[Help] Im still in love with my ex! Updates to this post /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:54:15 +0100 Reply from always_losing_button /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-5255645 All Im going to say is that since the day I met him, although neither of us knew it, for nearly a year I fell deeper and deeper in love with the man of my dreams, and he fell just as hard. And by the time we knew it had happened, we were in love. But got married 10 years before I ever met him, has a 9 year old daughter, and is 30 years my senior. Im 18 years old. He’s my best friend. I know I’ll meet someone else but he’s the man of my dreams and Ive never felt what Ive felt with him. He tells me that its out of love that he tells me to find another guy,but it hurts. And when I think of not being near him, although to this being an affair I only get to see him a couple hours a week, I feel this pain in my chest. I dont want him to leave his wife because Im almost 19 and Im not ready to settle down which is what he wants now, but I cant imagine being with anyone else. And I dont want him to leave his wife because Im scared we wont work out and then he’ll be alone. Fate is cruel.

]]> always_losing_button Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:18:26 +0100 Reply from neversayneve /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-4478341 Look, I don’t claim to know the answers to any of these difficult questions. In fact, I don’t think there are any “right” answers to this sh*t. You can be happy with lots of people but HAPPIEST only with one. The one lucky you’re enough to meet at the right place, right time, has what you need and needs what you’ve got and be willing to split the cab fare. And by “cab fare” I mean all the stupid, tedious, unromantic and annoying but inevitable and necessary details involved in getting on with life. So… how to find her/him? I feel like we should all just try our very best to look within ourselves and figure out what we are feeling, what we are looking for, what will make us happy… in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, at the dinner table, in the car, in bed, in connection with family, in connection with children, in connection with recreational drugs, in connection with politics, in connection with everything that you think about when no one is around and when there are way too many people around. Then, and only then, can we start to incorporate someone else into the equation. I’m no expert but I just feel very strongly that that should be the sequence of events. Two years ago, my husband and I got a divorce. After several months of meditation, reflection and self-evaluation, I take full responsibility for the breakdown of our relationship. I won’t go too into it, but, in a nutshell, I had lived the last 15 years of my life looking for EXTERNAL affirmation for my value as a person rather than just feeling that confidence within myself. I see now that this unhealthy need placed an entirely unfair amount of pressure on him; it would on anyone, really. It’s so very dysfunctional. Your partner should be just that: your partner - not your therapist, motivational speaker, parent, babysitter, cheerleader, enabler or emotional crutch. Seems simple enough but, honestly, I didn’t get it until weeks, months after the break-up. I speak to him still. I think we both know that we belong together. It’s very strange because I am in another relationship now. With a wonderful person. And, in a strange way, I feel like I will serve some purpose in his life, in the way that we all cross paths to learn certain lessons or whatever. I love him and respect him very much. It’s just that I, somehow, just KNOW, that my ex-husband and I will be together again. Some day. We may be in our 80s and just hold wrinkled hands across our futuristic, hover wheelchairs or it may be happen sooner – I don’t know. I have just recently come clean with myself about these feelings. Next steps are telling both my current partner and my ex. Without this communication, how the f***** could I complain about nothing going my way, right?

]]> neversayneve Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:43:37 +0100 Reply from stupidgirl1 /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3719809 I broke up with my ex of many years and am not longer in touch with him. But I still very much love him. There’s just no reason for me to be friends with him again because he is very messed up and a “happily ever after” ending for us is impossible. So I’ve broken ties and am trying to stop loving him. But it’s been a year and the feelings aren’t budging. It sucks.

]]> stupidgirl1 Fri, 09 May 2008 17:11:51 +0100 Reply from dianalain /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3530971 i was married 27 years got divorced he married my girlfriend i also had a 3 yr relationship with someone but it didnt work out since he hated my adult children and did not want to work although through most of this time my ex husband and i talked almost every day. we have seen each other the past couple of months hugged and kissed passionately. i don’t know what to do next i definitely want him back but he gives me mixed messages. i know he is not happy with her but i don’t know what he really wants we are both 50 years old and have known each other since we were 7 years old any advice

]]> dianalain Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:15:24 +0100 Reply from chrisbooboo8 /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3515198 im in a diffrent situation me n my ex went out for about 2months we really loved each other.he broke up with me and said it was because of my freinds.about a month went by and we didnt speek then he starts texting me out of the blue but it was just regular things like whats up what are you up to and crap like that.i still like him but i dont know if he wants me but he so confusing one day he will be super nice the next he will ignore me i cant move on.i need someone to help me figure out my situation!!!HELP!!!!

