Love help: I’ve been married for 17 years with three beautiful children. - Help.com

You have answered your own question. Good luck to you.

Yes I can certainly relate to this story. I too have been with my partner for 17 years and often wish I was somewhere else even though alot of my single, successful friends crave what I have. “Always wanting what we dont have”

If you are able to move forward and let go of your husband of 15 years I commend you for your bravery and wish you the best. You are breaking away from something that is so comfortable like an old pair of slippers, and face a new challenge and a new beginning. Exciting and I almost envy you.

I myself will stay stuck in my old faithfulls for fear of a choice “I” may regret.

Good luck oh brave one, and enjoy your journey. :)

I just got divorced after 17 years of marriage. I too met someone, when I was contemplating it and finally made my decision to free myself of a very depressing and abusive situation. I have two children so I did not make my decision lightly - it was 10 years in the making.

My ‘friend’ is my soulmate, we have known each other for a year now…to date we are still just friends. We both have very strong feelings for each other, but we know that I need time to heal. Divorce is hard - it doesn’t matter how poor the situation is/was.

My best advice, do what is right for you and the kids. Don’t rush into a new relationship..allow it to build slowly. Enjoy some time for you, the anticipation of this new relationship is a great experience, linger in it for a while.

Remember the children will need time to adjust (mine are 2 and 11) my ex moved out in Feb, divorce final in May…we remained friends because we took our time, we put the kids feelings at the forefront during the divorce to make sure they felt as little impact as possible. Still a huge change none the less.

Only you know if divorce is right for you…many will tell you do all you can to save your marriage. I agree with that, but you also need to recognize if the situation is detrimental to the children. What image of Marriage are they viewing - is it a healthy one? One that you would want them to model? Parents are children’s greatest teachers…one of the best lessons we teach them is LOVE - self love, love for our spouse/partner, love for our children, friends and family. Not a lesson taught in school. Teach it well.

Stay strong, think clearly, and listen to your inner voice.

Hugs!

I thank each of you for your help. Relating to similiar stories helps. Yes, this isn’t a quick or light decision, I am reading and praying and doing everything I can make an intelligent choice. I know I love this other man with all my heart. I also know my kids come first.

This post and the replies really made me think.
What is love?
17 years ago, I think there was also strong feelings between the wife and the husband. When time past by, where has the love gone?
So we can meet another person, it is new, there is passion, how about 10 years later? Can you see where the love will be?

I am 30 years now, I met my boyfriend 8 months ago, we’ve been great great together, he is a really nice and lovely guy. Sometimes, I am a little afraid, it it possible this amazing love will also disappear? One day we would be bored with each other? When I thought about this, my heart was really aching.

I will try my best to love, but what if things will change one day? out of my control, out of anyone’s control?

Michelle it takes two, life gets in the way and it becomes a one man marching band and everyone is marching in the opposite direction to their own tune. The trick is to keep the feeling like you were only dating 8 months even though you have been together for 17 years. Hard thing to do, some make it some don’t, it boils down to alot of effort on both people. If you wake up and think of how can I help my partner today? and he can do the same for you… it’s a pretty good start. Respect can never cease. But again life happens and then you have to add a bunch of forgivness to the mix. I dunno I’m just rambling… but i do know there can be no takers it’a about giving. Making your partner the very best they can be above yourself, and they have to do the same in return or it doesn’t work.