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• . posted (2 years, 3 months) ago
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  -=-
  Fifth: Candp
  I mostly wrote that stuff on my Profile thinking no one would really read it or take it seriously anyway!
  It would be stupid to think that way, life would never treat anyone like that; I’ve seen that. I know it’s stupid to believe I’m a Princess. I left home because I HAD been treated like one, and I wanted to be BETTER then that. My parents loved me, but they didn’t give me the right tools.
  I understand I need to toughen up, get my hands dirty, or whatever, but how? I was never taught the how.
  So, yes, I knew all this :)
  Thanks for your time.
  -=-
  Sixth: SlimLine2
  Wow, I must’ve hit a nerve! You were pretty harsh for being a member of a HELP website :)
  Oh well.. I expected someone to say that. I hate it when people whine like that too. I know it; but sometimes everyone feels like this. It doesn’t mean they do all the time, but sometimes it just comes out.
  Besides that, if you were going to write a nice reality check for me, you should have typed it better. :( I can’t really understand some of that.
  I find it funny that you completely side with my situation, and only tell me to grow up :)
  I knew this, I know this. I wrote this so people would tell me what I don’t know.
  I bet you like the phrase to ‘Pull up one’s self by their boob straps’. That’s what my mom would say when she was depressed, and people who has mindsets like the advice you gave me, would tell her.
  Well, sometimes when people are depressed, or upset, you just can Pull yourself out of it :)
  And if it were that simple, I wouldn’t have joined a site like this, or posted, making myself vulnerable here.
  Thanks for your time.
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago

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  First to LazyDazeTCo:
  
  I found your post very helpful :) It makes a lot of sense what you did.. I always had that mindset, that if I don’t try, I won’t loose anything. Unfortunately, you don’t get much or anywhere that way. It just feels like theres never a safety net that way either..
  I’ll look into Open university, but it sounds too good to be true. I don’t know how well I would learn that way either, and it would be limited what I could actually take that way probably. Specially in Math, I’m horrible at Math and need lots and lots of real help with it lol.
  
  I appreciate you taking the time to help me :)
  -=-
  Secondly to Loredo:
  I know, you’re right, but I just can’t ‘move’ back home. I’ve lived with this family for 2 years. They treated me well, I really couldn’t just up and pack, could I? I have a hard time doing what I need to. For example, if I want to leave a job, I usually just write a ‘letter of resignation’ and leave it somewhere for a manager to see it and never come back. I can’t face telling people something directly I guess. I’m used to just slipping away, or coming back.. It seems like in real life, with real situations, you can’t do that. I never learned that; is it something you can learn?
  I know about being tired enough in a situation to do what I need to. I’ve done it before; you get to the place that you feel like if you don’t change something, you’ll scream. I guess I haven’t quite reached that point of desperation. I keep waiting for that point.. actually in the beginning I think I avoided getting a job because I hoped that her parents would kick me out; Thus, the blaim for me leaving is off my shoulders, and would be there fault. I would have no reason to feel guilty, because it wasn’t my choice.
  I don’t mind making choices if it’s only me that is involved, or who is being hurt, or whatever; I have a very hard time making choices when theres other people or variables involved.
  I always thought I was one of those people who should be alone because I work better as an individual; I depend too much on others for my happiness. I feel stronger when I’m alone; does that make sense?
  Also, if that point of desperation isn’t happening, then I guess I’m not really in a desperate situation.. right? It’s not that bad then? If that’s true, how should I progress, if the trigger is never pulled?
  Bah. My Dad is old fashioned, stubborn, believes to be easy going(When in reality, he doesn’t face his problems directly; gee maybe I got it from him.) Theres been times in the past, my family has given him useful advice, and he just kinda shrugs it off. I doubt he would really do it or look into it. It’s always been my Mom who made him, pushed him, into doing things. And usually by that point, she had exhausted the subject to the point where he did it mainly because her nagging bothered him.
  I think he has a ‘come what may and hell to pay’ type of attitude. I guess if it’s brought up I’ll mention it. I don’t know if it really matters that much to him, either. It really is a high amt to live there, since it’s near the water. And there’s tons of mosquitoes and apparently the type of people in the surrounding areas is digressing.
  Thank you for your help though :) I appreciate your time.
  -=-
  Thirdly to Heather:
  WOW! 60,000!?!?! Wow.. Well, I’ll try to keep that in mind, that if she’s 10,000 and I feel this way, you must be very strong :) It’s stupid how important education is, and yet, you pay through the nose! It’s criminal!
  I wanted a career in Art; but it’s HARD. Lot’s of competition, lots and lots of raping yourself for what is needed, what is wanted, and what you offer. And I found the only Art that is really liked, or popular, or whatever, is the really weird stuff.. The stuff that looks like ‘Puke on Canvas’ I lost a scholarship to something like looked like glazed up-chuck on canvas. :(
  I decided to be an Art teacher, but nothing higher then Elementary, because Middle School would be Hell, and either Middle or High School wouldn’t pay enough for all the crap you go through. But then, main stream public and their kids, make me nervous because I’m not mainstream and I don’t think it would work.
  So I decided to use my Art for hobby.
  I appreciate you taking you time and telling me all of that :) I wish you best of luck!
  -=-
  Forthly Neku:
  Thanks.. but most of those sites have catches, and there’s more to it then meets the eye!
  The only one that might work is the donation website thing, so I’ll see if my girl friend could do it, since it’s her debt. I doubt my pity story would be worth any money.
  Thanks for your time!
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago

• I sweat on my face all the time.
  

  I know, all the women in my family sweat a lot too! I call it the ’snowman’ disease. Because it always seems like I’m melting. It’s so embarrassing!
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago

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