[Help] I fell in love with a seminarian/future priest and now am truly heartbroken. Updates to this post /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:13:10 +0100 The post was edited by catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-5670011 catlover Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:15:09 +0100 The post was opened by catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-5669991 catlover Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:13:08 +0100 The post was closed by catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-5669953 catlover Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:09:35 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3719738 thank you Ladyofthe raven. Your advise and words make a lot of sense. Your experience was more real than mine so I admire you for your courage and how you for the sake of God, let him go. Your right about putting God first. I am learning and working on that in all areas of my life. I know now after time, that it was just a real huge infatuation, not love. I recieved an inviation to his ordination and I do plan on going because I told him that I would. Honestly, I thought it might be easier if he changed his mind about inviting me that way it wouldnt open an old wound that I believe has healed. Maybe attending this special ceremony will be a way for me to completely close the door 100%.

God Bless and thank you for your prayers

]]> catlover Fri, 09 May 2008 16:49:58 +0100 Reply from ladyoftheraven /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3719331 Oh my dear, I’m sorry you had to go through this. We do so often project our ideal love, our ideal man…on all sorts of people. Hopefully time has healed part of your wounds and you can arise from the pain enriched and with more self-knowledge. I once loved a brother (with simple vows, not a priest), and there was no “flock” to keep him committed and no Sacrament that would have him forever consecrated. Moreover, our relationship was very profound and involved, not a series of meetings and promises, but a heartbreaking romance full of love and regret and tears. However, it had been many years since he had chosen this way of life, he was already formed as a consecrated person, and in the end, I think he would have lived with a sense of guilt and a lack of fulfillment…had he asked for a dispensation from his vows. As horrible as it was, in the end I think it was for the best that he continued on with his vocation and I with mine. I think we both really grew to know ourselves more, our weakness as poor human beings, our total dependence on God and Grace…

I miss him terribly and love him with all my heart. But love cannot be selfish and possessive. Love must overcome itself and wish that which is best for the loved one. I pray daily for his vocation, for his relationship with God, his sanctification, his happiness. And yes, I am alone, but God clasps my tears in His palms, I know he does, and the most loving thing I can do for the man I love, is entrust him to my Lord, his Lord, our Lord Jesus.

My advice to any and all who fall in love: never put a man or a woman before Jesus. He is our Everything. Deus meum, et Omnia.

My prayers and heartfelt compassion is with you.

]]> ladyoftheraven Fri, 09 May 2008 10:55:23 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3636955 Since it’s been months since I’ve put this post and still get replies, I thought that I should let you guys know that I have not contacted this guy whatsoever. The only communication is a Congratulations card that I sent him after HE mailed me an invitation to his ordination to deacon. I DONT plan on contacting him any other time. I had plenty of oppurtunities to see him at a nearby parish but I have chosen NOT to go there- dont want to open an old wound that is healing.

Thanks for all your input.

]]> catlover Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:43:01 +0100 Reply from bachisgrea /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3635038 While I feel sympathy for your feelings, if you try to pursue anything with this man, you are doing a *grave* disservice to yourself, the seminarian, and the Church. If you derail him from his studies, you will deprive the Church of the help he can give to hundreds - which is more important than your “butterflies.” In the seminary, girls like you are known as “chalice chippers”. Do yourself and the Church a favor and MOVE ON. Offer this sadness to the Lord and forget about this man. Do not contact him, have nothing to do with him any longer except for prayers to God that he will do the Lord’s will. I know this might sound harsh, but it’s the truth you need to hear, from a seminarian. You are in my prayers.

]]> bachisgrea Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:19:30 +0100 Reply from thunderizarunne /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3609997 I am also inlove with a seminarian..I fell inlove
with him before I knew he was one
(I have been a Alter server for 12 years
at my Parish :( )

]]> thunderizarunne Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:20:35 +0100 Reply from Angelich /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3581981 HI there,

I have a similar situation. It’s kind of scary when I think about it. I lost my spouse and the parish priest was so great with me and my children. I looked forward to seeing him at mass and receiving communion. Then he got transferred and I thought, here we go again. Everyone I am close to either dies, or moves away, and in his case he became pastor of his own church. I’m very happy for him. I went with some of our parishioners to see him installed as the new pastor. It was very moving. I don’t know why he came into my life when he did. All I know is I miss him terribly. I don’t think he thinks of me in that way. I know he is always happy to see me when he visits the parish and I am there.
I guess I am attracted to the love he has for the Lord and what a good person he is. I wish him well and hope to move on with my life.

]]> Angelich Sun, 30 Mar 2008 18:13:05 +0100 Reply from notangelb4 /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3575485 Im glad to know Im not alone. But just like what other people who experienced having a special bonding with with these special men, they are not so different with the ordinary guys except that they are more prayerful and more commited with their vows; maybe thats why we are more likely get attracted to them, they too are human who got crushes and fall in love but like a faithful husbands who somewhere in their lives fall for another one they are the ones who more inlove with their wife which is the church and even have the full commitment with their vows; for if not the man ask you to marry him and left the church.. I got hurt with the truth that he loves he vow more that he loves me but come to think about it he doesnt love any ordinary woman over me he chose to love the people who needs him in seeking God. What we can do now is to also pray for these men who chose to serve God rather than us to continue their commitment and hold on to their vows and surely God will give us more graces in helping those who are faithfull with Him. Angel

]]> notangelb4 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:38:53 +0100 Reply from youandmebelieve12397 /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3565105 Girlfriend,
I hate to break it to you, but the guy was just being nice to you, people say things like ’stop over’ all the time. I hope by now you have moved on. I also would say you didn’t fall into ‘love’ with him, but was more infatuated by him. I know this by experience. Sorry to be so harsh, but I think a lot of time has passed and hopefully you are not even reading this!

