[Help] I dunno how to ask this but yet again i need help with my relationship. Updates to this post /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:25:05 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3530545 Quotable! very good realization! :) now the next step is…. trying to get yourself a life! Let me know how you are going to do about it. Then we’ll see how it goes.

]]> ☆lilies☆ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:13:00 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3529458 ty. its still only early days but the advice you have givin me, makes me understand her and myself a lot better
I guess the only reason why i feel so bad and have these worries is cause i am not making much of a life for myself.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:27:21 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527803 WOW really?!! that is sooooo nice! what a good news you have there!!!

]]> ☆lilies☆ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 11:58:20 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527796 I have talked to my girl and we have sorted everything out.
thank you :) all your advice ment a lot to me and has helped me out big time.
:):):)

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 11:56:48 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527681 ty :)I guess i struggle to see any good in myself but i am working on that
I see a psychologist tomorrow so hopefully i can finely get myself together.
I havn’t done any volunteer work but i am thinking of volunteering in
rescue or helping wild animals.

Your thoughts are very good and your spelling is way better then mine trust me
:)i wouldnt worry about that i think you are great :)

Seing your name does not bother me one bit and i think its good you talk a lot

I will try and laugh more and give the smiling ago.

just one last thing , you said english isn’t your first language may i ask what language you do speak?

you can shout it to me if you prefer.

Hugs:):)

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:54:37 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527669 Thank you for appreciating my thoughts. Most of the time, I don’t think I am good at giving one. My words do not match and my spelling sucks! and you know, i see the whole thing wrong when i have sent a reply and i cannot even edit it. gggrrr! :)

But you know, i do wish i can hear you laugh. ( i mean with the smilies and stuff in your post). You seem to be a nice person, respectful and polite in your post. You deserve to have friends, i even think some people are just waiting to befriend you, all you need to do is to reach out to them.

Have you tried volunteering at Red Cross? you’d get to meet people and you can get some fulfillment on it and other voluntary works.

Well, i have said too much in this post and you don’t want to see my name the whole time, so you see I talk a lot! lol

Have some laughing time will you? SMILE! you will look a LOOOTTT better!

Hugs! :)

]]> ☆lilies☆ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:40:36 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527664 I’ve been working on a career for many years but when i start getting somewhere it fails
and having depression also really makes it hard for me to have self confidence in anything
I have many different interest and some i have studied and worked in but i am never happy with my work
and start to lose hope in that job . I know a few of my strengths but cant seem to put those strengths into anything
only strength i think i have, that i am doing is not giving up.

I dont spend to much time anymore with my friends I feel they bring be down to much
and i dont have much in common with them no more, since i stopped drinking
and dont like going out to night clubs/pubs and none of my friends like to do any of the samething i like to do.

I use to surf everyday and play guitar but had no one who liked to do the samethings so i gave up and tried new things,
Mostly things they liked.

I agree i do need to find other things and i think i might start surfing again and doing all the other things i like
other then my girl, she has told me many times that she wants me to start doing things insteed of being on the computer
or sitting at home by myself and now i see she does care :) I think i’ll be more happy.

You are really good at advice :) everything you have said really has opend my eyes
and has givin me cofidence and understanding.

I think i will ask her what she wants in me
I know she likes to hear my voice but everything else i am not sure on.

Thank you again lilies :)

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 09:33:28 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527640 To gain power: practice self confidence. Be self assured that you could do things and make them work, develop a positive attitude. Most of the time, guys like to measure their power through financial aspects or career moves. Search for trainings or seminars that would help you widen your horizon on which job to take inline with your major or field of interest. That way you would have better fulfillment. Thus, would make you less stressed. Because most men when stressed are could not deal with emotions. They tend to escape and feel isolated.

To come less needy: when you have identified your own strengths at work, social life, and emotional capacity, you would get the same self assurance that would help you make it through. Having friends in real life would help, having a hobby, develop a sport or other interest aside from your girl could develop independence.

