Yes, I believe there are times we do that. If we wallow in things that are hard for us and don’t try to help ourselves or take help when it is offered or dig our holes deeper just so we can cry poor me. But overall I don’t believe people want to stay in this state and if they do, then there is something not firing correctly up there. We all get down at times but I think we hit a point where we are sick of being down and just want to be happy again so we make that happen. If we can’t then there is something else wrong, something serious, that we can not fix ourselves and we need help. Serious help.
Well, i think of course that most of people do not like to be in that state, but some i really think do!… many people suffer of the type of deppresion that pills are needed and psychiatrist are consulted, but don’t we need sometime someone to yell at us and tell us do something!!… my sister used to tell me what u might need are real problems!!… (not everyone of course!!!!
Problems are relative. What are problems to some may not be to others.
I think at times, we do just want pity or someone to do it for us so we don’t have to so we complain and whine…it can be childish and selfish. But I don’t mind avoiding smacking another person in the face and yelling at them and instead just listening and being patient with them. However, if they do it constantly, it does get old.
My father has a habit of making everything this huge stressful problem in his life and it gets really old. I can’t stand to be around him sometimes. I got my own problems, ya know? So I think I know what you are talking about.
It’s weird sometimes i think that if someone want to cry forever, then that person should! because is his or her right!… but some other days, i think people should not be complaining about everything because there is always someone worst than u!… but i also tell myself..what u just said, what are problems to some way may not be to others!…, each one of us has the right to get as happy as u want and as sad as u can be!… what is the limit then?… if there is one….
hmm, the limit…that is a good question. Maybe it is just a matter of letting everyone be who they are. If they are just whiners and complainers then well I guess we have to put up with that. Maybe we can remind them that there are people who might be worse off but if that brings no comfort what else can we do?
I know my brother used to complain about having acne when he was a teen and my father would just tell him you could be blind, or have no legs, etc. Well he is 37 years old now and to this day he talks about how much that hurt him and that dad did not recognize the pain he felt having to deal with major acne as a teen. It was important to him and he was not being heard.
It is a fine line, if there is one.
Good point!… sometimes we can get hurt when people do not understand our pain, like when my dog died last week and i was feeling miserable, and i felt that some people just told me “how could u get so sad for a dog”… and i felt terrible, but i told myself that i have the right to feel sadness as much as i want!… but on the other side i was wondering how much was i bothering the rest?
Aww, I’m sorry you lost your dog. I have a dog, four house cats, and two house rabbits. They are like my children. When they pass away, I will be so horribly sad. I know how much you can love an animal. They really can be like a family members and it hurts so much. I’ve had people say the same things to me about getting so sad for an animal but I just tell myself they don’t understand and then I don’t talk about it with them but I can usually find someone who understands.
Again, I am sorry about your dog. *hugs*
Thanks so much, all my family loved my dog, we buried him in the back yard, we put flowers, and we buried him with his toy an orange ball he had, and some food, we put flowers every other day, i also put his picture in a big portrait in my house everyone is sad.!! i ask myself why these little lovely animals have to pass away?…
I TOTally know what you mean….I think (in my culture anyway.) there is often unbalance in terms of people being SOOO self-focused (and that being encouraged by therapy too) ‘i feel, i feel, i want i think i feel’ without really recognizing - we cant always be led by our feelings - it really CAn get out of balance …..at least i’ve lived a lot of years that way, on my pitypot throne, going over and over my pile of bones and hurts…waah waah… pretty pathetic but there you have it!!! sometimes my feelings are just plain selfish or, even, my perspective wrong and selfish and/or victimy and I need to just GEt Over It…think about someone else for a change, quit being so wounded or offended or this or that…not to say I should go around stuffing/pretend cheery chirpy - but at least think about something besides myself for sure….know whatcha mean sister!!
good post!!!
i dont know what you people are thinking but there are people like me that have to live with depreshon every day. on the outside i am a strong happy leader, always willing to help anyone, always put other people and there feelings frst. on the inside i want to die, i want to stop the pain. yes we all need help to come out of it. i have had to deal with this all my life and it just gets worse, people stop helping and listning if there is nothing in it for them. its prople like me that help all around then that end up in pain.
walk a mile in my life and then tell me it is easy to pull your self out.
dont mean to be rude or upse anyone.
Jonboybam,
I also live with major depression, have attempted sucide twice. What lucichar2 was talking about was not what you are referencing. She is talking more about the mild temporary pity parties we sometimes give ourselves, not the serious depression that torments us and requires more then our own strength to get us through.
*hugs* You are not alone in your feelings.
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