carolinablu123's reply history at Help.com

If you say that you guys are friends, shouldn’t you trust him enough to tell him how you feel? I mean it very well could be that you just want something you cant have, which is something that a lot of people need to deal with. I just went through something like that. but unfortunately, in my case, he took me in. And when i realized what i was doing to him i had to end it and it hurt him even more then if i had just let him go.

I never told him exactly what was going on, and now i have lost someone i could have remained close with. So talk ot this boy, tell him whats going on, and see what he thinks. You are a smart person. If you dont think so, look at what you are doing, you are seeking help, which is a step in the right direction

Love is an interesting thing. It cant be controlled or forced. And it will always carry its polar opposite. Pain. You may feel like it may not be real, or that you may have missed it, but if you really want love, you have to work for it. Its different for everyone. At the moment, i cant trust anyone because i have been hurt to many times, and if i cant trust i cant love. And that is something that cause more pain then soo many other things in this world. But i am trying to work through it. Any fear you have about missing it can make it that much harder to keep working for it, but just hang in there. And remember that pain maybe loves polar oppisite and always be tagging behind it, but when it comes down to it, love will always be worth it.

No… the only thing i have gained is the inability ot trust anyone. I cant even talk to my own family. Not that my home life is anything nice. So now i see a therapist for different reasons then before. I cant talk to anyone in my family. Yet, there is a shimmer of hope. I have learned how to move on, and also that just because something went wrong, doesnt mean its my fault. And hopefully, this will lead me down the path to be able to love once again.

wow.. i havent been on this for a while. And no i dont, i suffered to much abuse from this kid that no one in the universe would love him like i did. He began to use his depression as excuses to get “stuff” from people (stuff meaning pity, opr hysical desires) ANd i would give it to him thinking that maybe he would love me. But he didnt, and he used me and now i can say the mistakes i made with him, will never be made by me again

I was out with a few friends, and i pulled my boyfriend aside and talked to him. He dumped me and i went to talk to my friends and i broke down. I dont cry usually, i pass out most of the time. But i just bawled. And i still love him a lil bit so we kinda hooked up with him…. his dad walked in…. lights off and everything.. THAT WAS EMBARRASSING!!

Well you said that you guys joke around a lot with the “i hate you thing” which is why it is easier cause you know that you both are kidding. But telling him that you love him is the full truth. If you too are really close then it shouldnt matter, just let him know that your friendship is way more important tp you then your “other” feelings for him.

Good luvk, and i hope everything turns out for the better

-Carolina

There are so many things i’d like to say are good about me. But i dont know if i believe them. nothing really seems to fit. I ave a family who looks at me and goes “haha!! u let another good one go! what this the 5th?” and parents who refuse to admit that i have a problem (depression). So i dont get to see upsides that much.

Do you believe that everyone has a true love? and if you do, do you believe that they always find each other (my dinner conversation with a friend of mine)

(btw, thanks for everything)

you are a very incredible person jim,

I too love my x’s but my last one is the only one that still loves me too (in a family kind of way). And yes you are right i haeve lost love, and this time was the first time that the pain was so great because i found someone who i could finally say “i love you” to without caring who heard, the first one who could also do the same for me. And i just wonder if it took me this long to find him, will i ever find another?

to jim is good enough,

Whats the point of loving someone if there is a chance you will fall out of love? i have asked many different people and they have all said the same thing… you’ll have thoe great memories and learn a few things. But all the memories do is make me miss him more, and what i’ve learned is that love doesnt last forever. Bith not very positive things

thanks Guth,

you have no idea how much you have helped me. I have talked to a lot of my friends, but a lot of them have turned thier back on me. Strangley, its only the girls who have decided that they hate me. All of my guy friends are the ones supporting me. Reguardless of the lack of femanine support, my guy friends take care of me. They understand me and have been making this sooo mcuh easier for me as well. As have you, thank you again

Carolina

Thank you so much, what you’ve said does really help. I know that i need to give him space but its hard considering that he is the person in my group of friends that everyone follows. what we do on weekends is chill at his house then go to a movie or something. I find myself thinking about past times with him, like when i’d be on the phone with him for hours at night because he broke down, and i wanted nothing more then to make things better. I lost sleep, emotional stability, and time that should have been spent with my other friends. But to tell you the truth i dont think that i would have traded it for anything. My home life sucked (and is getting worse) and having this responsibility on top of someone who loved me was new. I had never had a purpose before, and now that its gone, i find myself thinking whats the point? Why should i be here if im not helping anyone? but theres another part of me wanting nothing more then to live….. basically, its world war 3 through 10 in my head

I’ve been doing better, and i keep telling myself that i have moved on. Like today I found myself hugging him and feeling nothing but hugging a brother, i was with him for a while and everything seemed ok. But then i find myself reading one of his poems a few minutes ago and praying to god that it was about me. It said i still love you, and you still love me. but it was writen about a month ago. i dont know what to do. I thought i was ok but now im crying and wishing that i’m going to wake up from this nightmare in his arms.

just keep in mind that this girl is hoping above all else to be with you. and when you do something like this, she thinks its going her way. only to be shot down yet again when you tell her the truth. let this be a lesson for you, she is a person. with feelings, hopes, and desires. Dont treat her like an animal by using her as a piece of ***. by coming to get help on the situation, you have proved that you are a good person. or at least you want to be one. so tell her the truth, and forgive yourself.

-Carolina

I am in his situation. I am still crazy about my ex, and he knows it. we were together for about 6 months and i thought everything was goin great. But he dumped me cause he didnt have feeligns anymore and he didnt want to hurt me. But moral of the story… if you dated for almost 2 years, then obviously he cares about you. And tho his feelings are driving him crazy he most likely wants whats best for you. and tho u may say that u want to make him happy, pretending to like him when he knows u dont feel that way anymore wonthelp him or you

My ex did the same to me. He said that he was so depressed and that he never wanted to leave me, and i started to cry and believed him. That very same night, he said he had no idea what he was doing and that he didnt mean it. He told me flat out, and yea it hurt that he toke advantage of me like that, but i still do care for him, and i want to be there for him no matter what. So moral of the story… be honest and if she is as good a friend as you say she is, she will probably be pissed, but then forgive you. BUT MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT WASNT HER FAULT! (thats where it went wrong for me) and tell her as soon as possible, just let her know that you are there for her

-Carolina