friends help: I’ve been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve. - Help.com

being an impath in that intuitivity is used is very cool. but there is another type of empath, and that would be one closer related to psychics. that kind is bad cayse it would hurt people to much, but this kind is good. go on reading our thoughts, and do what you can stars.

I think that as long as it is in balance it is good. If it is used as a bondage, an excuse for bad behavior its not. the ‘well i cant help it i’m just sensitive’ excuse - no good…why should everyone tiptoe around someone who decides thats their bondage/they are constantly offended or wounded/have decided to continue to be that way, instead of work not to be, because it’s how ‘they are’…sometimes it is useful to change how we are if it is not working for us….(i have an ongoing person in my life like this, obviously hehe…omg i’m just spewing dont mind me!)…But - if it is used in balance - as a way to see others’ perspectives and not be self-centered, and to help others, I believe it can be good.
Of COUrse w/regards to you - good.!

Being an empath is a very powerful gift but as yours_dietcoke and Finely have said boundaries and balance are crucial. It took me years to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me…

I am an Empath that is why I have such a hard time in crowds, because I feel their misery, shallowness, and pain. It makes it very uncomfortable for me, even after 42 years ~smiles~. Empaths get sucked into emotions and those emotions become yours if you are not careful and able to decompartmentalize. That took me some time personally ~smiles~.

You can try and fake an inflection in your voice, but it doesn’t fool me ~smiles~.

You may very well be an Empath.

Occultpizz - funny you should say that I have always feel that being in a crowd just ‘assaulted’ all my senses and left me feeling drained and sad. I much prefer being alone or with a friend or two.

Aye, me too less taxing on the soul ~smiles~

All three things are not nessesarily exclusively related. Wearing your heart on your sleeve means you should never play poker. Wearing your heart on your sleeve means you lead with your heart, you do not (can not) hide your feelings or emotions. You can get hurt easily by wearing your heart on your sleeve. Some people will take advantage of people because they wear their heart on their sleeve. However, having empathy for someone means you are able to put yourself in their shoes - you can identify with their pain or their happiness. A social worker should have empathy for the people s/he deals with. A social worker should not wear their heart on their sleeve.
Now the tricky one - being an “empath” really is a new age concept though I am sure many will argue this point. I couldn’t find the word empath in the couple dictionaries I own. The on line dictionary did not find empath however I was refered to the on line encyclopidia. I did find “empath” mentioned several places on the internet: In referance to the original Star Trek, 3rd season, December 1968, there was an episode called “the Empath”. Star Trek the Next Generation, Deanna Troi was an empath. I also read empath as closly related to “Hyper-empathy” and in the same context as Psychic. So I guess an empath is suppose to actually read minds and feelings. Surely not the same thing as wearing your heart on your sleeve but could be related to empahy from which the word is derived. I guess this is a whole lot writing to say nothing conclusive. Just be careful wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Jewel has great song that says ‘I am sensative, and I would like to stay that way.

People often tell me that I take things too personally, I always reply that that is because I am a person.

It can be dangerous though when I focus too much on what is bad in the world. Empaths need to surround themselve with much good to avoid absorbing too much bad.

Yeah wearing you emotions on your sleeve does mean they are easily recognizable ~smiles~.

We’re in exactly the same boat on this one - I’ve had to go through a lot of re-adjustment to create boundaries and coping mechanisms. That said, I still consider empathy to be a very powerful gift.

I still wear my heart on my sleeve (my facial expressions are a dead giveaway), but I don’t ‘hide’ so much as I remove myself from unpleasant situations. After all, why should I subject myself to needless suffering? Strategic retreat isn’t the same as running away, and I’ve learned to honor my feelings in as constructive a way as possible rather than mask them (which is a near-impossibility).

I’ve also learned to trust people…I just measure and meter that trust very carefully. Friends are more dangerous than enemies - they are easily aroused to envy and possess knowledge that allows them to hurt you far more deeply if they choose.

So I trust my friends - just not with everything. And you don’t have to push people away; that’s actually counter-productive. It’s much easier to move oneself out of the way (see my statement about retreat).

I find that self-confidence plays a large role in human relations; so you may find that doing things you haven’t done or have been afraid to try will broaden your sense of ability (and thus, your general level of confidence in yourself).

Being an empath is a very powerful gift, It like a double edged sword but as yours_dietcoke, Finely and jade have said boundaries and balance are crucial. It can be both a curse and a blessing.

This is what I found on net it might help

Empathy is the ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one’s empath capacity.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly. Being an empath is a double edged sword. It can be both a curse and a blessing. On one hand, you have the ability to intuit exactly what you need to do to make someone comfortable. On the other, it is easy to lose track of what you need, because you are so accustomed to caring for other’s comfort before caring for your own. You have easy access to information about what is going on with the people around you, but sometimes it is hard to know your own mind.

This is what I found on net it might help

How to handle Confrontation with care

We look at times of conflict and confrontation, it is a good idea to consider what communication is all about in better times, with people that we are close to. If we cannot engage in direct and caring communication under these circumstances, then we will certainly not be able to do so during times of tension. On the other hand, if we do practice direct and caring communications during better times, it may be just the practice we need to communicate well under difficult circumstances.

