Love help: I’m a single dad raising two little girls and I’m terrified I’m going to fail them. - Help.com

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You don’t need to know about these girly things to be a good dad. Just loving them and doing your best for them is being a good parent. You shouldn’t worry so much. My parents were divorced and and me and my sister lived for quite some time with my dad alone, he didn’t know about pigtails and nail polish, and so what I grew up hating barbies, but it’s not such a bad thing at all! And I didn’t turn out so bad in the end. :)

DONT let the spirit of fear get to you, guy. THAT stuff isn’t important. Maybe think about joining a church??? The girls can meet people at Sunday School/have a community???

LOVE is what children need. Consistency, how to learn how to live - manage problems, have a good attitude, focus on having peace and joy.

That other stuff - its not important. WHATever you do, make sure you get time ‘for you’ and aren’t just consumed with only parenting. You have to be ‘fed’ as well, and will be better for them that way.

Don’t despair. If you are Christian, shout me - I have GREat resources for you. If not, you can still shout…I think you’ll do fine since you clearly love them and are concerned about their well- being…they’re blessed to have you….

Start buying girly magazines, that stuff will prepare you for when they get a little older and calm down they love you soo much and look up to you but they know your not perfect you will make many mistakes raising them but you will never fail them as long as you are there. as for right now in the present just listen to them ask them questions and try your best to accomidate. if its a barbie they know your a boy and they are very foregiving for that most of the time if you dont do barbies hair right they will tell you and then show you how, as for the more serious stuff if there is any woman in your life that you can pick her brain do it and ask her every thing it doesnt need to be any one close to you just some one you know. you wont fail these girls you love them too much it is very obvious.

P..S Calm down I know that raisng kids is hard especially if they are girls and your not. You need to try stomping out the depression thing before you are no good to any one. this sounds so much harder than it really is. Ya girls are so much needier and complicated than boys but you can do this. all it takes is love. Just remember this is your only life and theirs too you are learning right along with them so make it seem like a game girls love games. and they have a natural instinct to learn things like cooking and cleaning so be patient and show themeverthing you know, and like I said before pick someones brain. If you dont teach them every thing they will be ok alot of girls dont even talk to their parents about female issues they go to their friends and figure it out but if the friends dont help then they may come to you. be patient and calm and go buy a book on it what ever it is there is probably a book or website. read it together. and allways let them know they can talk to about ANYTHING. and when they do be openminded cause if you loose you temper or freak out it may push them to not talk to you any more. good luck

live.enjoylife wrote:
LOVE is what children need. Consistency, how to learn how to live - manage problems, have a good attitude, focus on having peace and joy.

live.enjoylife is SO right! Love is all that your girls need - everything will come from that. Being a parent is just the best (but most difficult) thing. I mu to a 14year old daughter and I spent her early years trying to be the “perfect parent”. I always felt that I never quite did a good enough job. I loved her more than anything but couldn’t see that that was enough - spent time thinking of the things that I wasn’t so good at that I couldn’t see the stuff we got on great with. Thankfully now I can step back, stop feeling bad enjoy my beautiful daughter and acknowledge the stuff that I’m not so good without feeling bad. You obviously love your daughters and sound like you’re really working at being a dad. Don’t worry it will be enough.
Also don’t worry about being a single guy raising your girls although I’m a mum I’ve never been a very “girly girl” and am definately not good a pigtails, nail polish, barbies, or any “girlie” things. But we get by. My daughter loves girly things which I find hard to relate to - I look to my sister for help with this.

You’ll be fine. Women galore will give you advice. As for the depression…When I left my husband and faced being a single mother, I was scared to death and depressed. I said to myself, tears are only for night time. This way if I felt depressed during the day, I made it go away by knowing I had a time I could do that and that was at night after my daughter went to sleep. You’ll be back on your feet as soon as you get a good schedule going. Working and raising kids alone is very tiring and hard but a good schedule makes a world of difference.

Find another single parent and swap kids for one night a week for babysitting so you can go out at least one night to have fun. You need it to keep sane.

Always remember this…people will come and go from your life but your kids will be in it forever. And maybe… just maybe…you are less depressed than other men your age that have no kids and are totally alone. Xmas is coming….shop early.

