[Help] My ex-boyfriend won't date me again because he's afraid of "hurting me." Help!

Reply from cpete

cpete — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:00:08 +0100

I’ve dealt with a similar situation before, and it can work out. First, it depends on what he did to “hurt” you the last time. Assuming he didn’t cheat or physically or emotionally abuse you, there is no reason not to see him again if that’s what you want.
That said, that line about not wanting to hurt you again may be true, but it’s pure crap. If he wanted to be with you again, he would find a way to be with you. Allow him to make the moves, such as on Valentine’s Day. Instead of texting and calling him, make it clear that you will no longer be the only one to work for this relationship by waiting for him to put forth effort as well. It is important for him to realize that he needs you just as much as you need him. If he ultimately doesn’t, then you have your answer, and you both need to move on. If that is the case, do yourself a favor and stop talking to him daily and give yourself a chance to get over him.
On a final note, the girl he mentioned may just be a way to make you jealous if he wants you back. The key is that if the other girl is real, DO NOT let him play with your heart by seeing the two of you at once. It does both of you a disservice. If he truly loves you, he will not move on that quickly to someone else.
In the end, honesty is necessary. If you are honest with him, and most importantly with yourself, you will know how to proceed. Good luck.

Reply from Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:51:46 +0100

“Don’t message mean things. It’s not going to want him to come back to you sooner.”
*It’s not going to make him want to come back to you sooner*

Reply from loveyabunche

loveyabunche — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 04:11:10 +0100

three months….umm thats hardly a relationship.

Reply from Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 18:51:08 +0100

Sorry that line a was supposed to say “It’s not going to make him want to come back to you sooner.” my brain was going faster than I could type.

Reply from Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 18:50:04 +0100

Honey, look, somebody’s gottta tell you the truth. He doesn’t want to be with you. You pushing and begging and asking all the time is bound to get annoying. he is going to get really angry at you one of these days and refuse to talk to you all together. Why not let him go. If he comes back he was always yours. If he never comes back, he never was. Go and find somebody that wants to be with you. This boy might also be mad that you send him nasty-grams. Don’t message mean things. It’s not going to want him to come back to you sooner.
Sorry to be blunt, but I think you need it at this point.
Good luck

Reply from nicolefleuri

nicolefleuri — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 17:34:12 +0100

if a guy wants to be with you, nothing will stop him. my advice to you is to move on