[Help] Here is a song i wrote, tell me honestly how bad it is please. Updates to this post /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:13:12 +0100 Reply from hsmfrea /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103416 well thnx. i never put a tune to it. all the tunes i have tried sounded cheesy so yeah.

]]> hsmfrea Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:15:20 +0100 Reply from Barbyman /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103412 I agree with hsmfrea get rid of that verse all together and some of it is not quite in Order To sing or play.I was just humming it certain things didn’t feel right,but work on it and it could be worth listening to…

]]> Barbyman Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:10:01 +0100 Reply from hsmfrea /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103410 and here is a small part of a song that i gave up on

As I sit here all alone
Wishing you didnt have to go
I think of how you’ve loved me
I remember all you’ve done for me
I cherish those memories

That twinkle in your eyes
Would always bring a smile
When you called my name
Everything was worth while
Not matter how I was feeling
You brought shear joy
Now those are just memories

You were my encouragement
You kept me going strong
But since you left
Each day seems twice as long
I need you back with me
Need to see you again
Maybe you can lift my spirits
And we can still be friends

Lately it’s been so lonely
Dull and boring all the time
I want you to save me from this
So I can call you mine

]]> hsmfrea Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:05:34 +0100 Reply from Beautiful Redemption /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103408 just keep on the same topic and thought. Also there needs to be closure, or a solution. Some conflict resolution to your situation. Whether it be let’s take a chance, or maybe I’ll miss out, or it’s not worth it…? something to help close the issue. It’s almost like you have many issues with no closure, they’re just open ended. Listen to songs you like. Really really listen and follow the words and story. It’s like any story, there’s background, conflict, climax, resolution. Usually the verses explain the background leading to conflict (can be used in chorus) then usually the bridge is the crescendo leading to the climax then a decrescendo bringing the listener to the resolution.

]]> Beautiful Redemption Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:05:27 +0100 Reply from hsmfrea /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103403 oh yeah sory. that was not supposed to be in there. thnx how can i make it better?

]]> hsmfrea Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:00:13 +0100 Reply from Beautiful Redemption /post/289982-here-is-a-song-i-wrote-tell-me-hon#reply-5103402 I like…but

Verse 3

Your smile makes me melt
But you can’t keep a promise
You make me laugh till I cry
But what’s with all these lies
And how could I have been so blind
To not see who you really are

this part doesn’t go with the conflict you felt in the beginning. It was about the confusion of them being your friend, now they’re a liar? Now I’m the one that’s confused. Let the thoughts flow and try not to jumble.

]]> Beautiful Redemption Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:58:57 +0100