How do you trust after having been cheated before: wow this sounds very familiar. Any relationship is with no assurance. Therefore, make sure the person gives the same amount of attention you are giving her. Not necessarily clinging to you totally because love is all about give and take. Long distance relationships require more trust than the usual face to face relationship because more than a 100% percent is needed. BUT, communication makes it all possible. When the feeling is reciprocated, when the other person does her job to make you happy, and being listened to, i don’t think you’d have a very big problem.

What Do ladies look in a guy: We are talking about ladies coming from different culture, religion and environment. Which means every woman has different things to consider in a relationship. Therefore, it is important for a guy to know what this particular lady expect of him when they are inlove. Does she expect him to be independent or would show too much attention? Does she want you to call her to hear your voice or she is happier when she gets mails. Does she want to be pampered and treated like a queen? or she wants to practice independence herself.

All in all, it takes a lot of time to get to know the person before knowing what you both want in the relationship. All the above, are just my opinion based in my observation in my tiny world. :)

]]> ☆lilies☆ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:32:57 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527607 I think i am looking at her wrong and maybe it time i start to listen to her.

just a few questions
how do i gain power?
how do i come less needy?
How do i trust after being cheated on?(past relationship)
and one for the ladies , what do you really look in a guy?

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 06:29:01 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527591 [quote ~lilies~]It is not a surprise because many people are having the same kind of relationship. Truly, communication should begin from both parties and it feels like hell when one does not feel the same depth the other one is feeling. If distance is difficult to deal with in a relationship, how much more when language is involved. English is also not my mother tongue. And my partner lives oceans away from me. If i was in your girl’s shoes, i would also have a double difficulty dealing with it.

Maybe your girl thinks that she feels helpless not being able to make you happy because you have these worries. As much as you want to hold you and make you feel better but she could not. And she feels that he words are not efficient to get light hearted with things. As a result, she feels down and feels useless.

Try not to concentrate too much with your girl. Sometimes she needs to see that you are in control. And that if you’d get together and end up together you could be the leader of the pack.

Take control over your health. In order not to lose some sleep you can sleep in the morning and be up when she is online. But remember not to sacrifice too much or you’ll end up feeling lousy.

A man needs to gain his power even just a bit. You will need it.

:) Keep us posted.[/quote]

Your advice is always right :) she does feel helpless and i dont want her to feel that way no more.

thank u again :)

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 06:16:48 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527575 [quote kursat7]Hi there mate,

Here is some advise, I really hope you take up on. All woman like a challenge, they do not always admit to this as they don’t know it. It is in their DNA. Just go back to any relationship you had with woman and you will find that the reason that she was attracted to you was because you came across as a ‘price’. Looks on a guy can be important, but beleive me if you are a confident man you will not fail. Try not to come across to needy, poems and loving words are nice, but if she has it all, what is she going to look forward to having?. Do you see my point,make it a challenge, let her win you back.
Let me know if you need more tips, but try this one out. No woman likes needy, dependant guys. It is just not attractive for them.[/quote]

I find it hard to make it a challenge, its something i never want to do in any relatonship i felt if i dont give all i’ll be dumped but i will take on your advice
and thank you.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 06:07:57 +0100 Reply from ☆lilies☆ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527281 It is not a surprise because many people are having the same kind of relationship. Truly, communication should begin from both parties and it feels like hell when one does not feel the same depth the other one is feeling. If distance is difficult to deal with in a relationship, how much more when language is involved. English is also not my mother tongue. And my partner lives oceans away from me. If i was in your girl’s shoes, i would also have a double difficulty dealing with it.

Maybe your girl thinks that she feels helpless not being able to make you happy because you have these worries. As much as you want to hold you and make you feel better but she could not. And she feels that he words are not efficient to get light hearted with things. As a result, she feels down and feels useless.

Try not to concentrate too much with your girl. Sometimes she needs to see that you are in control. And that if you’d get together and end up together you could be the leader of the pack.

Take control over your health. In order not to lose some sleep you can sleep in the morning and be up when she is online. But remember not to sacrifice too much or you’ll end up feeling lousy.

A man needs to gain his power even just a bit. You will need it.

:) Keep us posted.

