[Help] i really need help deciding what im gunna do. Updates to this post /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:55:21 +0100 Reply from seah1 /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4452103 Tell your instructor so he can help you.

]]> seah1 Thu, 06 Nov 2008 05:18:40 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4357159 Fear is sometimes a good thing. Sometimes fear is telling you something would be unwise.

]]> Cell Wed, 15 Oct 2008 01:52:28 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4355982 im scared to tell him. idk why, but idk if i can tell him or how i am gunna tell him!

]]> undeveloped Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:36:06 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4354396 thanks silverwings. this person that helps me with some of my problems says the same things. like i godda look at the positive sides.

]]> undeveloped Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:10:11 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4354392 i didnt tell him yet. should i just wait to fill out the paper until i talk to him?

]]> undeveloped Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:08:51 +0100 Reply from Silverwings /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4352989 I would never try to hide the truth. As you discuss it, it lessens the symptoms that you experience, I would think. The more input you get from others, and the more support, the better you will feel. Everyone, for the most part, has to deal with some shyness, some, more than others, but, it is common to the human condition.

The more you do, the more confidant you will become. As you succeed, at every point, you will feel better and better about yourself. I would try not to label youself, and think every positive thought possible, about yourself.

Try writing them down, think about everything good you can possibly think about that makes up who you really are, and be thankful… it goes a long way.

Learn and grow, share and open up, you will be glad you did :)

(((HUGs))))

]]> Silverwings Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:18:38 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4343860 How did it go buddy?

]]> Felicity Sun, 12 Oct 2008 05:28:34 +0100 Reply from Amon /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4343382 I say go for it and try as hard as you can.

]]> Amon Sun, 12 Oct 2008 02:45:06 +0100 Reply from beatricegalant /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4337931 Tell him you want to wait with the 3rd degree belt until you feel confident enough to take such responsibility. Tell him you want to learn more about self-control as you know karate teaches you that, you don’t act upon your feelings. Telling him everything about how you feel right now and hinting him your low self-esteem at this point will definitely tell your coach you are acting upon your feelings. While telling him you want to learn more will show him how confident you are. After all, you are still developing mentally, emotionally, and otherwise, you are only 18. Ask for another year’s training.

]]> beatricegalant Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:29:30 +0100 Reply from courtybubble /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4337116 yea. its just as easy as that. say you wanna talk to him, then tell him whats on your mind. it doesnt have to be a big deal, just keep it as a small one in your mind.

]]> courtybubble Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:09:19 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4336696 thanks seah1, and everyone else.

now that i think i might tell him, but not in full detail, how do i tell him? do i just go up to him the next time i see him and tell him that i wanna talk to him? and i suck at talking to people.

]]> undeveloped Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:25:18 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4336693 no offense southern comfort, but even in karate, i get a nervous and get anxiety, when i have to go up in front of everyone. but i do have s.a.d. there isnt a day that goes by that i dont feel as though someone is talking about me, im shy, i never know what to say, i lack confidence. by me sayin im a 2nd degree black belt, doesnt mean i dont have s.a.d.

]]> undeveloped Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:24:16 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4334457 the best way to get over this is to go through it. just do it and think less about it.

]]> Felicity Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:17:56 +0100 Reply from seah1 /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4333866 You have to decide now…..be brave because God is with you. Don’t fear the future when you obey God. He will bless you throught and through.

]]> seah1 Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:13:56 +0100 Reply from southern_comfort /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4333842 Confidence comes with age. You are only 18 and are already a 2nd degree black belt. That is quite an accomplishment, in my book. I don’t believe you have SAD. Or anything else for that matter. Express your feelings to your Sensei if you want and ask him/her how you can gain more confidence to go for the next level. Your Sensei wants you to succeed. Trust their wisdom.

]]> southern_comfort Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:09:31 +0100 Reply from seah1 /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4333769 Be honest….tell what you can and can’t do at this time…..It will do you good. Ang it will give you peace of mind. I’ll pray for you. “Heavenly Father,” this morning I pray for this young person who needs guidance..that you give the right decision…enable honesty to always be part of dealings with people. Give peace of mind and joy always upon this young person…..In Jesus most precious name I pray, Amen.”

]]> seah1 Fri, 10 Oct 2008 00:57:58 +0100 35 users were invited to read this post by Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-6897659 Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:21:23 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4333368 That’s probably best. I still think the same thing.

[quote Cell]The karate coach really doesn’t want to have to deal with people’s personal issues. If you can’t handle the sport, look into doing other types of things that fit with your personality. You need to keep info like that for the closest of people like family and doctors.[/quote]

I will invite more people to advise you.

]]> Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:20:35 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4332337 ive been in karate for over 10 years. im 18 now. its not like i just go to karate and dont ever tlk to my instructor. its not like we have personal talks though. and he knows that im not the most outgoing person, and he has tried to help me, but it doenst work. he doesnt know the extent of whats wrong with me though.

