complicated's profile at Help.com

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Last 4 Posts Authored

• The best thing I’ve seen all week, check it out, it will make you smile! posted (2 years) ago
  http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/pinkdolphin.asp…

• If I should come out ahead posted (2 years) ago
  At the end of this game called Life It won’t be because of my fancy style Or that I knew how t…

• Stephen colbert is my hero! posted (2 years) ago
  !! anyone else agree?…

• How do people feel about little white lies? posted (2 years, 1 month) ago
  My boyfriend (of 12 years) thinks there’s nothing wrong with white lies. If he says “…

• All Claimed Posts »

complicated's Top (3) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) What are your thoughts on Homosexuality.
  

  You’re born that way and there is nothing wrong with it at all! It’s like being born with blue eyes, nothing you can do about it. Sure, you can fake another eye color, but that doesn’t change the original color of your eyes and you have to take out the contacts eventually.
  
  Who would choose to be so discriminated against? And anyone that disagrees, I’d like to know at what age, they chose to be straight?!
  
  I think people need to have a don’t ask don’t tell policy about their religion, that’s something that should be kept private! Not whether you love men or women.
  
  If it’s a private thing…then every straight couple out there needs to hide their straightness too because that wouldn’t be appropriate either!
  
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago – voted for by secretcrusheronmynel

• (1 vote) i am in love with a guy i really dont think exists.
  

  Well there’s your problem…thinking you don’t deserve better. You need to KNOW that you deserve the best or guess what you’re going to attract?
  
  Why would you not deserve the best? There is only one of you…you are rare and rare things are special.
  
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago – voted for by Silent.Scream

• (1 vote) I’m having a bad day, which usually wouldn’t
  

  Well as long as you’re confiding in someone. I still say, relax and be yourself and you’ll draw people to you….you’ve got a loving fiancee after all…there are guys out there that would trade all their friends for a woman.:)
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by Rushyo

Last 5 Replies – All 361 replies »

• can people change?
  

  Hi there!
  
  Sorry I haven’t been on for a while, but I hope something good has happened for you since your last post…my life gotta little crazy.
  
  I’m so proud of you that you had the courage to express you feelings. It sounds like you did awesome! :) But he’s not necessarily right…about why would he go back to someone that hurt him.
  
  And, I have to say (well type);) what first comes to my mind when it comes to your situation. I feel that if he was willing to forgive you long enough to sleep with you that he is contradicting himself in a way.
  
  He may decide he wants to be single, and in that case, it’s his loss, it’s just the universes way of teaching you something that you can grow from. And that something better is on its way to you.
  
  Because you did something that is rare for people to do…you evaluated yourself and learned something, then went to the person you hurt and asked for their forgiveness. That’s huge by todays standards. Most people never want to take responsibility for themselves. And maybe ask yourself if the tables were turned and it was he that made the mistake, would he want to be judged as harshly as he is seemingly judging you.
  
  You’re human, you made a mistake, you learned from it and you made amends. You’re growing exactly as you should. Now it’s his turn to grow.
  
  And it’s going to hurt for as long as you let it hurt really. It’s okay to feel hurt and sad and miss him, but the longer you stay in those feeling, the more your brain can get addicted to those states.
  
  So, you’ve given him his opportunity, but don’t let him take your power to move on if that’s what ultimately has to happen. Try not to put your happiness in his hands because it really is in yours.
  
  I know…how cliche, huh? But that doesn’t make it less true.:)
  - written 2 years ago

• I’m asking all of you (no offence.) old peaple, my 80+ year old grampa is refused rehab he looks like crap!
  

  [quote Richard Cor de Lyon]I’m one of the old sick and wise people AKS invited to the post. I’m 48 and 2 years ago was hospitalized for a week… and January of this year, was hospitalized twice due to a heart attack. I can tell you, even at 46 and 47, I did not want to spend one second more in the hospital than I had to. It really is impossible to heal completely there. I understand the pressures on your Aunt… she has no relief of other siblings?? Can she hire home health professionals?
  
  The bottom line here is mortality. Your grandfather is feeling his. At 80 the statistics are against him, and he knows it. He wants to be home, and I can’t blame him. Have you talked to him about dieing? How does he feel about it? How do you feel about it? This is a time of transition for him where he has to come to terms with how he is to continue this adventure, and perhaps how to say good bye to all you. This is the time where YOU can learn so much from him by just spending time with him… and I’d spend every minute you could spare with him.
  
  He knows the burden he his to you, and trust me he is not proud of it. He’s embarrassed because he cannot control any of this. So he comes home… a place where he feels he at least has SOME control. How do you like it when you have no control?
  
  Last but not least… Old people are stubborn… yes, because they have EARNED the right to be stubborn. Admire him… learn from him… perhaps teach him… and most of all love him… for when you next blink your eyes, he shall be gone.
  Bright blessings~
  Richard[/quote]
  
  This is a very, very bright man and 100% right. My grandmother is 84 and still lives at her home. She fainted while she was shopping yesterday and cut her chin, but she only wants to be home, not in the hospital matter what. It’s where her dogs are, her main companions…it’s where her belongings are, and where she feels safe. My grandmother is my hero and the elderly should be cherished the way a small child is…no matter how stubborn, no matter their mood or no matter their behavior in the past. So be as kind and loving and patient as you would want someone to be with you.
  - written 2 years ago

• ok this one’s for the ladies on help.com
  

  [quote Tobirocus]but im still at a loss as to how i can get my confidence up. i have experienced this before, and when i finally worked up the courage to ask that girl out. i was standing there shaking more than i would have been had i been having a spasm attack.[/quote]
  
  Well, don’t ever try to change yourself to fit what you think someone else wants, ever. Always be yourself. And the way to get your confidence up is to do something you are afraid of doing. And do it again, and again, and again. With each time that you try something you are afraid to do you gain more and more confidence in yourself that you will get thru it no matter what.
  
  Never think of the things you don’t like about yourself. Only think of the things you do like. Make a list of everything you like about yourself and look at it every day when you wake up and before you sleep.
  
  If you know how great you are and deserving of everything you want in life..other people pick up on that. They’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
  
  So just be yourself, don’t worry about what others think and try, even when you are afraid of the outcome and that will make you stronger, give you confidence and the drive to go after whatever it you decide you want out of life.
  - written 2 years ago

• can people change?
  

  Well, then I’m thinkin’ it’s time for the talk…just be fearless and get it over with…let him know that you’re interested in getting back together because guys do say completely different things to their friends then they do to a girl. He may have just told his friend that he wants to be single because he doesn’t want to whine about wanting a girlfriend. And if not, it’s best that you know that now…you will regret it if you don’t….and uggh is right, those “model” girl friends are worst! ;) Nothing like a model to make a girl feel insecure…but look on the bright side, odds are she can’t spell the word insecure so you’re golden! ;)
  
  And if he’s dumb enough to decide that he’s not interested that will suck, big time. But you’ll survive and that just means he’s not the one for you. There’s a saying that if we wanted so much to be with the wrong person, imagine how great it will be when the right person does come along.
  
  Be brave!
  - written 2 years ago

• Its been two weeks since i’v cut myself, two weeks is a long time for me becouse i was doing it every day.
  

  I think those cravings will go away when you address the reason why you’re doing it to begin with.
  - written 2 years ago

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