[Help] I'm Monica, a 31 year old woman, married for 15 years and still very much in love.

Reply from muhakma

muhakma — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:51:21 +0100

If he had thrown away all the chances u have given him. and even though u made his fantasies come true thats he still cheating, he doesn’t sound like the right person in my opinion.

Reply from romerojrd197

romerojrd197 — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:12:30 +0100

What do you mean Muhakma

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muhakma — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:45:20 +0100

Reply from theoratica

theoratica — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:43:17 +0100

I am not qualified to comment on this because first of all I am not married nor have I ever had a relationship longer than six months, barely.. anyways, but to me, based on what you’ve written, it sounds like you have given him way too many slacks. You have let him betray and use you. In my opinion, relationships are active partnerships, and need continuous maintenance over time, and if your husband does not seem to be willing to put the effort into your relationship, long term this may be a headache you don’t want to deal with. I understand you want to be with him, but your kind and forgiving heart seems to be the reason why he allows himself to hurt you. Maybe you should give him a wake up call, threaten to leave, or leave for a short time and see what his reaction is. I know having kids doesn’t make this easy or perhaps possible, but what I am saying is, create a leverage for yourself to control him. I am really sorry to hear about your problem.

Reply from muhakma

muhakma — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:35:55 +0100

doesn’t sound like he has the same plans to me.

Reply from romerojrd197

romerojrd197 — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:55:23 +0100

Thank you muhakma, you sound like a really wise person, I just wish this pain i have inside of me could at least grow a little smaller, I have 4 kids and i hate being like this around them, but i feel like im breaking, and leaving him makes me think he will never look for me and it scares me been alone, ive known this man since i was 13 years old, I feel like my life will end with out him.

Reply from muhakma

muhakma — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:38:55 +0100

I can think of 3 sayings for this. the first. “We may love someone, but that doesn’t mean we are suppose to end up with them.” The next 2 your gonna know if ur fans of madea. “If someone shows you who they are….believe them”. And the last if my favorite. “Ppl in life are like trees. You got your leaves who you can’t trust cause they move with the wind. The branches that will trick you into thinking they gonna stay but when a stronger wind comes they fold under the pressure. But if u can find a root, then your set cause they stick with you for life.” I might have changed the wording a bit, but i hope this helps ya.