Bright blessings ~ Richard

I will start enjoying life so i can know what my passions are and i will meet new people who are different than me so i can relate to them in some way to hear their stories and vice versa. I will also do the other things you have mentioned. They sound great. Life is about experience the more you get the more knowledge you obtain from the world. Because you wont be as ignorant to the fact that everyone is the same and everyone go through trials and tribulations to get where they are today. Whether its the janitor or the lawyer they both have meaningful stories worth listening to that have messages within them.

Thanks for letting me into your life a little that meant a lot ♥

I am 25 now, but have had 1000 reasons not to be where I am today.

I have been sexually, verbally and physically abused by my father.
My mother used to hit me as well.

I was raised as a racist by a black father, I hated the colour of my skin.

I didn’t have one single hug in my childhood.
I have no pictures of what I looked like as a kid.
The oldest thing I own is about 3 years old. (except for funky vintage stuff, but you get the idea).

I was kicked out of the house when I was 13, because I am gay.
I was taught gay people had to be burned.

I have been through enormous amounts of therapy and counselling, but most didn’t seem to understand me.

I have been kicked out elsewhere because I was suicidal.
I lived somewhere where a guy of 17 put a gun on my head.

I am not dumb but had failure in school due to stress, barely managed to get a diploma.
I have been bullied up till I was 17. Was beaten up nearly daily.
I went to a school where I got a knife on my throat.

I turned 18 and had nothing anymore.
No help, no income, no study, no house, no friends. Just me and a few belongings.

I ran into one job from another.
I moved from one spot to the other.

I have had over 60 positions and projects I have been working on.
I moved over 40 times. (soon I can say over 50)

I was diagnosed with arthritis at 22.

I didn’t have real love until last year.
And this week I had to end my engagement because of his family issues.

This is a little bit of what happened too me. But this are the negative things.
And there is actually more, one of the biggest things I have not shared, but for now I choose not to do that.

Do not ever pity me.
I have forgiven everyone that has been at my path and they have been of value to my upbringing.
I don’t praise the events, but I do praise the outcome.

Without having the degrees I did have had my own youth organisation, I worked as a trainer and coach and have been able to be an advisor and coach to several governmental bodies. I got a chance to do projects in 5 other countries.

I have been performing. Wrote a piece and have had the bliss of 5 (out of 5) sold-out theatre nights. (though I must admit I knew over 50% of the people in the theatre, and it was a small one, but still).

I have been a PA in charge of large events.

I have been in business. Became a sales executive and later a salesmanager.
I have been in charge of a call centre department.

I have been hired by several multinationals.

I got sick of it all and started my own, not unsuccessful, biz, as wedding- and eventmanager. Which could grow to a respectable company if I desired so.

It allows me to also work as an interior and graphic designer and to use my passion for communication.

But I have decided otherwise.
Time to put my passion to the test. To live for that.
To do what I am meant to do.

I am moving abroad once again. Not sure yet what I do but I am working on things.
And it will be huge. Because I have the strength to do that.

How did I get where I am today?

Being stubborn. That probably has been the most important thing.
Even ignoring myself, as I have been through severe depressions.
I have been suicidal for years.

How did I find my passions? By trial and error.
And everywhere I found something that I for sure wanted or never wanted again.

Just doing stuff. Living life. Meeting people. Hear stories. Read. Visit museums. Go to lectures. Get drunk. Overcome fears. Get on a rollercoaster. Ask. Ask others about their passions. How they got where they are.

The garbage man has a much of a story as the prime minister, speak with everybody.

Seek debate. Discuss about everything and allow yourself to question your views.

Go clubbing for a week. Paint your walls neon green or pitch black.
Everything can be some inspiration and everything does not have to be taken seriously.

Enjoy life. And you will find your passions.
Be miserable and you find your strengths, but than enjoy life again.

I have no idea what is going to happen. I decided which country I wish to live in for at least a while.
But what I’ll do? Which city in end up in? Which people I will meet? What I will learn.
I have no clue, but I follow my heart and therefor it is the right thing to do.

But I am here. And I am not going anywhere, because I only laid the path for my future. Now it is time to start walking it. Or better, let me dance the entire way.

I am just as much or as less as everybody else.
I might have a bit more determination developed now, but we all have it within us.

