Chrisncai, all the best and most moving stories have begun from where you are standing right now. Make it through the night for me, Nutmeg, katwi and enigma’s sake. Tomorrow is a new day. You don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m so sorry to hear about your folks. I hate to believe that you’re caught in the middle of parents argues… I can’t imagine how hard that has been on you.

Your folks love you deep down even if they are under too much pressure to show you that. Think about the warmest memories with them. A breakfast, or when they tucked you in for sleep, or bought you something you wanted even though you knew that they weren’t doing very well financially. That feeling of them hasn’t changed a bit. They still love you equally as much.

What if… What if four weeks from now, all this is settled and you are back with her and she’s understood what you meant and everything in your relationship with her and more importantly with your relationship with yourself gets better than you’ve imagined it.

You won’t know until four weeks from now, why cut every line of possible joy that can come into your life.

chrisncai, you have too much going on for you to do something stupid, you know that too.

“bbut i neeed someoone i can always have contact and see whenn i need d it.” - That’s sounds like a very good definition of the one who created you.

But again, there are 8 billion people on this planet, 1,006,644 of which live in your city, there are many in your vicinity who will be there for you. Just open your eyes dude. Come my friend, you are smarter than this. We’ve all been there, so that’s why we are so eager to get you out.

You are a survivor Chris. Growing up in such an environment might have been extremely tough, but be sure that you are that much tougher than your peers. I think you will notice that there will be plenty of people in your life that will take shelter under your wings just because of the hardships you’ve endured and the deep insight insight on life they’ve given you. So you might be reaching out tonight, but people like me and others in your vicinity will be reaching out to you. Just bite the bullet, do something outrageous that makes you not think about it for a while (preferably not drugs). Once you’ve endured it, you’ll be stronger and most likely happier than ever.

Man I’ve got to get back to my paper, but if you want to talk about this, e-mail me your telephone number and I’ll gladly give you a call (I’m 25 and live in California).

and i alredy had someonee icould hug. so whatss to say i wont ruin thatt too

BTW, there are going to be people in your life to hug you in the future. And you will be that person that hugs them back when they need it.

Stay strong, my friend. Don’t give up tonight.

but i need people here now, people that can just give me a hug, and i only hhad one of those people…

you are all nice people, and i thank you all…

bbut i neeed someoone i can always have contact and see whenn i need d it.

sorry for the shakey hands, im frozen im outside and its - weather. so my fingers are frozen.

but thank you.

but its not going to help me now.

But you can’t change them. And you can’t take responsibility for them. And just because they are messing up doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They are just too caught up in their own pain to take care of you and show you the love you deserve.

But it is NOT GOING TO ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS!!!

I promise you that. Do you see the many people who care about you here? Well, that’s only a small percentage of the many, many people you are going to meet in real life.

You are going to have a life of friendships with healthy individuals. You are going to meet many people who care about you. And you’ll make a difference in their lives as well - a positive one.

Start getting yourself healthy now. Talk to someone in real life who can help you. Is there one person older than you who may listen? Who may help you find some guidance as you take your first steps towards the great life you deserve?

Take the first step today and just make it until tomorrow. Take another step tomorrow and call someone for help. If that person can’t help you, make a second call. Maybe it’ll take three calls! Your life is worth a few phone calls.

Get ready now, because you are going to have the better life you deserve. Be strong and start getting ready for it.

reason is all i could give. if you will not listen to rationality, then perhaps you would be doing the gene pool a favor via suicide.

Minutes haven’t passed and you already have a community that truly are telling you that they are caring… These are your peers, these have had their own hardships and might even been on the verge put have been courageous enough to find hope in tomorrow and pulled themselves through the worst of situations.

You have a greater possibility than ever to take this extremely negative feeling, turn it around and use it to overcome this and go way beyond. To a point were you will remember this day with gratitude. The truth is that we need these hardships, as terrible as they might be, to become something greater than we thought we could be. Rest assured that there are greater forces in play (let’s not call it God, let’s call it whatever intelligence and nature that created you).

