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• need advice on marriage……my husband and I get along great.
  

  I know where you are, and all I can say is “I’m sorry”. I don’t have any good advice to give you, because I have just resolved to accepting things for what they are. I was heading down that path to where I didn’t love him anymore, but I remembered what I fell in love with, who I fell in love with. I realized that it is not his fault he is unable to do the work he used to. He is doing the best he knows how, I have encouraged him to start his own business, but we lack the start-up money and we live in an ecomically depressed area, so the risk is very high. I understand his worries about taking the risk, although I am willing to take the risk, he is not. He is afraid of failure, or success, I haven’t quite decided. I know this phase will wear off and I will once again be at my wits end. I don’t know what to say, besides when I said “for better or worse” I meant it and I just have to remind myself of that. How would I feel if I was suddenly unable to work or clean house or carry my weight in one way or another and he left me for it? that is what I have to ask myself, “put yourself in his shoes” I say to myself. But we have been living at his mothers house with his brother and my three to five kids for 8 months now, my kids have to sleep on the floor, we can’t pay all the bills without his brothers help. all my stuff is still in storage and everyday we hear complaints about my kids messing up the house or breaking something else, her house is still full of all her stuff so we can’t fully move in. It’s a terrible situation. our credit is terrible, so we can’t get a loan. We can’t afford to rent a house, and we make too much for low-income assistance housing. I just have to keep plugging away at this grind stone and repeat “This too, shall pass”.
  
  I think you are way past me in this scenario, sound like you are to the end of options, but…….if you still love him, then there is still a chance. If he still loves you, then there is something to work with. I often think maybe it would be easier on my own. but I would miss the companionship, the emotional help, an extra shoulder to carry the burden of life.
  
  I’m sure I haven’t been much help, but hang in there. I can tell you are a strong woman, you have made it this far on your own. supported a family through the years, successful in raising your kids and helping them through college. buying a house, putting yourself through college classes and bettering yourself. Maybe the men in our lives are sometimes moral support instead of financial. I think the roles in marriage have flip-flopped these days. While I completely support the idea of equality in men and women, I sometimes wonder if our fore-mothers had known what they were creating if they would have avoided Womens Liberation. But we are strong and can adapt, more women these days are the bread-winners, they are the support roles in the family…..I don’t think we are supposed to change that now, we can only adapt.
  - written 2 years ago

• need advice on marriage……my husband and I get along great.
  

  thank you
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• I AM IN NEED OF HELP: I have ask the Church I belong to, but was told that because I can not go to all there meettings they will not help me.
  

  if you are in Arizona try NACOG or an affiliate, they help with emergency assistance or can refer you into the right direction.
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• need advice on marriage……my husband and I get along great.
  

  We have considered that. In fact he first quit his job to get his contractors license because of his back problems. running a construction business would be better on his back than the actual framing, but the guy we were goin to go into it with fell through, now we don’t have the money. So I started to push him into opening an engine garage, but he doesn’t like to do mechanic work, ( he can, he has done it since he was 12-he just don’t like to) but he does like to build engines and has a great reputation in town already. We can’t get a loan because our credit is soooooo bad. So I pushed him to get his brother-in-law (who is working for) to help us out, he had a shop behind his store that would have worked out perfect. If he would just help us to get started. But his b-n-l shot him down because then he would lose his lacky and even semi-threatened him “well, if your not gonna sick around then I need to hire and train someone else”. making my husband doubt himself and feel powerless. So he gave up. He licks the feet of this guy and it sickens me.
  
  Every thing I come up; with he throws roadblocks up to them intsantly. I realize he has insecurity issues and I think is afraid of succeeding or afraid and trying and failing. but I can’t keep trying to help him when he is not helping himself. and should I let our family suffer because of it?
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• need advice on marriage……my husband and I get along great.
  

  that is a good suggestion…I will try that. thank you both for all your help. I feel I have a little direction now instead of screaming into the wind.
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

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