bestwishes's reply history at Help.com

Beautiful.

I am sure he did not report you. You’re right, you would definately have been informed by now. The guilty feelings have really stuck around for quite some time though, so you might feel better doing something like… writing him or her an anonymous letter about the fact that you were caught cheating by him a couple years ago, and thinking him for not turning you in… letting him know that you have felt bad ever since, and that his ability to give you a second chance was much appreciated. Teachers love to get stuff like this because they are rarely given the chance to hear the positive way that they might have influenced their students. And he or her did positively influence you because you have become more conscientious since then. (I’m sure you never cheat enymore!) The letter might help to release your guilt. Good luck!

Oops, I just noticed you said he is 17. Old enough to get a job, but young enough I think to be called in as a run-away. So the later part of the post might apply best.

It depends a little on how old he is… If he is old enough to be on his own (e.g., to get a job, etc), then he has probably made the right move. For whatever reason, his family is going through something that is getting in the way of being able to be there for him. It doesn’t mean that someday this might not change. But for now, he might be better off removing himself from a toxic situation. He might feel better if, after a few days, he writes his mom a letter to let her know that he cares for her, but that it seems a little distance is needed for now. She might not reply in the way that he would like. But at least then he knows that he did his part. If he is not old enough to be on his own, she can call the police and report him as a run-away. If that is likely to happen, he would be better off to let the police know about the situation. They may be able to get him and the family in touch with some resources to help them through this. Or, they might be able to facilitate an arangement where he lives with another family member or a friend for the time being. I hope this helps some… I’m sure it is hard for you to see your friend going through such a difficult time. But, know that he is better off because he has you as a good friend who cares.

It is amazing how much it can help when you get a lot of exercise… Ha, Isabellaboo just said the same thing, I just noticed. When ever I exercise, I sleep WAY better.

no, wait a little longer

I agree completely. I have to think that everything happens for a reason. Even bad stuff can trigger great things. Tragedy can bring friends together… war can remind people about the imporance of peace and tolerance… mistakes turn into important lessons. I think you have a great outlook. Hold onto it!

Practice definately does help. Although, some people get so anxious that they simply can’t get on stage enough to practice. If this is the case for you, and if this is truly interfering with your life goals, there is a medication. Propanalol (Inderal). It is usuallly used to treat high blood pressure, but it was found to help with performance anxiety. It has been used for quite some time to help musicians. It does not leave you feeling drowsy or dopey like some anxiety medications do. A regular doctor can perscribe it for you if you explain the severity of the problem. It works best if you only use it when you absolutely need it (not too frequently) because it can stop working as well if you use it too often. Eventually, you would likely no longer need to use it because the repeated practice (getting on stage) will eventually extinguish your anxeity.

I agree with jefwell. Make sure she is really sure. She will feel good that you care enough about her to ask. It sounds like you really care for her (assuming this is the same girl you are refering to in your other post about moving to where she is). If she is not ready, she could end up regreting it, and maybe resenting you later. You probably know this, but sex tends to sometimes be more emotional for girls than for guys. She might be wanting sex mainly to feel more connected with you, to feel special to you, to feel loved by you. So, make sure and check with her, and let her know that she doesn’t have to have sex with you to get those things.

I know this might not be the easiest thing, but it can help alot to talk to a therapist. A good therapist would be able to help you talk to your mom about this. The nice thing is then that person can be like a mediator to help your mom to hear you and to help difuse her anger if she starts getting angry at you. It’s hard to have difficult conversations with people you love sometimes without some help from the outside. The main goal would be to help you to talk with your mom about how this is making you feel. The goal is not to make your mom talk to your dad. That is an issue for your mom to sort out on her own. Although, it must be so heartbreaking to watch all of this from the sidelines.

Watch her body-languare around other people that she is close with and then compare it to her body-language around you. Does she seem to make physical contact with you more than others (e.g., hand on your shoulder, etc.). Does she act more nervous around you? Does she tend to stand closer to you than she does to other people? Try to be objective and honest with yourself (it can be tempting to ‘read into’ small things). Does she seem to want to spend time with you or talk to you alot? You can always slyly try to find out from her what kind of guys she is interested in. If she likes you, she will probably send a hint in how she answers that question. Good luck!

I have a tattoo on my wrist as well. What I did is I wore a watch with a wide band to cover the tatoo for the first few months. After I got to know everyone, it just didn’t see like such a big deal anymore. So I stopped feeling like I had to wear the watch all the time. I also started to notice that some others had tattoos. If you don’t think of it as a big deal, others will likely follow your lead and not view it as a big deal either. The key is to not draw attention to it (don’t point it out or have unnecessary conversations about it at work). As a side note, I wouldn’t wear a bandaid. It can look like you are covering a self-injury.

I know it can sometimes feel like there is no other solution but to give up on life. But promise yourself that you will not harm yourself for at least 24 hours. During that time, make sure to be around other people (even if it is just hanging out at the local coffee shop). I have found that a single day can make a big difference. This might help to get past the terrible sad feelings. But then it is time to tackle the other issues you mentioned, like struggling through school and trouble holding a job. These can be symptoms of depression, which is SOOO often successfully treated with antidepressant medication. Your family doctor can prescribe it. You don’t have to go to a “shrink” necessarily. Although, antidepressant medication works best when combined with supportive therapy. It can feel GREAT to talk to a therapist, even if only once a week, when you are feeling this way. Depression is very very common, most people live next door to someone who is feeling the same way. Hang in there and know that others are sending their thoughts your way.

I was in a similar situation after highschool and joined the military just for one term (not active duty, but the reserves). It gave me some time to figure things out and to grow a little. But now a days with the war, this is a hard decision to make. I would suggest getting involved with something that you know will help you to grow and give you time to sort things out. What that is might depend on your interests, but checking out job listings might help spark some ideas.

Manual stimulation for some might also include using sex toys (such as vibrators) on one another.