But
Positive thinking can make you able to do anything better.

I heard this somewhere, and I like it. There is a balance that includes an honest appraisal of our circumstances and who we are, yet is NOT negative and self-defeating. This balance is optimistic, yet is NOT in a fantasy world. You can lose this balance in either direction:

1. Some people have lost the balance in one direction and are in denial. They think that if they try something that doesn’t work for the thousandth time, it will finally work if only they try harder and think more positive. Their expectations are not realistic. They fall for get-rich-quick schemes and think that they will somehow get everything they ever wanted without any pain and sacrifice and work. They think there is some secret that will someday make them immune to the human condition. They harshly judge people who are down and out - even themselves whenever they are. They often think that they have to do it alone, and most keep believing that someday they will wakeup and finally be able to do what wasn’t working. When they are struggling, these people will be helped by facing reality and saying, “This isn’t working, and it never will. I need to try something very different.” They are just in denial.

2. Some people have lost the balance in the other direction and are perpetually negative. They blame everyone for their problems. They refuse to open to the idea that anything could EVER improve. They do the same things over and over and know that nothing will ever change. And because of this, it actually won’t. For any suggestion you have, they have an answer about why it won’t help. They never look at the good things that they have. They cannot accept this hard world as it is. They think the world should be perfect and fair, and they focus relentlessly on the imperfections. They cannot see the good, because the bad has overwhelmed them. They are just in despair.

Of course, we all have some of both.

*BUT
It is possible to be optimistic - WITHOUT being in denial. Possible to be honest and realistic - WITHOUT being negative and helpless. This is to accept the highly imperfect nature of everyone, without giving-up.

Positive is good. Realistic and genuine are good too. And these things are perfectly compatible.