Year help: Something happened to me when I was little. - Help.com

*hugs* oh Mittens!!! i love you…well done on posting it…first of all…my advice will totally suck..it is most certainly a big deal, no matter what it was, it is still bothering you, so it was definitely bad. *hugs again* this is as far as i can go, ill let people with better advice take it from here..

Um well I think if u feel u can trust them you should express. But if u dnt trust dem i think u should figure out a way 2 let it out. Putting off something doesnt mean it wont come back

Mittens, here is the situation. If something happened to you at the hands of others against your will it is always a big deal. If you were victimized in any way you are not capable of getting yourself through it in a positive way because you are operating from the position of a victim. Victims need help. We are all here to help you gain a fresh perspective and understanding of your place in this experience. If it was a sexual attack the faster you can share it with others the faster you will be able to experience others expressing anger for you against your attackers. Without knowing more details it is difficult to offer much more at this point. Are you ready to set yourself free from their hold? Lets talk.

Mittens, it is OK for you to tell any one you want to every single detail of what they did to you because THEY did it to you, YOU did not do it to you. You are totally blameless and their actions defined who THEY were, not who you were in any way. Can you see this? Want to talk more?

Mittens, if others harmed you against your will there is no reason to carry their guilt and shame for them, is there? Until you can set yourself free from the responsibility of their choices and actions, you will continue to to suffer and relive the pain of the experience every day. You were victimized once but until you can do this for yourself you will needlessly suffer well into the future. Think of the pain you would have saved yourself if we were there with you that day right after the attack and when you told us what was done to you we would have immediately reassured you that you were totally blameless, and then you would have looked into our eyes and witnessed the anger and rage we would have displayed toward your attackers. At that point we would have gone directly to the police and filed charges against them on your behalf because they deserve punishment for their crimes.

If it worries you, however little you may think it is then it is a big deal, and you have the right to make it so, don’t judge your problems against other peoples you are your own person and you to know that me and everyone else won’t think its not a big deal as if it upset you then it upsets us too.
I hope you find the strength to let it out and feel brave telling others, you should never feel ashamed about something you had no control over.

Mittens, how old were these boys? You are older and wiser now Mittens. What do you think about them telling you it was all your fault? Sounds like a crock of crap to us.

How about this Mittens. Today was the last day you will ever wake up feeling guilty and ashamed. Would you like that?

Mittens, we thought you would. Let us explain a couple more things to you that will help you understand. You were a small child and sex of any kind was not part of your reality at that time. There is no way you could have provoked 3 older boys to harm you sexually. The truth is that these boys were trying to duck responsibility for their actions and wanted you to pay the price. Because you were young and didn’t tell anyone about it you could not hear that these 3 boys were in fact committing a crime against you that could have earned them jail time. They did not care how much you would suffer throughout your life. Their only concern was to do what they wanted and not suffer any consequences. Can you see this? Now you are 13 and if a small girl comes to you and confides that 3 boys did similar things to her and told her it was all her fault what would you tell that little girl?

Mittens, the reason you have always looked at it as being your fault is because your attackers told you it was your fault. You were small and were not able to process that all by yourself just like any other little girl would not be able to. Your job today is to see all of this in truth and reality as it was really done to you and for whose benefit and then change your perspective from what you thought before to what you now know is truth. Do you think you can do that for yourself today?

Mittens, we are very happy that you think you can. Just look out into your life and see all the guilt free and shame free days ahead of you. Don’t they look like they will be much more fun to live through then your recent days? Here is why this is so important for you to accomplish today. As time passes we tend to become professional victims in our lifetimes and we don’t know about you but we know that we have never encountered one happy victim in our life times. Does this make sense to you?

So Mittens, how do you feel now?

Mittens, How can we help you over the hump, once and for all. It is in your best interest to put this issue to rest for you today.

Mittens, do you know these boys? Are they still in your life? Do you carry any guilt about any of your actions that day?

Mittens, can you pinpoint the source of the guilt that still remains? Can you put it into words because then we can zero in easier? Just remember that you can decide to judge yourself “NOT GUILTY” just as easy as judging yourself “GUILTY”.

Mittens, do you know any little girls that are about the same age as you were when this happened to you? If you do take some time and just look at them and try to imagine them doing anything that cause 3 older boys to harm them the way you were harmed. We think you would be hard pressed to come up with a reason to blame that little girl and hold her responsible for the rest of her life. Once you do that then you will be able to ask yourself why you cling to the self destructive concept that you were responsible for what they did to you.

Mittens, it is one thing to tell yourself that it was not your fault, and another thing to see it was not your fault with your minds eye. Are emotions respond more to what we can see with our minds eye as truth. You have believed completely what your attackers told you while manipulating you into silence and you must now see that and develop a louder, stronger, more committed voice to overrule the crap they put in your head long ago. Once you can actually see truth it will go away for sure. At that point you will be able to tell anyone you want without feeling any shame or guilt or a need to keep it a secret. You can become a powerful voice that can warn others of these predators of children and the pain they cause their victims. Can you see yourself free?

I think you can do it mittens, it was easier for them to turn te blame on you, it gave them the power trip they were after and now you need to break that hold they have on you, I think candp is totally right and you should listen, it won’t happen over night and it won’t stop the hurt you feel but it will make you love yourself and let your inner self free from the cage you keep it in.

what happened?

viki you need to read the post and all the replies

Mittens, you won’t believe how good it is going to feel. Let it go, sweetie, let it go.

Well done :D
I hope you feel better for it soon
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Yeah, sweetie! You go, girl!

Mitts, you need any help you look us up, ok? All the power to you!

Oh, wow, Mittens. You were so brave to post this, and ask for help to overcome it. Thank you for sharing, and trusting us with this secret. *returns the hug*

Thank you for asking for help. The longer you carry this alone, the worse it will eat you up inside. Trust me, I know.

Every word of your post hit home with me. I went through all the same hell. It’s much less a shadow on my life now, but of course it’s something that never goes away. Reading your post brought s lot of things back. Somehow you find the courage to move on.

I was a little older than you were. I was eleven. I was in the wrong part of town. It was three policemen. They messed with my head. They brought me into the woods. Much later I realised they ways they manipulated me, that it wasn’t my fault at all. They had no right to do this. Nor did the boys who abused you. They were wrong.You are not guilty. You were a victim. Understand this. Learn not to be a victim again.

There’s something I feel it’s important I say to you. You’re still very young, and I don’t know if it will make sense. But what happened to you, and your confusion about it, can lead you to become a victim of abusive people later in life. This is why it’s very important for you to deal with it now. I realise that the reason you posted about this is that there is no one near you that you can trust to talk about this. I know that I couldn’t talk about what happened to me with anyone for many years. Is there anyone you trust at all? I know how hard it is to carry something like this, and I know how hard it was to even imagine telling somone. But if you can, it might save you a lot of suffering lster. You are a courageous girl. You have spirit. This doesn’t have to be a stain on your life

I’m so happy to hear that. I wish you the best.

brendanfreel’s totally right. fix your feelings now and you’re less likely to be victim again. I think your really brave talking about this and think highly of you trying overcome it. Its hard to overcome these things, but i know you can do it :) If anyone in Anyway Whatsoever makes you feel uncomfortable, you tell them, dont be quie and none objective, tell them, shout your opinion and get away. I had something that happened to me when I was about 6. and two more boys made me feel real bad later when I was older. I was still a victim. I didnt stick up for myself and I believed the words of the last person’s bullcrap. Just because someone says something does not mean what they say is right. Always go with what YOU think is right.you are the priority