Updates to this post /post/283008-and-my-other-poem Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:06:06 +0100 /post/283008-and-my-other-poem#reply-5056389 Your rhyme scheme is inconsistent to the point that when you rhyme it seems like you were trying to before and couldn’t. So you should either rearrange the lines and phrases to give it better meter, or you should stop trying to make any of it rhyme, because everytime, you make a rhyme, that isn’t fine, it feels benign, because they’re too close together and then it feels wierd when they stop for a bit and pick up on another line.

]]> Daedelus Sat, 06 Jun 2009 11:16:20 +0100