]]> ☆lilies☆ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 04:15:01 +0100 Reply from kursat7 /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3527181 Hi there mate,

Here is some advise, I really hope you take up on. All woman like a challenge, they do not always admit to this as they don’t know it. It is in their DNA. Just go back to any relationship you had with woman and you will find that the reason that she was attracted to you was because you came across as a ‘price’. Looks on a guy can be important, but beleive me if you are a confident man you will not fail. Try not to come across to needy, poems and loving words are nice, but if she has it all, what is she going to look forward to having?. Do you see my point,make it a challenge, let her win you back.
Let me know if you need more tips, but try this one out. No woman likes needy, dependant guys. It is just not attractive for them.

]]> kursat7 Tue, 11 Mar 2008 03:37:23 +0100 Reply from amy /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3525395 I guess it depends how much time you really spend speaking to her dear. Just remember she fell in love with a guy who has outside interests as well. Give it a bit of slack and try and sort your side of the world out. If it was meant to be she will not dissappear over night. Ill keep thumbs for you both because there is nothing like having somebody who cares. Amy

]]> amy Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:29:49 +0100 Reply from Romy22 /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3525140 im going thru the exact thing….try reading my post….i feel so depressed and i just dont know what to tell you…right now im trying to give my boy friend a bit of space…which could work both ways…buts he doesnt prefer that…try reading my post and the responses maybe it could help you…

]]> Romy22 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:24:20 +0100 Reply from Shawno*i'mback!* /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524603 I think she’ll understand..

]]> Shawno*i'mback!* Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:27:19 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524595 I think i need to do that , i have a lot of things i need to figure out , like gettin a job and my health better just feel if i spend to much time on myself i may lose her.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:24:40 +0100 Reply from Shawno*i'mback!* /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524588 I think you should tale some time to yourself and think about what you want, if she wants to be with you she’ll message you or something.. not that i’m telling you what to do..

]]> Shawno*i'mback!* Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:18:35 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524584 ty smo I guess what you are saying is right. i think i give myself some more time to think about what i want. I think i put to much thought into the relationship and less thought to my life.i dunno but maybe it not ment to be but i do love her and think i will forever.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:14:12 +0100 Reply from Shawno*i'mback!* /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524574 I know exactly how you feel monkey, my last relationship was semi long distance but she never really put much effort into it and i kept on trying and giving her chances and struggling to make it work but in the end it wasn’t ment to be.. but every relationship has its up and downs, my parents have been married for 20 years and they fight some times but look how long they have lasted.. I guess what i’m saying is just try to make it work but make sure she’s trying also and so you’re not the only person doing the loving.. if you can make sense of all this..

]]> Shawno*i'mback!* Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:56:46 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524257 I just want to make her feel special all the time.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 05:04:00 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524170 Maybe back off a little on the rining and txting if she seems annoyed. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Even couples in love need to have some separate interests and other friends. That keeps the relationship healthy.

]]> Cell Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:35:11 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524160 Yeh she does i hope she always says she wants to met but i find it sometimes hard to believe at times since she has so many excuses and ends it when i open up to her about how i feel about things that bring me down.

I kinda feel i am getting in the way and taking up to much of her time
she always complains about it ,saying she spends all her spare time with me
and now i feel maybe i shouldnt be around much and to stop ringing her and txting

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:33:04 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524102 Does she feel the same? If you both feel that way you should stick it through. This world is so messed up it really is best to have a soul mate to go through it with.

]]> Cell Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:19:10 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524081 I am saving money to met her but it may take another year as i am now out of a job.
We both want to meet and hopfully spend the rest of our lives together, ive never known someone like her before she very special.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:14:24 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524048 I don’t know what to suggest. Can you ever meet her in real life? Where do you see this relationship going?

]]> Cell Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:04:10 +0100 Reply from ÑÌnJÅ_ /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524043 Ty.

]]> ÑÌnJÅ_ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:02:53 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/140795-i-dunno-how-to-ask-this-but-yet-aga#reply-3524014 I like the poem. It’s sweet.

]]> Cell Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:52:15 +0100