work help: ok pure and simple, the premise is as follows. - Help.com

furious.angel1981
offline Verified (2 years, 5 months) Visit furious.angel1981's shoutbox
Lundby, 28, SE

ok pure and simple, the premise is as follows.

since a few months back I’ve started to develop some feelings towards a coworker of mine, I find her funny, attractive and a great person to just be around. Now I don’t know if this is mutual, I’ve never been good at deciphering the female language, but I’ve considerd telling her about it, or simply asking her out (which really isn’t a simple thing for me…). But I’m just not sure, whatever I say, or do, I don’t want it to seem too casual “friendish”, but neither too serious…

And one of the biggest bothers is that if the feeling is not mutual, how will the work relationship be after? I’d hate to loose the great friend/co-worker I have.

Or if it is mutual, that too changes the co-worker/friend part.

Or if I don’t do anything…

All I know is I need to make a decision, fast, as I’ve been really distracted at work lately (due to many reasons, this being one), and I need to get my head cleared.
Doesn’t help the job if I occasionally suddenly get short of breath, or wake up late for work cause I’ve had trouble sleeping…

any advice?

This open post was written 2 years, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 216, 9, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post furious.angel1981 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. furious.angel1981 is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 5 months and has 3 posts and 2 replies to their name.

Post Tags (6)

Replies (9)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Izzy007 offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Lynn, I9, GB | 2 years, 2 months ago (3 minutes after post)

you could ask her out for a drink..

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: STUPID POSTS……!
cynthianix5 offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
US | 2 years, 2 months ago (18 minutes after post)

yes ask her out and let her know you would like it to be more than friends.
good luck

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Headless Chicken offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 2 months ago (31 minutes after post)

You’ve got it bad Bub ! Best do something positive about it.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Izzy007 offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Lynn, I9, GB | 2 years, 2 months ago (43 minutes after post)

positive like what???
hang on.. aint you got some washin to be gettin on wit needto..???

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: STUPID POSTS……!
fogmonste offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
GB | 2 years, 2 months ago (1 hour after post)

first thing you need to do is stop worrying about it so much. just relax and invite her out for a drink after work. that way you’ll get a better judge of how interested she is/isn’t. If it turns out she’s not, you can pass it off as a friendly drink, if it turns out she is, then you can take it from there!!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

furious.angel1981 changed the tags on this post: they were "hate, Feeling, work, Great, simple, late, Mutual, advice, relationship, co-worker" 2 years, 2 months ago.

pseudoniem offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Den Haag, 11, NL | 2 years, 2 months ago (2 hours, 6 minutes after post)

I agree with fogmonster, try to relax a bit. Most relationships develop sort of spontaneously from non-romantic to romantic. Just focus on becoming her friend, than you won’t risk anything if she’s not interested. If she is interested, she’ll give you a hint at some time. I have found that the best way for me to get a new partner is talk with someone all night (and I mean all night, untill morning). During work hours, nothing is likely to happen spontaneously, but you could develop a bond with her outside work: she’s nice and funny, you’re nice and funny, why not go to a comedy show together with drinks after? If necessary you can invite other co-workers the first few times. At some point or another, you may end up being alone with her and you’ll find out what she wants then. (Try bringing boring co-workers if you’re nervous).

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
pseudoniem offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Den Haag, 11, NL | 2 years, 2 months ago (2 hours, 7 minutes after post)

And if you’re friends first, things are less likely to turn ugly if you ever broke up again and had to work together.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
OccultPizz offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Spokane, WA, US | 2 years, 2 months ago (5 hours, 7 minutes after post)

It’s always a great rule to not mix work and relationships! However, if you must know because of the burning in your loins just tell her exactly what you told us, but do it somewhere a little more private ~smiles~.

Good luck.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.