[Help] I'm surprised this is actually a site.

Reply from Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:09:16 +0100

Thank you all for your help.. It means a lot. I’ve been trying to get more out of life lately. Taking away all these supposed thoughts of what I “NEED” to do. When I got to writing down what I actually want and need, the list is a lot shorter than I at first believed. Again.. Thanks for everything that you have said. It really helps. Tomorrow, I’m going to see if that friend I mentioned wants to hang out or not. It’s a start, at least.

I’m unsure if anyone else will ever read this, but if they do, please post your advice.

Reply from crazyG

crazyG — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:28:34 +0100

I guess that it’s better that you go and do what you want to do, Maybe unlike to what you think and what your family thinks too, your family would probably be fine if you go, but they are only depending on your support too much…and expecting from you too much…
Just write down the options that you would like to do if you go…
and don’t hesitate…just live your life with out a good plan but with some planning.. Goodluck to you, I hope you’ll get what you are looking for..

Reply from lieutenant.gre

lieutenant.gre — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:20:00 +0100

Speaking as one who’s had a share of bad days in my life…sometimes you just have to look at each day as something new. It sounds like you’ve been in the same spot, emotionally speaking, from a long, long time. When you wake up tomorrow, try something different. Do something different. Even if you really don’t feel like it, reach out, and do something completely frivolous and ridiculous. Go out and rent that movie that you’ve wanted to see again for months. Go to an arcade. Try something new, or try turning something daily and boring that you do into something fun. Heck, maybe you can even get everyone else in on it.

It sounds like there’s a lot of conflict on your end, as far as your family goes…and I guess there’s a fair amount of conflict in every family, but it sounds like you’ve got an extreme case on your hands. Have you talked to any family members about how you feel? And, if not, is there anyone you can go to who can help? You might not want to deal with this completely alone…because this sounds like a problem that it might take more than one person to solve effectively.

Last but not least…don’t sell yourself short. To say that you have “no place” in someone else’s life is a bit extreme - how, pray tell, do you know that you’re not already in it? You don’t have to be better, or different, or a graduate student of law school with honors to be a human being. Heck, you’re a pretty darn good human being right now, from what I gather. If things go wrong, things go wrong. But to cut off a friendship before it even starts…well, it’s the kind of thing that can haunt a man the rest of his life.

Like I said…do something different. You might experience loss when things go awry, or when things fall apart. But it’s been my experience that I’d rather have loss than regret. Loss you can recover from…regret sticks with you, and festers a bit more every single day. Go out there, and live. ^^

On the subject of education…I agree with the above poster. You can always try one or two part-time courses…I’ve managed to get a year of university and a computer certification course done just by coming in part-time. It’s often not easy…but if it’s really what you want to do, go for it.

Carpe diem, my friend. Carpe diem.

Reply from nainachick

nainachick — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:06:58 +0100

I’m sorry you are suffering. I can read it in your post so clearly. A story comes to mind as I read your post, it is this;
Try Something Different
I’m sitting in a quiet room at the Milcroft Inn, a
peaceful little place hidden back among the pine trees about
an hour out of Toronto. It’s just past noon, late July, and
I’m listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death
struggle going on a few feet away.
There’s a small fly burning out the last of its short
life’s energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass
of the windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant
story of the fly’s strategy: Try harder.
But it’s not working.
The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival.
Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. It is
impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at
breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little
insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw
effort and determination.
This fly is doomed. It will die there on the
windowsill.
Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten
seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach
the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the
effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-
imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It
would be so easy.
Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something
dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the
idea that this particular route and determined effort offer
the most promise for success? What logic is there in
continuing until death to seek a breakthrough with more of
the same?
No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly.
Regrettably, it’s an idea that will kill.
Trying harder isn’t necessarily the solution to
achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for
getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s
a big part of the problem.
If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying
harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.

.
By Price Pritchett
from Chicken Soup for the Soul Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen

What could you do that would be different? I beleive that we have most of our own answers, we just need to be willing to try in a different direction than maybe we are used to. God Bless

Reply from kimmeko

kimmeko — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:06:31 +0100

I’m kinda in the same situation as you in concern to money,I’m the eldest of 4 in a private rent with a single mum, and i didnt get to do uni either having to support family :(
I think that it’s hard to break bonds when your self esteems low and to get back to that time when you were happy, but mayb you have to think about what you want and how to get there, if you start to make goals you’ll find that each day becomes easier and as you make your goals you’ll start to find your direction in life, i know it sounds corny but it works trust me!!