Chrisncai, we all can remember incidents where we felt hope was gone, where we didn’t want to live on… But today, looking back, wow, how fortunate we were that they didn’t turn out to our liking… Think carefully.

From a completely pragmatic point of view:
You kill yourself today… Some get upset, some get chocked, some get angry, some feel guilt (yeay!), some (as you mention) don’t give a… Years pass, and whatever terrible thing you’ve done is forgotten. Peoples life goes on, people are out enjoying themselves, and your gone… Your memory fades except for your truly loved ones… But they have agreed to the fact that you’ve died and live on with their lives… What the hell did you just achieve dude??

Flip it around. Let’s say you changed you city and cut ties with these people that you supposedly have hurt or vice versa. What do you want to do in this world that is not related to this problem? Make use of yourself and create a life full of joy and ecstasy. How? If you’re into helping others, go into a help organization and start saving other peoples lives, if you’re into sustainability, go help us save the environment, if you’re just into having fun, move to somewhere fun (Tokyo, Hawaii, Jamaica, or somewhere domestic) and just have fun.

ANY of those options beats being a pale photograph which colors faded away ten years ago and a tombstone which isn’t well-managed. And in case you have a heart (which I’m absolutely sure you do my friend), your parents (and potential siblings faces of expression when they hear the news)… … … For you it is a moment (if you don’t believe in the soul). For them it is a lifetime. Did they really deserve that? How would you feel if “The only beautiful part of it” go hit by a truck today and died or worse, put a bullet to her head… Not a good example but rest assured that you are somebodies “Only beautiful part of the world”.

And hear it from me, as your peer/brother, I care for you. If possible, I’d nothing rather than go out for some drinks and just talk about this kind of stuff. And I’m not alone, we all care for you…

ive tried, my mom was an alcoholic and a drug dealer, i had to deal with that my whole life then i managed to tell someone and get moved into my dads, but i just made them fight, and made the girl i love sad…

so im a horrible person who just shouldent be here anymore, and as soon as everyones gone, and there is nobody to help me later. im done.

and, by gosh, you don’t believe in god? you don’t believe in a moral law giver? then why are you so fixed and stubborn in wanting to mitigate other people’s pain? there’s no such a thing as a universal oughtness is an atheistic worldview. and if mitigating another’s suffering is your own, created subjective morality…well, 1) for what reasons are you pursuing it? and 2) why not consider changing it?

But then, you said you don’t want to hear about “But people are going to miss you”. Ok then, what about this: You have a chance to do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT right now. You don’t want to live? Fine, then you don’t care if you die. All fear is gone. There is nothing to be afraid of anymore. Go out, skydive. Climb Mount Everest. Talk in public. I’m sure there are THOUSANDS of things that you’ve never tried and always wanted to do. Well, if you don’t want to live anymore, then go do them!

You don’t know either.

“Where there’s life, there’s hope” is cliche, but it’s also true. Life changes day to day; death doesn’t. Whatever is on the other side, that’s permanent. That’s forever.

Don’t do it tonight. Write yourself a note of something you want to accomplish tomorrow - something that’s in your control (ie you may not be able to make amends with someone in a single day, since they also have some say in that; they must agree to it). What could you do tomorrow that just MIGHT make a difference? Even if you think it won’t, there’s still a chance.

Is there someone you could talk to? A hotline you could call? ie The National Suicide Helpline at this link: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

There isn’t any need to make a permanent decision, one you cannot EVER reverse, tonight.

And notice that several people here truly care that you are hurting. We’ve experienced pain as well. We don’t want you to go through this. But you are strong enough to make it through another day, and you’ll have our support.

im sorry but im not convinced, i would rather be gone and not place pain on other people, then to stay around and do that.

and just for the record, i dont believe in god, thank you for trying to helpme, i appreciate it, but that wont work

know there are people here .. feeling the same way as you .. and we are all going through this together.

Don’t give up .. we all need you.