[Help] Age difference in relationships. Updates to this post /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:34:10 +0100 Reply from Anonymous /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5566248 missandreaan - I posted this question two years ago. I dated the man for about four months, and he did indeed become a ******* ******* and a control freak. I want to look back on this experience and learn from it, but as it stands, I regret doing it. Perhaps this will change in time. I should have taken my apprehension as a sign to think it over before I got too involved. I am grateful to have it behind me, and . . . don’t blame age, necessarily, but something about our situation raised a flag. I didn’t listen to my proverbial “gut” and should have had. Thank you for your words. All the best to you.

]]> Anonymous Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:07:33 +0100 Reply from missandreaan /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5546687 As long as trust, love and respect exhists, age is no issue.
However, I am speaking also from experience from reality of it . . .I am with a man nearly 13 years older than I.. . We had been friends for several years and have now been romantically in a relationship for nearly a year. I had fallen pregnant shortly before christmas and things have changed drastically. Prince charming took a vacation and now I am with Mr. Control freak to the point that his inscurity is brinigng on verbal and emotional abuse. I am not saying this will happen for everyone. . .but to put it in a nut shell, I am in a place where life is just begining and is still an adventure for me, where as he was everytthing to be a business deal to try and “catch up with the Jones’” (ie.having the wife and family and picture perfect life as his friends and family does).
Just a warning, there is a good possibility that as secure as you both seems with the difference in age.. . there are HUGE obstacles we over look too quickly. When you make this commitment to someone, know that you could possibly be raising teenagers and an approaching-elderly man. Make sure the RESPECT and LOVE is firm if this is what you want. It will be hard, but that does not mean impossible to deal with.
I now understand that I am sacrificing alot of when I wanted out of a relationship (securilty, companionship, growing old TOGETHER) by being in this partnership. And if he treated me well, it would not be an issue. But none-the-less. . .
I myself used to be so confident in my relationship, but now in a position where I am going to be a mommy in 6 months and in an unhealthy and awkward reltionship where he feels I owe him my next 50 years to “look after” him as he put it. I never thought till a few months ago, “what about me?” and I now do wish I was with someone years younger than he is. . .just to have the same experiences and outlook and time together. . .Perhaps this is selfish ? But I think there is an important point to be made of this: there are some men, such as mine, whom age has made them desperate and selfish . . . if they are too soon to say “i love you” and too quick to promise you the world. . .they are just as likely to take back the respect that should come with both of thoes things.
Afterall, what man would not feel proud at the fact that he, in his forties, lays claim on a young woman in her twenties?
Again, sorry to be so negative. . but trust your heart and your gut and YOUR BRAIN. I just hate the thought of watching myself feel “trapped” in this situation and would love it if someone had opened my eyes to this possibility . . .
However . .the romantic in me still believes in true love. . .just be careful ! :)

]]> missandreaan Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:04:32 +0100 Reply from TulipsDream /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5322568 wow…

]]> TulipsDream Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:10:51 +0100 Reply from warcat50 /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5322019 Thanks people , I met someone who is 17 yrs younger than me. I was wondering what the reaction would be if we were to get together. I don’t think his mother would be happy but she is living with a guy 14 yrs younger than her so can’t really say too much. I don’t think my family would be thrilled though how does one deal with that. I will be 44 and he is 26.

]]> warcat50 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:32:57 +0100 Reply from postmodernfairytale /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5171840 Can you elaborate a bit? That sounds exactly like me (age dif, separate cities) and what you said about not being candid/not interacting with schooling and youth opportunities interested me. Do you two tell others about your relationship? Are your parents okay with it?

]]> postmodernfairytale Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:57:52 +0100 Reply from ewest06 /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5171346 The man I am seeing is 19 3/4 years older than me. I am 18, he is nearly 38. We are very aware of the social conflict our relationship causes so we try not to be too candid with it. We both live in separate cities. We are both sure that he does not interact with my schooling and the opportunities that come up in my youth. I don’t think there is anything wrong with us being together, as long as he is not holding me back. Which he isn’t.

]]> ewest06 Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:39:43 +0100 Reply from postmodernfairytale /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-5118485 The age difference between my partner and I is 27 years… and we are perfect together.

]]> postmodernfairytale Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:16:10 +0100 Reply from hiebcaroly /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-4940785 Love is love - but in America, I’m not sure - everything has a rule…. ageism is a huge problem here…. I think people really lose out on opportunities for real love - but they grow more superficial every day. If you have things in common and you really love that person, it shouldn’t matter.

