dr., School counselor, Strong positive friend, Boss. Anyone you respect and care about and who is likely to help you find help for this.
You have shared it here which is an excellent start. But it may be more helpful to do the work face to face with someone.
My university has a counseling center in which psychology students get their practice under supervision. I have received much counseling there and honestly much of it was better than counseling I paid for.
My point is dont wait. A stain dryed and set is harder to remove than a fresh spill.

You said you are a Christina, do you have a pastor or minister thatyou could share this with?

oops…Christian.

I told a leader at church, but I don’t want that to be the way they view me. I would rather keep it all bottled up until I explode rather thatn cause any more stress in their lives, because they all already do so much for me and my youth group

and keeping it bottled up inside dosent help ask me i have been there done that, so in order to solve the problem get to rute of your problem or tell somebody you willl never see or go and find a spot where you can talk aloud to yourself and just let it all out god will be listinig and it will make you feel a lot better. and some times you just need to say fack it and enjoy yourself and dont let anything down

The simple fact that you posted this indicates you want to feel better. That desire is hope. Hope is necessary to bring us to the realization of our goals. Your goal right now is to feel better. Work toward that with all your might. Enlist the help of others. Your need is not a burden to them. Helping you with your burden is a joy. I don’t know if you can imagine that, but it is true. Helping you to succeed in your fight against depression will lift those you turn to. You know people who love you and will rejoice as you return to a state of confidence and happiness. When you turn to them, listen and do the work they suggest. Be open and honest and accept their good words about you.

Here’s the problem, I don’t wanna be a downer. When i’m around my church friends i’m super hyper, but as soon as i get home i crash, but why do they need to know that. Why can’t I just leave their perception of me as someone who has it all together and couldn’t be happier? I cannot tell my parents, it’s just not an option. I’m gonna try that St. John’s Wort, cause i can get it w/o anyone knowing. Also, i have a lot of friends who confide in me, and the last thing i wanna do is try to top their problems with my depression. The things you guys say helps, but as far as talking about it goes, this is about it. Getting help beyond this makes it real, something thats not just in my mind.

It used to be that i felt like my heart was ripped open and sown shut so many times that all was left was scars. Nothing left to feel, love, care. But God healed me, gave me a fresh start in that sense, but now I just want to protect my heart from getting hurt again by anything, other people or my own mind. I’m trying to fight though, as hard as I can.

Thanks again everyone. All of you who are in the same boat, best wishes.

Why do they need to know that? Because them hearing your truth might help you but just as important it might help them. Your openness about this might protect someone else with this problem by helping them to become more open.
When I was in my second year of college I lost one of my dorm mates to depression. No one - not even his roommate - knew of the depression he hid. I had already noticed mine in my first year and spoke to one friend about it, but shied away from getting the help I truly felt I needed. Maybe you can overcome your depression without any real help. I truly hope so. But if you don’t start making real progress soon and just let things go the way they are going - the burden you try to bear alone may wear you down. You will not bring your friends down by letting them know the truth.

i feel like it’s a stupid problem though. I mean my life is not that bad. My circumstances don’t change. I go up and down, even if nothing has changed. It’s been like this for just over a year, so I don’t want to always be bringing it up to the like 3 people who know even a little bit. i mean I have friends with real problems and when I see them, I can’t bring myself to show it to them. Can’t i comfort and help them, and just try to ignore or face my depression on my own time, in my own mind, where no one can see?

Seems you are taking on others burdens and letting them weigh on you too. Nothing bad about helping your friends but remember…where do the help turn to when they need help? - here is a good start :) or as others have said, a church or an organisation. Try ringing up a help line - you can talk to them, not look them in the face and you’ll probably never see or talk to them again. Perhaps this will give you a little more confidence in sharing your problem. I nkow you say that you go up and down even if nothings changed but maybe subconciously there is something wrong. Perhaps youre worried with the state of the world or something like that? I know i worry about climate change sometimes and what the future may be like.

The only way you will really help yourself is to tell someone as the others who have posted said. Bite the bullet…theres nothing to be ashamed of. Trust me on that.

