Love help: help my husband is selfish, ungratful & just plain horrible to me. - Help.com

Tell him to stop being so objectifying and care more about your inner self. If he doesn’t you might reconsider your marriage…

Honesty is a cornerstone in the foundation of a relationship. If you are unhappy with your husband because of his behavior, then tell him so. You don’t have to be confrontational about it, of course; just completely honest about how you are feeling. If his comments are hurtful, say so.

If you want to lose weight, tell him you have trouble with diets and try to find a healthy solution between the two of you. Exercise and balanced eating is better than dieting, in any case.

If you are happy with your body the way it is, then say so - if he truly loves you, he should be able to respect that.

Whatever you choose to do, both you and your husband should strive to maintain a loving harmony in the household - especially for the sake of your children. If that isn’t possible you may wish to re-examine your relationship as Nude Clooney suggests.

The way i see it you have 2 options :
1-talk to him about it and let him know that your weight doesnt make you who you are . .i mean why should he care if you’re over weight or skinny or what not if he actually loved you
2- If you really cant stand him then i guess its about time to leave him . .if he is so ungrateful why are you waiting . . its just making you more miserable

two words… Loraina Bobbet.

Just kidding…. the two of you obviouly need counseling but I’m sure he will not go. This is the kind of man that will eventually come to physical abuse… it’s mental now, but for how long? I’m willing to bet he’s already hit you, but you are not telling us that part. You need to leave him dear. Don’t tell him anything… just one day when he comes home from work… you and the kids will be gone. If you feel bad for him, put a TV dinner in the microwave before you go. Look for the shelters in your area, or better a little ways out of your area. If you family is in a different state see if they can help you come home. Leave the bum.
Bright blessings~
Richard

I guess there are two side to this to consider. He shouldn’t be horrible to you true. But if he knows that you are unhappy and depressed because of your weight encouraging you to go on a diet could be his way to try and help you. I could be he is trying to get back the fun beautiful girl that he married. It could be that your lack of confidence in yourself is rubbing off on him, I mean if you don’t even think good things about yourself how can you expect him to? Also you say all you care about are your kids… how about your husband? Are you so busy with your kids that you are neglecting him, or neglecting your self (appearance and otherwise) making you self undesirable? I understand that a lot of things change with children, and after working all day and and taking care of the kids (and cooking and cleaning and handling a phone call from the teacher ect ect ect) it is hard to look your best…. but your husband still wants to find you attractive and desirable. People are ready to say get out, he is so bad to you! but maybe he is trying in his stupid man way to save your marriage….. though he is going about it the wrong way. Think to yourself : Is he doing/saying these things because he wants to hurt you? Or is he hurting himself? Counseling is a good option. Or you could join the YMCA and take two nights off a week from your family (your husband should be fine with this as he wants you to lose the weight) to go work on your self confidence. Try yoga its fun and good for you, but anything you are interested in would work. I mean if he is really abusing you that is one thing, but if he is just unhappy then you two might just need a change of pace. It is really hard to live with someone who is depressed and thinks terribly of themself… having to listen to them say I am so fat and gross, but not doing anything thing to change themself…. The real thing you need to think about is if he really wants to hurt you or if he wants to help you and just doesn’t know a better way to do it.

Sit on him until he shuts up? That’s what I would do.

Are you serious? You don’t know what to do? First thing is to leave him, i hope you did. No one deserves to be treated like that. You will be better off alone than with him. Do that and post again.