It’s a scary thing to look in a mirror and not recognize yourself, to see a dying soul reflected in your own eyes, and to have physically allowed myself to show my lost of self respect.

but its not a sad story, I am now a vibrant, healthy, vital young woman in a loving relationship with someone appreciates what I bring to the table and I respect his offerings.

But not only has the change occurred in a relationship of love, but in everything I do…my intereaction with my children, my work and my daily interactions with anyone. My self respect is my confidence, my confidence is my armour against those who attempt to offend/hurt me. It is much easier to deflect careless acts/words of others now than ever before. To speak up when I am hurt…boy did that one take a long time!!!!

My mother was a wise woman, I miss her greatly, and as I grow and learn I understand and see the wisdom of her favorite saying….”I love myself…who do you love?” she would always say it with the biggest smile and a twinkle in her eye… the secrets of her wisdom continue to unfold before me, even though she has been gone for 6 years.

Hugs Rich…xo and Merry Christmas and may all good things be yours in the New Year..healthy, happiness and love!

Thank you for your input Ramblingman. I know about good feelings. And in a break-up I believe we must keep the good with the bad. It actually is easier to keep the good memories. The bad memories tend to fade even quicker. That is how so many couples can find themselves back together after a time. They remember only the good feeling, quite forgetting the hurt they felt before. Remember the good and the bad; it helps to keep perspective.

Thank Cosmic Fool… I wish you a very merry Christmas as well :)

Thank you for your input Shie… you’ve learned a valuable lesson. But :) can you see when YOU are changing yourself for someone else? That, I think, is more common.

Thank you Libra… another wise lesson. We’re so lucky to have so many wise, beautiful women on this site!

Silver, thank you so much for your kind words. I do work with relationships in my practice. I do not yet have a workshop, but that’s a great idea! You mentioned divorce being the same in and out of a religious marriage. That reminded me of something I read. I read that many of our divorces are troubled, and wounded break-ups because the marriage was a bond within the confines of the spirit. The divorce however is as far away from spirit as one could get! This creates a great amount of shame. For example… I was married in the Catholic Church, and even though the State says I’m divorced, the Church does not recognize it. The church says that in the eyes of God, I am still married, and if I lay with another woman now I am committing adultery. So, some form of spiritual break-up might be the way to go too (when necessary).

also, the words i love you are just words… we need to see past those words because ANYONE can say those words… but it takes actions to prove it…

Relationships… seem to be probably the very biggest problem that we all face, and something that we are never fully prepared for seems like.

There is much wisdom in this post, that can and should be applied.

I feel that much more work in this area needs to be done, since the divorce rate is so very high… 1 in 2, in the US, and I think it is the same in the church, as outside of the church, which is sad, and def. needs to be addressed.

I think a program needs to exist that will help partners to explore in great depth the issues of marriage, beforehand, in order to be better equipped for the journey, and much more able to live a happy productive life, together, in unity, rather than to have to endure the strife and pain that come, when two individuals cannot find answers to the perplexing problems, they face.

If you took this one area, and expanded it, into a very indepth study, that could be marketed as such, I think there would be a great demand for it. Even if it took a lifetime to complete, you would have left a powerful legacy, one that would help multitudes of generations coming afterwards.

I really think you have the ability to bring this forth, and it is something that I have longed for, and feel very necessary and vital, to the poplation at large.

I will cheer you on in your endeavors, and help in any way that I can, if need be.

Also, I would like it very much, if you made a post of this on SOE, and I will make a note of this post, to refer people to, that might be helped.

Keep it up…..

and God bless…..