[Help] How are we supposed to rehabilitate our children who Updates to this post /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:06:17 +0100 Reply from pink sparkle /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4530176 Spanking is part of the culture in our country though we have laws against it.Spanking doesn’t work. The kid would rebel later and then be immune to spanking. My mom hits my brothers and it only made US hate her more. She tells us, when we were kids that violence is not that answer and she doesn’t practice what she preaches. So don’t spank your kids. I put a lot of emotional distance from my mom. So that when I mess up (like getting the wrong answer after she explains the homework), she wouldn’t have a reason to hit me like what she does to my brothers. I let my dad teach me cause he never gets tired expalining things all over again when I get confused again. :)

I think it really depends on the kid. What works for some might not work for others.
I read an article that giving time out had negative effects on the psychological well being of the kid.

Have you tried sitting your kid down and talking to them? When I was a kid, my dad just sits me down and tells me of my mistakes. I grew up loving him more and more. He’s my idol and my hero.

Why it works: Because sitting me down and dad looking straight into my eyes make me feel guilty. Everyone hates confrontations especially one-on-one. Even kids hate it. It’s because during that confrontation, you’d see how disappointed your dad is, and you feel so ashamed of what you did. You feel that you had really hurt your dad. My logic ever since was that he’s my dad and HE’s my mom and I shouldn’t do anything to hurt him because he never hurt me. (He did made a bad choice of marrying my mom but he’s not responsible for mom’s actions). Since my dad never did hurt me, I grew up with the awareness that he loves me. When I was a kid, I’d tell my friends that Dad loves me because he never hits me. This acts as my conscience. I try to be at my best behavior because dad commend it. I try to stay away from trouble and bad influences because I don’t want Dad to worry. I do good in school, because I want to make Dad proud. So I try to be a good person because I love my dad so much. I hate my mom. Oh well…

I don’t know how you treat your kids but I hope you’d always show them that you love them so much. I hope to that your kids would be aware of that. Nothing overcomes evil better than love.

]]> pink sparkle Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:41:20 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529927 [quote pianoman9189]spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.[/quote]

YOu know what everyone, your all right.It depends on the kid what and how much works.I rarely had to discipline my daughter but my son needed it more.They are individuals and should be treated and taught as such.

]]> Felicity Tue, 25 Nov 2008 04:33:38 +0100 Reply from beaumoon80 /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529796 Find a “punishment” that suits the crime. If the child is misbehaving and taking things away does not work it ussually means that something is lacking emotionally… (Quality time.)

]]> beaumoon80 Tue, 25 Nov 2008 03:58:28 +0100 Reply from MandaDarlin' /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529512 [quote pianoman9189][quote FIGHT THE POWAH][quote pianoman9189][quote pianoman9189]spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.[/quote]and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.[/quote]

ground rarely works.[/quote]

it all depends what you ground them from, and how long you ground them. the worse, the bigger, and longer the ground[/quote]

Grounding never worked for me. Nor did spanking. What parents need to do is find a way to discipline children in a way that steers them straight in the long run.

]]> MandaDarlin' Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:23:35 +0100 Reply from Darth Pianoman~~~ /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529418 [quote FIGHT THE POWAH][quote pianoman9189][quote pianoman9189]spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.[/quote]and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.[/quote]

ground rarely works.[/quote]

it all depends what you ground them from, and how long you ground them. the worse, the bigger, and longer the ground

]]> Darth Pianoman~~~ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:50:06 +0100 Reply from THE INTERNET /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529413 grounding them stops them from doing it for like a day.

]]> THE INTERNET Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:48:53 +0100 Reply from THE INTERNET /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529410 [quote pianoman9189][quote pianoman9189]spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.[/quote]and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.[/quote]

ground rarely works.

]]> THE INTERNET Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:48:25 +0100 Reply from Darth Pianoman~~~ /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529400 [quote pianoman9189]spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.[/quote]

and grounding them is a great way to make sure they know.