]]> hiebcaroly Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:37:11 +0100 Reply from x-emily-jane- /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-4573789 age diffrence in a relationship means nothing, love is love reguardless of your age
and if your family and friends love you they will support you

]]> x-emily-jane- Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:40:17 +0100 Reply from amanda.i.doyl /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-4211853 My bf is 10 years older than me, and as long as your happy it doesnt matter what other people think.

]]> amanda.i.doyl Thu, 11 Sep 2008 10:05:31 +0100 Reply from jcorone /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-4104192 I think that the biggest problem with age difference in a relationship (besides one of the people in the relationship being under 18) is the negative reactions of family, friends, co-workers, etc. I am 19 years old and will be 20 in one month. I have been seeing a guy who is 35 and we are completely in love. He does look particularly young for his age and I actually thought he was around my age when I met him. We are best friends besides being in a relationship. A few of of my friends know and like him a lot and my mom knows as well. I still haven’t told my dad his real age, yet he has met him and thinks he is in his early 20s (thanks to him looking young!) He actually has a 4 year old daughter as well from a previous relationship who he sees on the weekends which is hard, but I love kids and when I see her it’s fine. I am apprehensive sometimes about this age difference, but him and I both know we are in the relationship for the right reasons and I believe that’s all the matters!

]]> jcorone Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:39:13 +0100 Reply from TulipsDream /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3999125 I would mention that you are dating someone, but not show them, and say you’ll introduce him when you guys are getting serious. When you get older age doesn’t matter as much

]]> TulipsDream Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:56:30 +0100 Reply from rowinchic8 /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3999114 I just turned 19 and my boy(man)friend is 31. 12 years different..His parents know about me but I have yet to tell my parents. I hate not telling them and we’ve only been in a relationship for like 2 months, but I really really really like him and honestly think we’re going to keep dating when I go back to college in a month. My friends know about him and some coworkers know, but no one in my family knows. How do you bring that up… “hi–i’m dating a man…yeah, he’s 12 years older than me. cya!” if i say one thing about being in a relationship with a healthy normal 31 year old man, my conservative family valued family will flip. I don’t like going longer without telling them. HELP.

]]> rowinchic8 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:51:09 +0100 Reply from TulipsDream /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3804964 illegal, wait until ur 18 i doubt u’ll feel the samew baout him when hes 30 something and ur just starting ur life

]]> TulipsDream Mon, 02 Jun 2008 19:26:59 +0100 Reply from sweet_candy_apple /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3802904 what about a 16 year old girl and a 24 year old man?? OK or not??

]]> sweet_candy_apple Mon, 02 Jun 2008 03:24:30 +0100 Reply from TulipsDream /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3701508 I really believe that age difference doesn’t matter with true love. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions and he really doesn’t need your opinion unless he asks for it.

]]> TulipsDream Sun, 04 May 2008 14:02:02 +0100 Reply from janstrin /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3700780 My son is 24 and he is dating a woman who is 47. I do not think this is a good thing. Especially when he wants to give up his career and move to her home state 3,000 miles away- Just to be with her. She is divorced and has 2 kids.
what do you think?
yankeefan

]]> janstrin Sun, 04 May 2008 05:06:17 +0100 Reply from lidamahdav /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3586358 well lucky u…my bf is 7 years younger and his mum is doing everhthing to keep is apart but we still really love each other… we’ve been together for a year…do u think she’ll give up?

]]> lidamahdav Mon, 31 Mar 2008 23:29:37 +0100 Reply from Anonymous /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3325630 Thanks magickmuffin.

I was hoping for someone to say something out of experience. . .

I do worry about it, since it’s become rather apparent it’s impossible for us to hang out with each other’s groups of friends.

That bothers me. But then again, could be worse, I’m sure.

]]> Anonymous Sat, 29 Dec 2007 22:09:39 +0100 Reply from neveragain /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3324107 the question is, are you feeling the age difference? and the next question is, is it bad?
the last seven people i have dated have been younger than me, four of them by ten years, one by nine years, one by seven years…i look younger than i am and the young ones go for me. i guess i go for the young ones too.
my current boyfriend is ten years younger than me. sometimes i sense the difference in that i am more experienced in virtually everything and i have traveled more also. it doesn’t bother me or him. so, you can do it, if you want to. caution: beware of others judging you.

]]> neveragain Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:54:59 +0100 Reply from мїѕѕ∙вєє /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3323537 My ex bf was 12 yrs older than me and my current is 8 yrs older… maybe im just attracted to older guys…???

