Mini-Profile
I am struglling all my life. I dont know why and what for? I am attractive 32 years old woman, with few diplomas in a pocket. But I dont have the most important thing - happiness.
I experienced abusive childhood (alcohol, manipulative mother), my dad’s death( lung cancer, he was dying and I was only looking at him and couldnt do anything to rescue him. My dad was my best friend), rape , serious financial problems, depression and social phobia( I am still on tablets and have no other support, very abusive relationships with men)
I moved to UK one year ago. I am still very lonely, I had met a few man here but was always ending up with broken heart. Now I am going trough the same - unhappy love.
Why so many difficulties? I am very well educated, people are saing that inteligent and talented - photography, drawing.
I dont like my life. I wanted to kill myself many times. But I was always scared of dying in pain.
I cant longer, I am very tired. I prayed a lot and red many psychological books. I used to meditate, tried to live only at present moment but I am still very unhappy.
I need help. !!!!