It does not matter what your circumstances are. You can have a loving family, be financially comfortable, healthy, likeable, good looking, and smart, and still have depression. As a matter of fact I think of myself that way.
My depression was due to faulty thinking. Once a faulty thought pattern gets engrained into your beliefs it can become difficult to recognize without help. It can get so deeply engrained with time and practice that even when it is pointed out to you, you deny that it is faulty because it is your truth.
Think about it from a sports perspective. A major leauge baseball player does a few things very well and still needs a coach to help him see where he can improve. Some little quirk in my stance or my grip sneaks in and I go into a slump. A good coach can see these things quickly because he sees you from the outside. Can look from different angles. Has educated himself on what to look for.
You know there is a problem. Finding a coach to help you out of this slump before you have practiced it deeply into your being is good.
As for being a burden or downer - it bears repeating: The people who help you will be enriched by your success in overcoming this.

Ok so I’m doing a little better lately. Today was pretty stressful cause my job is really fast paced. PLus, I saw someone had a post the other day about Jesus being the messiah and I responded, but I was totally unprepared to argue him because I haven’t been a serious christian that long. So I feel bad because I can’t find the truth becuase i don’t know enough yet. I hate when that happens, cause my faith is the only thing that has kept me going all this time, so having what i’ve believed and been told my whole life challenged is hard, especially because I just want to know the truth.

Today=up, tomorrow, who knows?

I think i’m try talking to a friend soon. I just hope I don’t whimp out like usual.

oh yeah, one more thing, depression blows, lol.

hey you guys, i have a question, so say I do decide to talk to someone about this, how do I start the conversation? What am i supoosed to say? I think that is one of the big things holding back. (Plus, the difficult task of getting one of my friends alone.)
see this is my big problem. it’s still here, but i’ve already said all i have to say to you guys so now i feel like a blabering moron. I mean what am I supposed to do once I have nothing left to say, all the words are gone, but the feelings not. i mean talking to someone is the only move I have left, and after that…then what? I would rather suffer in pain than feel nothing at all. Emptiness is so much worse.

Friends can be great support; but from what you have written so far I think they won’t be able to really help you. I think your best bet is to talk with your pastor. He is likely going to be able to help you talk with your parents. And he may be able to say if you should consult a psychologist. Feeling down can be caused by a large number of things. One of the most common causes is excess stress. Whatever your cause for feeling down getting help doesnt mean you are messed up. Getting help is simply a smart way correct a problem.

How though? how do i tell them? what can i say?
what difference would it make? It’s not like my parents would care. NOne of it really makes any difference. It can only go downhill by telling someone, especially if my parents get involved. Maybe i should just runaway. Start over.

There is no running away from your feelings. Tell them how you feel. Let them know you need help with your feelings. This wont be easy for your parents. They might make mistakes - feeling it is about them; but whether it has anything to do with them or not it is you who needs help now.
Getting started may be tough but the sooner you get started the sooner you can get closer to feeling better. Like I said it may be easier to start with your pastor. Ask him to help you talk to your parents.

I can’t tell my parents. you make it sound easy but its…..impossible. it won’t ever happen. ever
you say i can’t runaway from it? watch me, i could just get away from all the stress, the pressure, the people. Just get in the car and drive and drive and drive. I only get hurt when i come out of my shell. I can either leave, or crawl back in. It always seems the worst when I reach out to people. I just can’t do it anymore. Being around people who care about me 2 times a week isn’t enough. I can’t handle it. Thats what i have to do, is just stop letting anyone know its there. If anyone actually cared they would have noticed by now(or if they did notice, they would have approached me by now). i’m pro bnot gonna leave, I’m just gonna act like the person most people think i am, happy as can be. maybe it’ll go away on its own. Thanks for all your help.

Acupuncture and depression has been shown to be effective in many cases, some positive evidence lies in the fact that acupuncture has been practiced by many people for a long time.
http://www.askaquery.com/question/Acu…

Have you tried calling a helpline? You may find it easier that way (most people do as you dont face the person and often youre anonymous and you’ll probably never speak to them again). To start you could say “Ok, so heres my problem…” or something like this. Acupuncture is good if you arent afraid of needles ^^. If you dont feel youre parents will understand then the person on the end of the phone line will. Have faith :)

what are you afraid of?

none of the above. my dad works at a bank and hasn’t been to a church in like 10 years.
what am I afraid of? I have no idea, but look I think i’m gonna stop posting on this page. Sorry. Thanks for everyones help.

Dont give up just because you might not like the ideas that people are posting. We are trying to help you and we want to help you. Just give some of them a try, you may be surprised.

start doing yoga…breathing exercise