It is the desire to be alive. The desire to follow your heart.

The decision that everything is possible.

(Please all, do realise this is the post of Essence, my overly long reply is meant as an inspiration, not as a topic for discussion or commenting)

One of the songs that inspire me the most, especiall when I feel down.

Released in 1999, the Chris Cunningham video was just in time to win the award for best musicvideo of the past century.

Perfect match of song and video.

Bjork - All Is Full Of Love

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0cS1FaKPWY]

Aww thanks Richard :)

[quote miskat][quote miskat]Ok. Essence. I make a deal with you.

I am going to give you a long long respond now which I literally have to get out of my toes at the moment, but you, yes you, my dear Essence, you are taking part in Got Guts. Because I am convinced you have creativity. =)[/quote]

I have a reply of 939 words waiting for you…
What about your part of the deal? =)[/quote]

Ok deal. But im not sure exactly what you want to be done. 3 pics and a creative background? You can shout me if you want. I cant be on for long today :(. But ill try my best to understand the contest k

I am going to give you a long long respond now which I literally have to get out of my toes at the moment, but you, yes you, my dear Essence, you are taking part in Got Guts. Because I am convinced you have creativity. =)[/quote]

I have a reply of 939 words waiting for you…
What about your part of the deal? =)

I am going to give you a long long respond now which I literally have to get out of my toes at the moment, but you, yes you, my dear Essence, you are taking part in Got Guts. Because I am convinced you have creativity. =)

What i mean by creativity is that im not. When Miskat invited me to his post about who can be the most creative person thats when my insecurities crept back up.

Oh and Miskat ill stop and then continue when you are wide awake LOL

i am tired and want to write a long reply too but can’t even find the energy to read yours now!

…grmbl…

goes collecting energy and is back in a few…

Self discovery is a good goal to have, because when you know yourself you will know better what you want to do with life. As for creativity, that depends on how you view it. For me creativity can be many things; A great piece of art (maybe the most obvious example), a well thought out response, thinking “outside the box”, and asking questions of life, a creative way to try and understand it!
Its all well and good *wishing* you were different, whether that is smarter, or in my case more confident! But as long as you work hard with what you’ve *got*; for a start the talents I pointed out, and the wonderful passion I see in you, then you will accomplish everything you want too!
Knowledge is the key, but it can be learned, lost knowledge can be found. As long as you keep your passion for questioning and understanding life and things around you, the knowledge will come. You don’t have to be “smart” to be intelligent and get a lot out of life, just have to *want* to learn. Sounds to me like you are well on your way! =)

About the teacher part, i know im intelligent but i dont see it. I never do good in my classes and it only proves to me how much i dont know. I never had passionate teachers who pushed me really. I mean i had some good teachers, dont get me wrong, but none of them really pushed me. They just really liked my personality and maturity. I made good grades in high school but i never had teachers who really challenged me to learn. I want to learn because i want to better myself and be successful. But its hard when you feel dumb all the time. I know this is off topic but the reason i said that was to let you know why i cant or dont think i can be a professor.

I dont have any talents, goals (other than the obvious, which is to find/or discover self and find what i will enjoy as a career), im not creative (ugh this is bringing tears to my eyes). But i kind of despise when people tell me im smart when i know im really not. I dont really know nothing and it su*ks. Im sorry i dont know where this negativity came from. I was just happy a moment ago lol. I guess i which i were smart because if so i feel i could accomplish so much more. Knowledge is the key and i feel thats the one key im lacking/missing…

As for taking things too seriously, I was previously a serial sufferer too! I analysed the smallest comments, usually picking out any negative bits and dwelling on them; and looked for undertones, often where there were none. I still do tend to take things people say at face value, rather than look for the lightness that they were intended to have, and it still can be a real problem.
But the whole fool comment(and indeed my name); I see that as proof I am getting better! I try really hard not to take myself too seriously, and this affects the way I see other things. In short, I take things in general less seriously! And it really has a positive effect, because it has made me much more lighthearted and less likely to tke things the wrong way.