I dont completly agree with the time to cry I dont judge for it but I allways let my kids in on my feelins cause how can they trust you with theirs if you cant trust them with yours. My kids have helped me through so much that no one else could ever begin to touch. their little voices allways cheered me right up. and their so thoughtful. alot of people say dont drag your kids in on it but I do everything with mine they are a part of my entire world and they are allways complimented on how wonderful and happy they are.

my heart goes out to you because I and every one else who has replied to you know without a shadowofadoubt that you love those girls and want only the best for them and they’re gonna get it because you love em so much you wouldnt have it any other way. can we exchange info i would really like to keep in touch with you please shout me

I’m a single dad co-parenting my daughter… can totally relate to this, it will pass and just try to get your head around the fact that kinda failing, or at least that feeling or fear, is normal and part of the condition of being a parent, we all have it it is just tougher when there is no other parent next to you. If you were not this way would be FAR more worrying and a sign you may actually be failing.

I nearly made a post just like yours, but then saw this! So chin up and keep the faith, you are not alone!

I’m the single father of 3 girls… 17, 10 and 9… my nine and ten year old are going on 30. I’m happy you don’t know much about girlie things… that’s not YOUR job. Your job is to be the daddy… the MAN. Trust me… they are wired for girlie things… those things will come automatically to them… or they’ll learn it from mom… Aunt Betty… Grandma.. somewhere. YOUR job is to teach them they can be independent… that they do not have to live a life full of emotion! Your job is to teach them it IS possible to fall down and scrape their knee AND GET BACK UP and FINISH the job! Your job is to be the MAN… for your daughters need this more than you think… and just as much if not more than the girlie thing!
Bright blessings~
Richard

you are a good dad and you arent going to fail them….they are so lucky to have you in their life, to love and care for them. you dont have to do girlie things to make them happy….they need a dad, someone who can love and care for them and give them everything they need. the best thing u can do for them is to give them ur all and the best of everything…u will do get and be a great dad

Ya ya, the most important thing is the love. The girls will have just as much fun with you if you feebly attempt to play barbie’s or if you take them to the park or to a big hole to roll in the mud. They just want you to play with them, ya know? And pigtails and nail polish just takes practice. I mean if you are careful and try you r best and just keep doing it you will learn, same as riding a bike or hammering a nail, you didn’t do it perfect the first time you tried, but I bet you can do it with out even thinking now. I am so proud of you!!! My daughters father has her as little as possible, and doesn’t even bother to make her take a bath when he does so a dad who is raising his girls is totally amazing and wonderful to me, even if he can’t make a perfect pony tail.

It’s me again the nagging one. We all have told you so very much and I hope you are able to take this and run. Because just asking for help and being concerned shows how much you care I cant say that I was raised by my dad because I didnt really meet him untill I was 11 yrs. Not that he didnt want to be there but that he got custody of all four of us in the divorce and my mother kidnapped us and ran away my dad searched and searched. My mom would tell us awfull storys about him and because we didnt know better we believed her then when he did come in to our lives we pushed him away. it wasnt untill I grew up that I found out the truth. I was crushed that I had treated my dad the way I did. WHen he found us my mom had no choice but to let me go live with him and because of the awfull things I thought I caused trouble to make him send me home. He had remarried and would talk about her and the kids all the time and I hated it, I thought he was bragging that his life was so much better without me so one day I got ahold of a phone and I called my mom and she came to get me and I never saw him again till I was sixteen my boy friend beat me up I mean to a pulp and almost killed me my dad was the first one there for me and he lived in a different state so at that point I gave him the chance he deserved and went to live with him and those were the best times of my life we talked and he showed me all the paper work from the divorce and the suppinas for my dad to appear in court for the kid nappings and my mother never showed and everything. I lost alot without my father cause my mom wasnt a very good parent. I have foregiven her for all she put me through as a child but my dads pain will never go away. So take this and pat yourself on the back put your head up high and know without a doubt that reguardless if you can braid, pig tail, paint fingers and toes, play barbie, or not none of it matters like Ms. Diet said she knew her father loved her and it got her through. I was without mine and I got through. you are doing so much more than alot of others. and because you are scared, depressed, hurt, confused, it shows that you will not fail. people who fail dont put forth the effort to succeed and you have put forth. So keep pushing take it one day at a time and breath you got this.