[Help] I hesitate to ask for help because I am unlikely to take the help that is offered. Updates to this post /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:31:17 +0100 Reply from pseudoniem /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3871141 It sounds as if you may need to find a balance, a way to have an adult life, but be taking care of in some areas. Almost all of us need to feel safe, have decisions taken out of our hands, at some points. There is nothing wrong with that once you realize it. You just need to find a way in which you can still function normally as an adult. Many people hire others to take away some of their responsibilities: accountants, people to clean their house, people to send birthday cards to their mother et cetera. Many people depend on their family or spouse for those things they cannot handle themselves: housekeeping, deciding where to live, pay the bills in time, get them to stop avoiding things, even social contacts and job interviews.
There are two options: either you will be able to function normally with just these kinds of help and just need to find out your strengths and balance, or you are one of those, like my own boyfriend, who will not be able to provide for themselves economically. In my country, the latter means that he gets government support. That might be an option in your country as well, I don’t know. Either way, you need to find out which is the case for you, so you can start shaping your life to suit your strengths and weaknesses.

]]> pseudoniem Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:33:19 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3860147 Wow, is right,are we twins or what? I knew there was a connection between us.I need to get to the store but Im so looking forward to meeting you.While im gone i suggest letting us know of any diagnosis(labels),meds and whatever comes to mind.What you said about the ‘little things’being so hard,that can get worse ,ive been there,done that so im saying it doesnt have to be like that anymore my friend,i feel for you.TTFN :)

]]> Felicity Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:02:09 +0100 Reply from ashunartes /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3860105 Wow this is…nice. It just feels good to get an echo, you know?

I am not suicidal at all, but I am depressed. I suppose it is good that I am aware of it–it certainly took long enough for that to happen–and I must say therapy did help with that.

While I don’t think more isolation would be good for me (I do too much of that already), I do think you have a point there, whentenluver7. Relaxing and letting go of some anxiety would be a good idea, and you are more helpful than you think.

As far as what adult responsibilities give me stress, well, virtually all of them. I have been only sporadically employed over the years, and even simple things like cleaning my home require a lot of mental/emotional effort. I tend to avoid things, and I am all too good at doing that.

Anyhow, thank you for your replies. I don’t expect miracles but it is nice to get things out.

]]> ashunartes Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:53:37 +0100 Reply from rrxapture /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3860029 I know this sounds difficult, but taking time to be alone, in your own world, might help. I’ve been through similar feelings, although I’m not quite an adult, and ‘alone-time’ has always seemed to help.

Again, I’m aware how ridiculous this may sound, and perhaps you’ve already tried, but there’s no harm in trying again?

Curl up with a good book. Lock your doors. Submerge yourself in another world for a little bit. Let the anxiety subside.

…I just realized I’m not all too helpful.

Could you maybe explain what adult responsibilities cause you stress?

]]> rrxapture Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:39:03 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3860008 dont give up now,I cant wait too much longer and I really think we could be good for each other,give us a chance?

]]> Felicity Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:35:00 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3859952 Hi,this sounds like a real pickle,but I can relate,not totally,just being honest.Are you depressed or having thoughts of hurting yourself or anyone else?

]]> Felicity Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:21:58 +0100 Reply from KatrinaG /post/171388-i-hesitate-to-ask-for-help-because#reply-3859950 *Hugs* Then maybe what you need is a reliable friend, who can believe in you and love you as you are, and not push you till youre ready. Maybe professional therapy hasnt worked because they used tactics that didnt suit what you really needed.

I dont know if I can really help, but I can listen and try to be a friend, even from far away (although, I do need to let you know I have responsibilities and people I am responsible to and care for that I cannot slip, but I can help when I am able, which doesnt mean irregularly, but just means that some times I wont be able to extend a conversation very long). Just give me a Shout on my page wall….Send me an IM you’d be willing to give out^^, and I’ll give you mine in exchange.

Peace! And just so you know, I think tt is good that you are aware about it, which means that you do not want to remain where you are, which is a good start.*hug*

]]> KatrinaG Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:21:48 +0100