]]> youandmebelieve12397 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:47:13 +0100 Reply from dmc0105200 /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-3044473 I’ve read your post. It sounds very fimiliar. I had the same problem, only difference is that I was the Priest’s secretary for 5 years….Try that one out! I know your pain. I feel your pain. He said we needed to detach not amputate. Mine was a no win situation. It’s been a year and it still hurts like it was yesterday.

]]> dmc0105200 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 20:12:19 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2852225 have you talked to him yet?

]]> pamark Sun, 08 Jul 2007 13:31:31 +0100 Reply from trippple_s_ /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2848502 please i need help i love my cousins ex boyfriend we have been fine for this year and when i travelled, he saw my cousin and called her, he told her happy birthday and sang to her happy birthday then he told her to tell me to call him! because he couldnt tell me he didnt have my number then he said somthing about the guy she cheated with him… i really love him! what should i do? and does he love her again?

]]> trippple_s_ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 01:12:43 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749945 yep sure does.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:50:17 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749633 Love hurts

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:28:27 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749627 God bless you too!!

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:27:29 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749624 your right Panmark.

I guess I did my part…….thank you. Please pray for me and God Bless you.

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:27:01 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749609 I wouldn’t go to the other chuch for awhile and see what happens, see if he calls or emails you. put the ball in his court.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:25:35 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749552 so your saying that I should not attend a service at the other church he will be on sundays? But why would he tell me where he was tranferring to? I even told him I would have to visit that church sometimes and he said, please do. I just dont feel comfortable going unless he contacts me first since I feel rejected by him now. I was really praying for that phone call before he finally left.

Yes your right, time does heal but its hard to look ahead when you are hurting now. I do apprecite all of your input tho. thank you soo much!

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:19:39 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749482 Yes I agree let him contact you. Although, don’t expect it. I think he likes you, but he is commited somewhere else. As for the pain, time. time heals.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:12:40 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749443 I guess what I should have asked is why did he invite me to visit if he never followed through on his invitation. I took initiative and went there and he wasnt there. I think he should have initiated the next time since i put effort

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:07:13 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749434 but how can I stop the pain I feel? I feel so alone and empty and devasted that he is gone now. I dont know if this is love or what but it hurts. Why did he invite me to “visit the rectory sometime” and then only to find him not there and then he doesnt even call before he finally left.

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 21:05:03 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749387 yes, if they were engrossed in a conversation, sure why not. He seems like a really nice guy. He would of at least smiled or gave a slight wave. I don’t think he saw you. However, knowing that you can only be friends…. can you accept that? Are you setting yourself up for a hard fall? I think sweetie that you just might be.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:57:35 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749163 thank you Pamark. Do you think its possible he just didnt see me. I cant imagine him not even saying hello. I walked right past them!

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:32:56 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749153 he was busy….one track minded sometimes we all do it.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:31:09 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749092 it was a beautiful friendship that I feel now was crushed when I pretended to not see him yesterday and he kept going.

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:27:55 +0100 Reply from pamark /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749066 My heart tugs for you, if he is making a commitment to the church, he will probably stand by that commitment. I’m sorry that you have gone through this but you have made a beautiful friendship. In lue of him changing religions you have to know that it probably wasn’t meant to be. I hope you find the man of your dreams, darlin I really really do.

]]> pamark Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:24:14 +0100 Reply from catlover /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2749046 He is a really really nice man and thats why I think I feel for him so much and he loves God which is important for me. It doesnt help that I am also very physically attracted to him and hes gorgeous! I get so nervous around him. I guess he can never let me know if he ever felt the same since his focus is just on finishing seminary school and becoming a priest in one year! He won’t be at the other parish for another month as he is taking a month month vacation to Mexico to see family but I feel akward visiting him at the new parish because I feel he might think i’m there to follow him. Also, since hes never called for that “walk” and he ignored me yesterday, I feel hurt, rejected. I really want him to call me and tell me to come see him at the new parish!

]]> catlover Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:22:20 +0100 Reply from Mï†z¥-superMODel /post/81027-i-fell-in-love-with-a-seminarianfu#reply-2748920 Wow, that’s quite a story! He seems like a nice man who wouldn’t intentionally break your heart or ignore you. Perhaps he doesn’t realize how you feel about him? Or perhaps he feels the same way and is also afraid or nervous to let you know? He did tell you where he would be, so I would take that as an invite and go see him. So many coincidences of you two having opportunities to be together, sounds like maybe it’s meant to be.

]]> Mï†z¥-superMODel Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:11:45 +0100