]]> undeveloped Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:57:35 +0100 Reply from courtybubble /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330031 its not hes blabbing to everyone on the street, hes considering confiding in one person whom hes probably known for years.
many, many people confide in persons other than their parents or doctors. sometimes its hard to talk to those people.

]]> courtybubble Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:28:52 +0100 Reply from blue12341234 /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330027 try cognitive therapy - reject the negative thoughts… when they come actively refuse to continue a negative though as soon as you realize it’s a negative thought (such as “I lack confidence”)… I’ve found recently that there is a distinct difference between “fact” and “truth”… so you *feel* like you lack confidence, yet you say [quote undeveloped]…im really good at the physical part of being a 3rd degree…[/quote] so you don’t really lack confidence, just one part of you is feeling that… the truth is you’re fairly certain you are quite competent but you have some doubts… it’s ok to have doubts… I think if you push though I you’ll be fine!

Cheers

]]> blue12341234 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:28:14 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330024 If you tell stuff like that to random people they will start to look at you like you are a crazy person. It is not socially advantageous for a guy to talk with his coach about his feelings and about a social anxiety disorder.

]]> Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:27:38 +0100 Reply from courtybubble /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330012 well if his karate coach is a mentor then he for sure could confide in him.

]]> courtybubble Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:25:22 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330010 The karate coach really doesn’t want to have to deal with people’s personal issues. If you can’t handle the sport, look into doing other types of things that fit with your personality. You need to keep info like that for the closest of people like family and doctors.

]]> Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:24:44 +0100 Reply from courtybubble /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4330000 [quote Kyle_01]Hah, i used to be a 2nd degree black, but i quit. Wasn’t being challenged enough…..[/quote]

i wouldnt think that people will look down on you. god, everyone needs help at some point in their life. its impossible to do everything on your own. talk about it now before it gets worse.

]]> courtybubble Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:22:18 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329992 [quote undeveloped]why shouldnt i tell him how i feel?

im not bragging, but im really good at the physical part of being a 3rd degree, but i dont have the mental abilities to do what i have to.

do i tell him that im not ready for 3rd?[/quote]

People will really look down on you if you start telling people you can’t handle things and have social anxiety disorder. I know it’s not nice but it’s the way of the world.

]]> Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:20:22 +0100 Reply from (>'')>~~~Kyle /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329990 [quote Urine Sane]id talk to him, see what he says, at least make sure he knows about your doubts.
youd be surprised what youre capable of however, and he obviously believes youre ready for it.
btw kyle, thanks for the macho display there but it wasnt really nessecary man.[/quote]

Macho display?? lol. Didn’t sound macho to me,

]]> (>'')>~~~Kyle Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:19:58 +0100 Reply from (>'')>~~~Kyle /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329983 [quote undeveloped]i do help teach now. thats the requirement for our 3rd. i just dont stand up for myself. i dont have that confidence.

lately ive been fallin away from karate, so i dont have as much interest as i once did in karate. i dont really have a character there. i just do my own thing, i cant seem to make myself put myself out there[/quote]

I guess that’s kinda why i quit too. Our instructors couldn’t show us up, we weren’t being challenged (my friend and i) so we eventually lost interest. Tell him to not go easy on u guys. Tell him to make it like fricken boot camp lol

]]> (>'')>~~~Kyle Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:19:19 +0100 Reply from courtybubble /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329966 id talk to him, see what he says, at least make sure he knows about your doubts.
youd be surprised what youre capable of however, and he obviously believes youre ready for it.
btw kyle, thanks for the macho display there but it wasnt really nessecary man.

]]> courtybubble Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:14:46 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329963 i do help teach now. thats the requirement for our 3rd. i just dont stand up for myself. i dont have that confidence.

lately ive been fallin away from karate, so i dont have as much interest as i once did in karate. i dont really have a character there. i just do my own thing, i cant seem to make myself put myself out there

]]> undeveloped Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:14:32 +0100 Reply from (>'')>~~~Kyle /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329945 Hah, i used to be a 2nd degree black, but i quit. Wasn’t being challenged enough…. I’m sure u know, but the reason those questions are there is because from there on out, if u are old enough, you will need teaching experience to earn your next belt (4th degree). It’s pretty much a requirement. The point of karate is for self defense sure, but also to develope character. The more u do it the more u will get used to it.

Talk to him about it and see what he says.

]]> (>'')>~~~Kyle Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:12:19 +0100 Reply from undeveloped /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329939 why shouldnt i tell him how i feel?

im not bragging, but im really good at the physical part of being a 3rd degree, but i dont have the mental abilities to do what i have to.

do i tell him that im not ready for 3rd?

]]> undeveloped Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:11:58 +0100 Reply from Cell /post/205502-i-really-need-help-deciding-what-im#reply-4329925 There must be some part of you that feels confident in proceeding in this area. Focus on that part and listen for answers from there.

If there is no part of you that is ready for this perhaps this isn’t the thing for you.

And no, you shouldn’t talk to him about your feelings.

]]> Cell Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:09:45 +0100