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You answered your own question when you said you found the Lord. I was driving down the road the other day, worrying about my own situation, when I read a bumper sticker on the back of another car. It read: “Turn It Over”. That’s what I would like to do because it’s sage advice. It’s difficult to do, but that’s what I need to do, and that’s what you need to do, too. Good luck. I’ll include you in my prayers.
god does not make mistakes we do. continue to pray . i will join you in prayer and ask for the LORDS’ best for you give him time to work, draw close to him and he will draw close to you, let me know what happens
I don’t know about the god bit, but I think you need to leave her alone, I mean 3 marriages already at only 33?! that has to be a sign of its own that you have a problem somewhere, you need to sort yourself out before you try to fix anything, and listening to others before thinking what your wife might need is totally wrong.
Also I thought god was against devorce? So how can you be “god told me this” when you in his eyes have already sinned 3 times with the broken marriages?
I don’t know It’s all beyond me, it seems like you use the ideals of god for the excuse and reasons you give to be sorry, when what you need to do is admit it was all you, you were wrong and you need to move on
You need to try & relax and let her have space. What do you love about this woman? You stated that you had some issues getting along, what were those issues? How long did you date her before you got married to her? If she wants you back in her life she will let you know, until than let her have her space. Don’t rely on using God as an excuse too much. He expects you to take care of yourself. I see that LazyDaze just replied, I agree with her! You wil be ok, just give it time and focus on making yourself a better man, not for to win her back, but so you feel better and don’t look to a woman to make you whole.
to lady, GOD forgives and cast our sins in the deepest sea and as far as east is from west. we need to forgive each other and ourselfs.
It sounds like this woman has gone through a horrible struggle and she will definitely need time to recover and heal. I think she is very smart to decide to take a break and get her heart put back together instead of just running back to you. If you love her that much, you can give her the space she needs and let her decide what is best for her.
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robkelle wrote:
to lady, GOD forgives and cast our sins in the deepest sea and as far as east is from west. we need to forgive each other and ourselfs.
He does forgive.. & God knows I thank Him for that.. However Lady was / is correct. If his first wife is still living then any woman he get with other than her he is commiting adultry. Each & every time he sleep with another woman besides his first wife. God’s forgiveness does not free him from his first marriage nor will he continue to forgive “willfully” continuing in adultry. Plus marriage is not a sin to be forgiven for. The divorce & marrying another was the sin. And yes he can be forgiven, If he repent & repent means to change or stop doing what you are sorry about. If a person stay with their second spouse clearly they haven’t changed so they must not be sorry for their sin.
Just to let everyone know, my 1st two marriages did end with them both cheating on me, I don’t feel guilt about re-marriage to Tonya because she is a believer and I am more then 99% sure she has not and would not cheat on our relationship. I have backed off, put it in Gods hands and gave her space to think and heal. I want all to know she has called me out of the blue for the last two nights stright. Last night she was worried because it has got a little cold down here and she wanted to make sure I had enough cover and was not cold. She still will not say I love you, but its a start just calling me. God is moving I can feel it. Please continue to pray for us and I will still give her space, and just let her know I am there if she and the boys need me. God Bless you all and thank you for your advice.
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Thank you Heather, I believe so also. I could feel the love she still has for me in her eyes when she kissed me then looked at me. I told her when she was leaving, because she was now late for work, that I hoped she would call and I hoped to talk to her tonight when she got off, She said I will see you when I get off. I have hope more then ever now and faith that continues to unfold.
God Bless
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Hand God a badly forged thing, and he may break it so it might be remade in truth and love.
Nice Oster.
Shawn,
I think space is good but, I also think she needs to know you are there and you are not abandoning her now. A pastor might be the way to go. Hold steadfast on to the lord, for he is the way, the truth and the light. Blessings to you & Tonya.
Pam
All the support and advice has kept me strong and going through this hard time. I just wanted to let everyone know how great GOD has been to me in answering my prayers and touching her heart. She stopped and talked to me 45 minutes or so yesterday on her way to work. We hugged and our eyes meet where we could only stare looking deep and frozen in what I know could only be true love, then she kissed me and it took 10 minutes, her being late for work and everything in our power to break the kiss. Around 9pm she called me from Griffin Hospital and said she had to transport a prisoner there and was going to be late getting home, she was upset because the girl I was telling you all about that is living with her and watching the kids, anyway her phone is out of time and she could not reach her to let her know. I was use to the late nights but the other girl was use to her being home at 10 on the dot everynight and had not seen these nights. She asked me if I would ride out there and let her know what was going on, she said she almost called the law to me in town and was still upset to be careful. She said if the girl got real upset to tell her and then go to the store down the road and wait for her, she would stop and talk and tell me goodnight. I prayed and went there. Yes she was upset at first and I asked her for 10 minutes to explain my feelings and side she said ok. So we went inside and talked. In 10 minutes time I poured my thoughts and feelings out and she understood and forgave me and told me she wanted Tonya happy and not hurt, wanted her to stop waking up 3-4 times a night crying her eyes out and talking about how much she loved me and missed my arms around her. She told me the guy friend who she had been talking to tried to make an advance at her and she rejected him for me and made him mad. She said he has texted her and called her cussing and telling her she owed him for his friendship and was irate when she told him she was talking to me and loved me. To make this a little shorter, the girl let me wait for her, she got home about midnight and was shocked to see me there, but happy to. I fixed her a plate, made sure she ate and got her night clothes on. The other girl went to bed and she wanted me to come in the bedroom and hold her, I held her tight telling her how much she ment to me and how I wanted to be nowhere else in the world but right there. I looked at her and asked her if I needed to leave, she grabbed me and said no but I could make love to her. I thought it was to soon and didnt want to hurt her, but would never leave her wanting me that way and turning her down, so carefully we did. I got up this morning and let her lay there and rest, Told her I was taking Zeb(my 8yo stepson) to school. She smiled kissed me and said please come home after work. I wanted to stop here at moms and post this before heading home. I have been blessed by Gods very hand and I will never let her go, and will die before I see her hurt again. God bless you all, you are in my prayers, I am off home to be with my family. God what a intervention I have my family back. He can truely do ANYTHING.
I’m getting confused. Tonya is the mother, and the other woman you slept with is who? How does she fit in? What are you trying to accomplish in your relationships?
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Congratulations, I’m glad you are back with your wife, keep tender to her needs, and she should do the same for you, find a church together and really let the power of God work in your relationship. Be blessed.
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