Tell your story. And let me be very clear here.
I don’t mean tell HER story. That is different.
Tell YOUR story. YOUR experience.
What happens in your life is yours. Your experience of events is unique.

You can always use pseudonyms and aliases.
And publish under a pseudonym as well.

Nothing wrong with that if you ask me.

Good luck finding something.

Maybe what happened was a peak experience.
But there is a certain satisfaction and enjoyment that come from the trek back down the mountain.
Once you’ve come back down, you can see there other mountain tops in the mountain range.
But they don’t seem as insurmountable from the top, only from the bottom.

Does my analogy make sense?

You may wish to consider working as an emergency medical technician, or fireman or policeman . . . but realize that all jobs will have dull and boring interludes.

As for myself, after a career in the military, boring interludes are rather welcome.

I really like the name of your new business… I’d go with that.

As i said, it was a peak experience; there was nothing comparable to the fight and the winning of it. If nothing else ever happens, I have made a dent in the cold, cruel existential world. I defied an army of well-wishing friends and family who told me there was nothing that could be done, that it wasn’t my problem, that I should just walk away. They were wrong. Clergy was wrong. Experts in the arena who said nothing could be done were wrong. Huge stuff. There’s a lot to be joyful about - except everything from here on out will be less than that.

I’d do this stuff for a living, in a New York minute, if I could find a way to get room and board. I could stand another heart attack - there are even far worse ways to die. The problem is, where do you push from here? Do I open an office - “Windmills Tilted And Conquered?” Put an ad in the paper, like The Goodies? ~grin~

At the moment, I have no idea how to proceed in any direction.

I would counter your last statement, however, Richard; self is only the beginning, not an end or goal. We are worthless without use to others (at least from my POV).

As John Donne said, no man is an island - I spent many years (and a philosophy degree) working on defining myself, only to find true definition of myself in putting my life on the line for something that did not involve me. What are you willing to surrender - what are you willing to give away? What are you willing to die for? These questions, when framed in in a very concrete sense, are the masters degree in self actualization. It belies ego and and self delusion. Had this situation been a theoretical one, I could have told myself what I would do in most noble terms - only in facing it did I find out what I was truly capable of.

We are spiritual creatures in a physical form. We are all about the evolution of the spirit. If you’re not working on that, then you’ve come no where close to completing your purpose, or to Self Actualization.

Bright blessings ~ Richard