]]> Darth Pianoman~~~ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:46:11 +0100 Reply from Darth Pianoman~~~ /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529396 spanking them does NOTHING and usually only makes matters worse. spanking is “alright” EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!! but if you spank them every time they do wrong, then they’re only going to reject you, and this can cause bad relationships in the future once the child understands “abuse.” and even if it’s not abuse, it’s pretty close. just let them know what they did wrong, and make sure they know about it, but without the pain.

]]> Darth Pianoman~~~ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:44:24 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529386 [quote Vilén]Like taking away privileges is going to do anything. The kid’ll say sorry and whine. The next day? Nothing. Forgotten.Everyone in today’s cowardly bourgeois society says stuff like “think about the children!” and “what about the kids!?” You know what I say? Screw ‘em. Screw the children. We’re pampering the hell out of them, and if they don’t learn to stand on their own 2 feet, they’ll finish last.[/quote]

YOu have a good point Vilen but theres no balance.it seems yours is extreme where others are too leniant.(not adresssing anyone here,just in general.) and yes, taking away things the child likes the most does work as long as the parent explains and does not do it out of anger but more of a lesson.

]]> Felicity Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:39:49 +0100 Reply from Vilén /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529365 Like taking away privileges is going to do anything. The kid’ll say sorry and whine. The next day? Nothing. Forgotten.

Everyone in today’s cowardly bourgeois society says stuff like “think about the children!” and “what about the kids!?” You know what I say? Screw ‘em. Screw the children. We’re pampering the hell out of them, and if they don’t learn to stand on their own 2 feet, they’ll finish last.

]]> Vilén Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:32:43 +0100 Reply from Felicity /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529361 I think rehabilitate is a strong word. They are little human beings in the learning process., they dont need rehab-ilitated.they need to be taught.Maybe disciplined is the word you were looking for? In any case I agree a good swat on the butt with a hand is good and healthy and should be done more like it used to be.Anything beyond that is abuse.

]]> Felicity Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:31:20 +0100 Reply from MandaDarlin' /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529354 [quote LiLsexithang1]no im not saying spankings…im saying take something away from them..like a favorite toy or a party depending on the age[/quote]

I know perfectly well what you said. I never said that you were talking about spanking. The poster is.

]]> MandaDarlin' Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:28:39 +0100 Reply from LiLsexithang1 /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529335 no im not saying spankings…im saying take something away from them..like a favorite toy or a party depending on the age

]]> LiLsexithang1 Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:22:41 +0100 Reply from MandaDarlin' /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529332 [quote LiLsexithang1]I dont have children but i do think that if u really want to get a hold of ur child or make them realize wut they have done is wrong..u should take something away from them that u know they really love. or if they have a party to go to..they cant go. something that u know that will make them upset because they cant have it or cant go. wutever the case is[/quote]

Depends on the child. Like spanking, that can sometimes just make matters worse.

]]> MandaDarlin' Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:21:35 +0100 Reply from MandaDarlin' /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529325 Well, first, you should teach them to not make poor choices in the first place and you should NEVER expect them to make poor choices. Rather than thinking about how to punish or discipline a child who makes poor choices, focus on making sure they don’t make those poor choices in the first place.

]]> MandaDarlin' Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:20:28 +0100 Reply from LiLsexithang1 /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529324 I dont have children but i do think that if u really want to get a hold of ur child or make them realize wut they have done is wrong..u should take something away from them that u know they really love. or if they have a party to go to..they cant go. something that u know that will make them upset because they cant have it or cant go. wutever the case is

]]> LiLsexithang1 Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:19:38 +0100 Reply from Vilén /post/221131-how-are-we-supposed-to-rehabilitate#reply-4529309 I know. White-corrective-politics has f**ked the country up.

]]> Vilén Tue, 25 Nov 2008 01:14:23 +0100