]]> chrisbooboo8 Fri, 07 Mar 2008 00:36:19 +0100 Reply from flower_power_1200 /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3474491 The truth is always the best. Yes you should tell her BUT don’t make it sound like Oh My God i need you I love you. Just Simply say I’m still in love with you. Hell if its been 4 years then, yes you NEED to tell her. Thats love hun. If she doesnt feel the same way simply say ok thats fine. Try to seem as happy as possible when you talk to her as if you never told her that you loved her still. If you do act all depressed and sad and make her feel guilty then she’ll feel very uncomfortable being your friend. So just be honest. I dont know what the “other” issues are but if she is seeing someone else its going to be rare for her say shes still in love with you. But thats one of the risk your taking. In any of the ‘other’ issues. Its all risky!!! BUT STAY STRONG, HAPPY, and HONEST!

]]> flower_power_1200 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 02:02:34 +0100 Reply from AJF /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3457742 I’m in a similar situation - or rather somewhat like it.
Two people ‘accidently’ fell in love really - not the crush stuff - a few years ago. We had been stuck in a snowstorm with a bunch of others and started to play and flirt a bit, then one morning it hit us, it was wonderful and yet so painful as well as confusing as not only were we both shipping out to seperate locations that same day, but there were other ‘issues’ against our being together. We continued to communicate daily for months before one of us - me - decided that despite my feelings, it was best not to act on them.
We have kept in touch as friends and I have just relocate to the UK from the USA where she is.
I hav’nt thought about this for a long while, but i realize that I still am very much in love with her and expect to remain in love with her no matter what…. Do i tell her this or is this unfair after 4 years - I’ve IMed her to say I need to talk - but am twisted as to what i should do - it is’nt easy to be human.

]]> AJF Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:37:16 +0100 Reply from logleave /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3445285 what if you have two kids together. because i am in the situation where my wife left me and told me that she dont love me. but i still love her. and it is hard to cut all contacts because of the kids. so what can someone do in my shoes. sometimes it i think that she wants to get back. but then sometimes it looks like she don’t.

]]> logleave Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:13:59 +0100 Reply from mysecret2succes /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3245554 the first guy was right. It’s the butterfly syndrome. Let it go, if the two of you really share love, then you’ll find each other again. Love is cosmic, not carnal. Just let it be. I know your heart has a lot of anxious desire, but control it. You have to fall in love all over again. And if it’s true, it’ll be so much better this time. Why? Because this go around you won’t have to say, “If only I knew then what I now…” At the same time, try to remember that everyday is a learning experience, so you will never know everything. That’s what keeps a relationship strong and interesting–something new all the time.

]]> mysecret2succes Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:46:08 +0100 Reply from Anonymous /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3162956 I have been in the same situation, my ex broke up with me, but continued to text me all the time. We were supposed to still be “friends”, but his texts were inappropriate for just friends, i.e when I started to date other guys he would tell me i was too good for them, that he didn’t want me to go out with certain people etc..

Anyway, the point is that I think it is completely unfair of ex’s to do this, as the fact that my ex text me all the time made me think he still had feelings for me, therefore made it really hard to get over the relationship and move on. I would say that cutting off all comunication with your ex is the best thing for you, it may not be good for her, but she broke up with you, so she has to accept that you are not going to be there for her anymore… which she choose. Don’t have to cut off communication forever, just until you can feel over her and she has moved on to, then you can start trying to be friends.

]]> Anonymous Sun, 14 Oct 2007 20:27:24 +0100 Reply from abinell /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3162198 she still has feelings for you but she is confused. she probaly bored with herself and needs something new (the new guy) but she knows she will be safe talking to you. just let her have some time she will realize. if it is 4 months from now or a year from now she will be kicking her self in the butt when she thinks how good you were to her. i know cause i was that girl once

]]> abinell Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:46:25 +0100 The post was edited by lovermexican0 /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3648527 lovermexican0 Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:27:29 +0100 Reply from hampsterman2 /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3162177 i’m in the same situation, man. don’t let these people tell you what to do; the jist of them will give you the “buck up and move on” speech. scew that. stand back and examine the situation. do you HONESTLY believe some part of her loves you? consider that your reasonable doubt and move on it. go about this on your own terms.

]]> hampsterman2 Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:26:24 +0100 Reply from insaneriot /post/102769-im-still-in-love-with-my-ex#reply-3162173 well sometimes people fall in love with people who hurt them. dont ask why, they just do. D: if you have tried everything you can already then you should let her go. like how they say if you truly love someone, you will let them go and if they are meant for you, they will come back. keep moving on with ur life. and if she wants to come back to you later and you still love her, then you know it was meant to be :)

]]> insaneriot Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:23:18 +0100