mariesalas200's reply history at Help.com

I know how you feel in some way. I’m going through my own horrible feelings of my ex right now. We were together for 5yrs and he broke up with me before x-mas last year. It’s now August and I’m still in such turmoil about it. I kept myself very busy, and everthing seemed to be fine until he contacted me about some mail I had at his place. It was pretty much all over for me after that. I felt so sad. We had some moments where we were able to talk nice to each other after the break up, only through email, but that only made it worse for me. I can say this for him, he worked really hard in our relationship, but while he was building it up, I was taking it down, and distroying it. I had anger problems and never really seeked help until it was too late. I was very abusive, I did all sorts of things to make him end up hating me. I regret so many things in that relationship, and he is the first one to point them out. I have beat myself up over the many terrible ways I’ve treated him. I have cried so many tears over our break-up, and I know I’ve caused him so much pain. It really has put me in a bad place. However, as my ex has said to me…we need to take these hard times, and look at them as an opportunity to grow. We each had our own journey and issues to deal with. It’s true we do. It’s important to seek help if you’re having such a difficult time as i am. However, I agree with everyone else, friends really help. I feel so unbelievably fortunate to have some very close friends that care enough about me to listen to my heartache. I’m starting to feel better. This guy that you’re talking about, is just a guy you met one day, you will meet another guy one day. Another thing to remember is that sometimes people think they’re in love, when they really are not. Sometimes we are in love with the idea of what it brings to our lives, but we are not in love with that person. It’s wonderful to have a companion, to share things with, but at what cost? We weren’t really happy, yet I find myself romanticizing (I know I didn’t spell that correctly) about the great times we had. I even find myself fantising about if I were to run into him someday, what it would be like. I have to catch myself when i start doing that. I have to tell myself to stop thinking about the past. As hard as it is we have to move on. We need to learn from our mistakes so that we will not repeat them.