Sure, there are a lot of situations where I am serious, this forum for example when I try to help others. Taking things seriously makes my response more sincere, and so I feel I can give better, more heartfelt advice. That is one major positive of those like us, because we naturally take things seriously! Its not all bad! =)

And change really is possible. I can’t really explain how, because for me something inside just changed one day, and I worked with it for a long time before getting to where I am now (which is still far from the finishing line). Its a case of changing the way you think. Best advice is to begin by taking yourself less seriously, and the rest will follow. Look for the lightness in peoples responses(and in yourself), and if the situation requires it (like when people say your too serious in a discussion), resort to the childish side we all have inside us and have a little fun!

Sorry for the mini essay, but I hope it helps! I see a lot of your personality in myself, and its much easier to go through things in life together =)

I dont like children and thats something my brother is thinking about doing lol. I dont know why but i found that funny

[quote miskat]…spreads love all around…
…add glitter…

“ooooh! shiny!”

…nevermind…

(sorry for the late respond, just survived a computer crash)[/quote]

LOL

[quote Cosmic Fool]You have my reply slightly wrong, I *love* your use of the word “love”! No pun intended =) Keep on using it!

Aww thank you very much, I am truly touched by your kindness. Made a fool very happy indeed! And I thought we were meant to help you on your post, not the other way! But both ways work for me =) If that made any sense :P

My profile tells me “Through helping others I discover myself” - this thread has made me really believe what I wrote![/quote]

See thats a prime example of how i take things too seriously.

You are not a fool at all.

Im glad this post has helped you in some way :D

“ooooh! shiny!”

…nevermind…

(sorry for the late respond, just survived a computer crash)

Aww thank you very much, I am truly touched by your kindness. Made a fool very happy indeed! And I thought we were meant to help you on your post, not the other way! But both ways work for me =) If that made any sense :P

My profile tells me “Through helping others I discover myself” - this thread has made me really believe what I wrote!

I know right LOL i was thinking the same thing

But i must say i have found two people who are also passionate caring and loving. For some reason i LOVE (sorry cant help but use the word ugh lol) seeing Cosmic replies and now i also LOVE seeing Miskat replies. You all are honest and i (thinking of another word besides love lol) like (ugh not enough passion behind that word lol owell) when people are straight forward instead of BSing.

You both have great minds :)

Looks like great minds don’t just think alike, they also post replies at the same time! I’d go for that! Heh.

Spot on about “you are who you are”, just gotta discover it first =)

I say you are passionate because that is the impression your posts give me. The use of smileys as a portrayal of emotion (mainly positive which is always good!); the sharing of your thoughts and dreams; your use of the word “love” - to me it all screams a passionate person who obviously cares about what they are saying (or in this case typing)! Its an extremely usefull ally to have, passion. Its my friend! =)

And I agree about no-one being normal. In a world so vast and contrasting how can any one personality be considered the norm?!? That is crazy talk! Unless of course normal means unquestioning of the wonders of life and our world, and in that case, normal isn’t something I’d ever want to be!

I always stand by my grounds. When I make a bold statement I know you can’t get me turned around. I make sure I know my facts and that I know why I have a certain opinion. I have given courses in debating hahaha.

That does not mean though no one ever convinced me of something else, just not easily.

What you have to realise is that you allready are who you are.
All it takes is taking of the ribbon and present yourself to the world.
Next step is to rock that world! =)

Loving what you do is a fantastic dream! You can never go wrong if you come *back* from work happy, when so many people today take job dissatisfaction as a sad fact of life. I find novels a great way of losing myself in fantasy worlds, its a great release from the pressures of life! And discussing them is a great idea, that you have the confidence to do in class is a really good thing =)

You are full of passion and so you will get far! Back to one of yuor original questions, people will tell you to take things less seriously because they themselves are afraid to question life as you do. Take it as a compliment! As for defensive, it isn’t defensive to have an opinion, its normal! Whatever normal is :P[/quote]

Yea i read novels to escape my life or the thoughts i feel are haunting me. Thank you i hope i get far as well. Everyone keeps telling me I am full of passion. I know what it means but being that i cant notice what i am portraying to the world. Can you explain to me what you mean please?

I came up with my own conclusion when it comes to “normal”: No one is normal, if they think they are then they are fooling themselves lol.

