friends help: Well I’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 years and - Help.com



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Well I’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 years

and I loved him sooo much.But anyways from the beginning of our relationship there was this girl that he grew up with and I knew well. The first 6 months we were dating, i caught her at his home with a few other friends. And i knew she previously liked him.It’s sorta like i caught him before she could. And now 4 1/2 years later she shows up calling and texting him, and everywhere she was he made plans to be alone and at the same place as her. Well when i confronted him he denied of course, then we seperated for a week. Then he stops calling me, and we started to drift apart more and more. Last time we spoke he told me that he loved me but didnt want to be with me anymore and that i wasnt what he wanted.And that hurt me so bad b/c i had gave him everything i had.I felt that he would always be there for me! and he’s done nothing but let me down since. Its so hard to try to erase what i thought we had. Now he is openingly talking to her and it has only been a month! Its tearing me apart. I need advice on how to move on!!

This open post was written 2 years, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 191, 5, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Subscribe to Replies | Report Post


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live.enjoylife offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 2 months ago (10 minutes after post)

well- you’re just gonna have to move on sister. get involved in new activities, start volunteering somewhere, find new hobbies. it sucks i know but you’re going to have to grieve some but mostly have discipline surrounding your thoughts/letting yourself get consumed….when you start thinking and thinking about it - stop, and do other things/focus on something else.
over time it will get better and you WIll meet someone else, someone who knows Youre the prize. sorry - i know lovesick is the pits - but look at it this way - wasn’t meant to be - theres someone better for you out there. take from this whatever lesson you think might be there and just move yourself on.

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Help me with: THIS IS FOR SOULsaver
greglmauro200 offline Unverified User #
San Diego, CA, US | 2 years, 2 months ago (11 minutes after post)

It appears to me that the guy never was totally committed to you. He had this other girl all this time and when you call him on it, he leaves. It is good that it ended before you got married and had kids. That would of made things much more complicated. I don’t know why some of my fellow men feel as if they have to have a safety net. That is what you were to him. It may be harsh but if he wanted to be with you, he would have drawn the line with the other girl.

As to how to move on. You need to do things that interest you. Getting involved, doing activities and helping others helps people to reach outside themselves. The pain will still be there but it goes away with time. Take this time to learn new things, make new friends and grow as a person. DO NOT TALK TO HIM AGAIN. If he calls, tell him that you need to have a clean break.

Take care and good luck to you.

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laffingirli offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 2 months ago (14 minutes after post)

Stop thinking about him. It’s your thoughts that are making you feel the way you do, you are in control of your thoughts and they give rise to the way you feel.

Let it go, focus on doing the things you always wanted to but couldn’t with him around. Put yourself first, you deserve the best out of life, not being with someone you no longer trust.

People come and go, make the most of the moment and appreciate all the lessons you learn.

We only have bad relationships so that we can recognise a good one when it comes along.

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Fyreteach offline Unverified User #
Wyoming, MI, US | 2 years, 2 months ago (34 minutes after post)

You know, I see all these replies, let him go, or dont think about him anymore, or get involved with something, volunteer. That is all a bunch of crap if you ask me. There are people asking for help and everyone gives solutions that are so darn obvious but completely impossible to do.

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live.enjoylife offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 2 months ago (8 hours, 22 minutes after post)

its not really impossible fyreteach, its choices. you dont have to think every thought that drops in your head and follow dark thoughts/feelings…and probably people are doing there best in thinking of solutions. what suggestions do you think are more useful?

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Help me with: THIS IS FOR SOULsaver

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