Those two are love for the other person (or people) and respect for the other person.

Though love and respect are related to each other, they are not the same. We can love someone that we may not respect, such as a close family member who, through stubbornness and bad choices, has made a mess of his or her life. We can also respect someone that we do not love, such as a boss who is very competent and professional, but lacks a sense of warmth and caring.

Love is something we do with our heart. It may be conditional or unconditional; but the most genuine form of love is unconditional. We love our children whether they make good or bad choices

Respect is something we do with our head. When we recognize skill or integrity or some other good quality in another person, it makes an impression on our minds. Because of that, we give him or her respect.

Let’s return to our consideration of love and respect. At its core, love applies to all, and brings all together into connection and unity; respect is a function of truth, which distinguishes between good and bad, better and worse.

This is where our communication skills are put to the test. But it is more than simply communication skills that are being tested. It is our willingness . . . our commitment to love others as we love ourselves. What is being tested is our ability to care about and love others even when we tend not to respect them. If we cannot find it in our hearts to love the people that we are in a confrontation with, we will never be able to find enough respect for them to serve as a basis for direct and caring communication.

It may seem like too much to ask that we should love the people that we consider to be our opponents or enemies. It is easy to love those who love us; it is very difficult to love those who hate and abuse us . . . or those who we think hate and abuse us.

We would be wise to keep in mind when there is a conflict. When we are in the wrong, we tend to blame the other person for any difficulties or conflict. However, we may simply be projecting our own wrongs onto the other person. This is one of the first steps toward developing some respect for those we consider our enemies. If we can recognize that we also may be mistaken, or at least partially in the wrong, and that those we are confronting may have some valid grievances against us, then we have a beginning that can develop into respectful communication.

The other side of this coin–and this is what can enable us to develop the respect needed as a basis for direct and caring communication–is that we must actively look for the good and the right in the other person’s position, and actively work on understanding the other person’s grievances. Perhaps we are right and they are in the wrong in certain areas. But in other areas, we may be mistaken, and they may hold the key to helping us fix a problem that exists within ourselves and in our own actions.

Our natural tendency is to see only the good in ourselves and only the bad in those who oppose us. In order to engage in direct and caring communications, we must balance that. We must also be willing to see the wrong, or bad, in ourselves, and the right, or good, in the ones we are confronting. If we can do this, no matter what the outcome of the confrontation, our “opponent” will have done us a valuable service. He or she will have given us an opportunity to overcome some of our self-centered tendencies, and develop our capacity to love those we consider our enemies.

Confrontation with others must always be handled with care. There may be times to shout; there may be times to cry; there may be times to grow angry; there may be times to yield. If, during peaceful times, we develop the ability to express ourselves directly and honestly, yet with concern for the other person’s feelings, then perhaps during the more turbulent times we will have had enough practice at it that we can avoid a destructive blowup, or even worse, a cold war. Perhaps we can instead turn confrontation into a time to develop our character while building mutual understanding, respect, and even love.

Well said Sam123!

boy stars would i like to just sit and talk to you

you’re welcome stars :)
Thanks Dietcoke :)

wow. okay this is me to a T

i’m so glad you posted this. and if you’re the same way, then we have a lot in common. i don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. we actually care, and that’s a rare thing in this world. sure we might get hurt a little more, but we’re also able to experience joy and happiness more. they always say that animals can tell the soul of a person, so if we are intuitive with them…we must be pretty good people :O)

Wearing your heart on your sleeve (as you put it), is not really a bad thing. True, you should safegaurd your emotions but; it also gives an opportunity to explore everything going on in the world around you. Being shy is a virtue which some people find to be an attractive quality.

let’s just say i can empathize with that. so i agree with the idea that it is a good thing. but i wonder what it is like to be on the receiving end of that, what is it like to NOT understand another? why would another tell me that wearing my heart on my sleeve or being empathetic is wrong? is it possible that “they” know something that “we” don’t? “their” paradigm is no more justifiable than “ours”, and many times i am inclined to believe that it is about “their” comfort level. one time, i met someone and early on i knew that i had the capacity to love them very much. so i communicated that and was perfectly comfortable with it. shortly after that they disappeared. it would be nice to be surrounded by people who were just like “me”. but the short answer is, wearing your heart on your sleeve isn’t bad, but it is mostly dangerous.

When one wears there emotions on their sleeves;
they are usually left open for;

Friends coming and talking to them about their problems and expecting
you to kept them secrete. Without any concern about your own problems

Yet we tend to hide our problems as much as possible from everyone else
so friends look to us as very good listeners.

We expected to be exceptional problem solvers and when we can not come up with an answer for something then it seems the world is going to fall apart as if its our
fault

Anytime anyone is in trouble for any reason no matter how big or how small we are
the first to run to and last to be thank and/have noses shoved down at us

If we can not be there then the world is going to fall apart and it our fault and
we need to change things to fit their schedule guess what we do not

We say yes 99% of the time when most of those should be no’s

We need to start saying no more a lot more and start putting things back
where they should be

We need time for us too