]]> мїѕѕ∙вєє Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:50:28 +0100 Reply from crzy_4_him /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322968 age doesnt matter at all.. well unless its illegal, then you should wait but early 20s and early 30s thats fine who cares? as long as your ok with it then everyone else will be too

]]> crzy_4_him Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:37:16 +0100 Reply from OliveOil /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322956 Hmm… I don’t have a problem with it either. Maybe it is because I have a crush on someone who is quite a bit older than myself. It can’t be helped though… so many wonderful qualities I admire, respect and can learn from. :) I think this could be the case either way though for some folks.

]]> OliveOil Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:26:32 +0100 Reply from Ggjett92 /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322918 i have no problem with the ae diffrence

]]> Ggjett92 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:50:51 +0100 Reply from mou /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322811 My parents married when they were 13 years apart, so I guess I’m OK with it. Just make sure you’re making good choices. :-)

]]> mou Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:06:23 +0100 Reply from TulipsDream /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322685 doesnt matter. never matters as long as its love

]]> TulipsDream Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:57:24 +0100 Reply from Oster: Gettin' It. /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322654 No problem in and of itself. If you two like who the other person is, tend to bring out the best, all those time-of-life things are just what they are, and there’s time-of-life things no matter your age.

]]> Oster: Gettin' It. Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:29:53 +0100 Reply from anabeaver /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322636 My fiance is 10 years younger than I am….He is 26, but he works a lot, his job is very demanding and he said that when he dated girls his age, they didn’t like his hours and couldn’t put up with his work schedule. We do have some issues, but they would be the same no matter what his age or mine. If you are compatible….the age really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. There are times that I make it a big deal, just because, at 36, I feel like there are things on my body that aren’t standing up to a 20 somethings body, if you know what I mean….but I think that all women feel that way at one time or the other…no matter how old there partner is.

]]> anabeaver Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:11:47 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322615 I agree that it is not with the age, it is the level of maturity. There are old people who behave oddly like kids and there are younger ones who are more matured in handling things. The key is get to know the person’s way of handing situations and emotional capabilities.

]]> ☆lilies☆ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:00:28 +0100 Reply from annie.dol /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322599 I met my soul mate 12 years ago, been married for 8…… 23 years age difference, age is just a number, if two people connect the only people who may have a problem with age are those who are insecure with their own relationships. Enjoy your love.

]]> annie.dol Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:49:06 +0100 Reply from Loredo /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322591 No, I agree with that, but in some circles it may be easier still.

Just curious :P

]]> Loredo Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:45:26 +0100 Reply from ♥Miki♥ /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322590 No, I don’t think it matters who’s older really. The whole “man must be the superior” is just a stereotype in my opinion. I don’t think it really makes a difference. Except maybe to teenagers.

]]> ♥Miki♥ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:44:21 +0100 Reply from Loredo /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322589 Ok, is the guy older, or the girl?

That would make a diff, no?

]]> Loredo Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:43:08 +0100 Reply from ♥Miki♥ /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322588 I third Rah and Anon’s answer. As long as they’re both adults (meaning not minors) and they’re responsible. Love knows no boundaries or age limits. My parents were almost 12 years apart in difference and it worked out just fine.

I say go for it too. Love conquers all, even birthdays.

]]> ♥Miki♥ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:43:06 +0100 Reply from BrodyKemp /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322586 I guess what I’m saying, is be careful…
…only you really know the other person.

Falling in love is great, and seriously:
“Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”

I say…
Go for it!

(If it helps, every guy I know my age is with an older women…and quite happy)

]]> BrodyKemp Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:41:47 +0100 Reply from dadafwaedgfrawd /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322584 As long as you both are in love =)

]]> dadafwaedgfrawd Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:41:06 +0100 Reply from Anonymous /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322582 thanks everyone

I guess I’m just worried I don’t have enough to offer here. Brody kinda seconds my thoughts.

]]> Anonymous Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:40:52 +0100 Reply from BrodyKemp /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322573 I believe the age difference isn’t a problem…
…but the maturity level might be.

At 30yrs you may know exactly what you want, however;
Being in your 20’s is an odd time in life. I know for sure that
4 yrs ago (when I turned 20) I had no clue what I wanted from life…
…hell, I still dont.

Something like this could make, or break, a relationship.

]]> BrodyKemp Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:38:00 +0100 Reply from Anonymous /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322569 rah has it exactly right.

]]> Anonymous Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:37:29 +0100 Reply from Loredo /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322566 What’s the rule?

Older person’s age divided by two plus seven.

Or whatever.

]]> Loredo Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:36:30 +0100 Reply from yuvgy /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322564 I second that

]]> yuvgy Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:34:29 +0100 Reply from SARAH! /post/120443-age-difference-in-relationships#reply-3322559 I’ve always thought that age difference doesn’t matter as long as you both want the same things in life and love one another.

]]> SARAH! Fri, 28 Dec 2007 01:31:53 +0100