♥

Okay, onwards to grammar:

The lines
[quote]But then feel your there, but not
you body has gone it’s natural way to decay[/quote]

should instead read

[quote]But then I feel YOU’RE there, but not
YOUR body has gone ITS natural way to decay[/quote]

your = shows possession
you’re = the contraction of the words ‘you’ and ‘are’

Similarly,

its = shows possession
it’s = contractions of ‘it’ and ‘is’

(Note the use of the apostrophe. If ever you are in doubt of using an apostrophe or not, play it safe and don’t use it at all.)

Also,

[quote]As this is natures process[/quote]

should read

[quote]As this is NATURE’S process[/quote]

Again, the apostrophe denotes possession, as opposed to plurality as is the case with the word ‘natures.’

Remember that all good writing is re-writing. Polishing of your writing is a necessary evil in this world, and when you go back and re-read your poem, you’ll likely notice some things you will want to change that might make it read better. I do this all the time, and read the same poem over three or four times in a row, alternating between silent reading and reading it out loud, to catch anything that I don’t like. What I don’t like, I change, and then go back and read it again. Of course, you may work differently. Everyone does. Just remember that editing is the key to writing.

And of course, I’m sorry about your father. I know it must be difficult. Stay strong, and keep writing.[/quote]

I find doing things in free verse helps me be more expressive. i concentrate more on letting out my feelings rather than struture the whole thing.

u can do another reply saying what grammar corrections can be mad eif u want. also my english might be different to urs as ur from US, yeah? or somewhere else.

to be honest its not meant to be something to be happy about lol

And of course, I’m sorry about your father. I know it must be difficult. Stay strong, and keep writing.