[quote miskat]Essence,I personally belief that the moment you choose to follow your heart it is time to keep your eyes and ears open.Even if you don’t know the destination yet.I had a rough life but came out of it quite succesfully, while I am only 25.Being my own employer I have a fair chance of running a very nice bigger business in a few years if I continue to do so.But I have decided different. It is not what brings me passion.It is not what moves me.It is not horrible or wrong, I make people happy, but I don’t change lives.This is a high goal, but it happens to be mine.I can elaborate for hours on this and would be happy to do so, but I’d hijack the post and it would take a few hours to load the page. So let me be nice. =)What I am currently noticing in my life, after I made the decision to follow my heart (a few months ago), life changes. Like never before. Practically things are quite the same, but on an emotional level it is totally different.I have gotten strength again. Enthusiasm. Bliss. And I have no idea where I am going. I have some clues. It becomes more clear slowly. But I see 10 meters in front of me and where that path is taking me…? Yet, I do take it now.Personally I think that when you make the decision to follow your heart something, call it God, universe, your own self, starts moving and make it’s way.I listen very carefully too my gut feeling and that helps me.I come across a post like this and it touches me, and we started talking for the first time about an hour ago. It inspires me again. Helps me a tiny bit.And I can only hope my story inspires you a tiny bit as well.[/quote]

Ive read your previous post, about religions i believe, and you reminded me of myself. You stood by your ground and didnt give up. At least thats what i remembered when you made your post.

You all inspire me everytime i read one of your post/replies and i notice myself growing more everyday. From Cosmic to you (miskat), to Richard, to Aviatrix and so many others who think beyond the surface… I want to thank all of you for helping me get closer to finding who i truly am :). Seriously

I personally belief that the moment you choose to follow your heart it is time to keep your eyes and ears open.

Even if you don’t know the destination yet.

I had a rough life but came out of it quite succesfully, while I am only 25.
Being my own employer I have a fair chance of running a very nice bigger business in a few years if I continue to do so.

But I have decided different. It is not what brings me passion.
It is not what moves me.

It is not horrible or wrong, I make people happy, but I don’t change lives.
This is a high goal, but it happens to be mine.

I can elaborate for hours on this and would be happy to do so, but I’d hijack the post and it would take a few hours to load the page. So let me be nice. =)

What I am currently noticing in my life, after I made the decision to follow my heart (a few months ago), life changes. Like never before. Practically things are quite the same, but on an emotional level it is totally different.

I have gotten strength again. Enthusiasm. Bliss. And I have no idea where I am going. I have some clues. It becomes more clear slowly. But I see 10 meters in front of me and where that path is taking me…? Yet, I do take it now.

Personally I think that when you make the decision to follow your heart something, call it God, universe, your own self, starts moving and make it’s way.
I listen very carefully too my gut feeling and that helps me.

I come across a post like this and it touches me, and we started talking for the first time about an hour ago. It inspires me again. Helps me a tiny bit.

And I can only hope my story inspires you a tiny bit as well.

Loving what you do is a fantastic dream! You can never go wrong if you come *back* from work happy, when so many people today take job dissatisfaction as a sad fact of life. I find novels a great way of losing myself in fantasy worlds, its a great release from the pressures of life! And discussing them is a great idea, that you have the confidence to do in class is a really good thing =)

You are full of passion and so you will get far! Back to one of yuor original questions, people will tell you to take things less seriously because they themselves are afraid to question life as you do. Take it as a compliment! As for defensive, it isn’t defensive to have an opinion, its normal! Whatever normal is :P

I said a career because im in college and dont have a clue of what i want to do. But when i watch debates on tv or hear people debate i love it and get a high (like the way you put that cosmic :D lol). It gives me the same feeling i get when i see an exotic animal. Im in total bliss… I never felt like this til now and i love it, which is why i want to make a career out of it. I want to love what i do, i want to get up every morning and be happy to be going to work, and i want to express myself/opinions/thoughts/concerns.

A hobby i wouldnt mind is joining a book club/volunteering/working with animals. I love reading novels and discussing them with people, i also get a high from that. In class i would be the only one discussing the book and making people think more. My professor respected me for that :). But cant write for nothing :(…

As for a career. Debating is amazing; sharing views, discovering more about yourself and the world around you, and that all important high when your views are shared, now that is a great way to live! But it doesn’t have to be a career. There’s other places you can have your voice heard, while doing a job you love. You love animals, so anything to do with that would suit you well I am sure.
Debating can be more of a hobby, though of course any career you enjoy is a good one to go for.